The Bachelorette: "I just want to suck on some toes."

Today is another We Watch TV and Go to Movies first: DUGAN'S guest blog post. Without further ado, here are his thoughts on last night's wonderful episode of the Bachelorette:

"For those not familiar with Dugan's Bachelor/ette thoughts, my favorite part of every single episode is Chris Harrison's explanation that the last rose is just that: "Gentlemen, Jillian, this is the final rose tonight." Some episodes come and go and that remains my favorite part. Last night was different. There were a ton of great parts. Let's start with Tanner P whose foot fetish is getting out of control. After saying he has no hidden agenda or talent of any kind, he gave the line of the night, "I'm just here to suck on some toes." As for talent, I thought Tanner P did a great job opposite Skeet Ulrich in Scream so I don't know what he is talking about.

Let's move on to Juan. I now have a part that rivals (will never surpass) the Harrison line at the final rose. ABC pumps in Spanish guitar whenever Juan enters the scene. It is fucking fantastic. Also, he is gayer than a parade. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except that he is on a dating show for a woman. His look and gestures made you question, but when he gets alone with Jillian and discusses fashion. Its over. Game. Set. Match. Now, we have a very interesting side-story. Will Juan find love in the men's bungalow? Brad and Tanner F. leaving this week must have been a blow to Juan's happiness in the man cave down from the mansion. Right now, Dugan and his TV Gal will be watching intently to see if Juan can find true love. I have my money on Jake after that western outfit looked far too natural during the Martina McBride date. Or perhaps a brand new season of the Bachelor next year. On Bravo.

Ed had a great date. Ed's date would have been stronger if he didnt ask for the rose. That's always a desperation move and doesnt come across well. Does anyone else think Ed reminds you of Ed from the TV show Ed? Confusing, I know. I may have a rooting interest because Ed doesnt look like a personal trainer.

Dave's a dick. And a "trucking contractor." Sadly, I don't think his performance will negatively affect his career. You get the feeling Jillian is actually scared to let go of him because of what he will do.

I'm afriad Dugan's post might become like a Simmons post on the NBA - not because its well written, funny, or read by anyone. But I could go write about 10 pages. We had some firsts which I will condense below:

1. The rose ceremony parties are a pretty swinging event. There were multiple shots of women besides Jillian. We always knew Chris and camera men/women were there. How big are these events? Can we attend?

2. Who the F is Mark? Have we been 3 episodes into a season knowing less about someone? I swear he was just added to the cast during this rose ceremony.

3. I loved Ed munching down food during the party. Safe with a rose, he's chowing on wings like he's at a sports bar. AWESOME move.

4. Kicking Sasha off on a bus. Great TV. But no one believes that Sasha actually rode a city bus in the middle of the night to LAX. So, picture the scene. You have producers telling Sasha, "Ok, you just got dumped for never having been dumped before. Now, we are going to make you look like a loser and have to board a bus for an exit scene." OUCH.

5. Does Wes' song have one verse? He sang it 43 times on the episode and I only heard one line."