According to the voiceover guy, "love is in the air." Did I mention I love this show?
"This Season on the Bachelor" shows that the women appear to be a little more ethnic. Mrs. Wags astutely comments that, "it almost seems like ABC is reeling from a lawsuit."
Sean's intro started off with him spending a record amount of time shirtless. He said that the show is going to be physically tough. Did someone forget to tell Sean that this is not the Real World/Road Rules challenge? He obviously got his 'roids on in preparation for the show. I heard Sean is going to go on Oprah to confess his PED sins.
Before meeting any of the ladies, Indy Arie, paid Sean a visit. They remarked that they haven't seen each other since Curacao. That's a statement I will never utter in my entire life. Apparently, Indy came over for a Bachelor role playing session. Indy asked Sean to pretend to give him a rose, pretend break up with him, and pretend kiss him. These two guys were meant for each other.
We meet some of the girls first (i.e. the favorites)
1) Say Yes to the Des(iree) - bridal stylist, clumsy
2) Tierra - a leasing consultant, pumped up that Sean is the Bachelor, has a tattoo on her ring finger (red flag), named Tierra (red flag)
3) Robyn - quirky girl,
4) Diana - 30, two kids, owns a hair salon which is "pretty cool"
5) Sarah - just an average girl with one arm, has a French Bulldog so she's my favorite so far
6) Ashley S&M - obsessed with 50 Shades of Grey, wants Sean to spank her, Mrs. Wags thinks "her parents must be so proud."
7) Lesley S. - there's going to be two Lesleys?, works in DC, no way she gets along with Ashley Grey
8) Kristy - Ford model, she cares about her modeling agency but no one in the audience does
9) AshLee - "professional organizer," adopted by a pastor, (she's going to be in the Top 3)
Chris greets Sean. I'm still sad that Harrison isn't the Bachelor.
On to the limos:
Wave 1:
AshLee is the first one out. Even the producers think she is the favorite. Jackie came out, put on extra lipstick, and proceeded to lipstick graffiti Sean's face. Selma then proceeded to wipe of Sean's face with a hanky. This seemed staged. Nothing is fake about this show, right? Leslie H. said Sean's a hunk. She must have seen the intro video. Daniella from San Francisco created a handshake, embarrassing all Bay Area residents.
Wave 2:
Kelly from Nashville sticks with the stereotype sings a country song about swee' tea'. Mrs. Wags thinks it's shocking that she's a cruise ship entertainer. Katie did some yoga with Sean. Sweet savashana. Ashley S&M offered up some S&M right off the bat, surprising no one. Taryn. That's it. I have nothing to say. Catherine comes out and Sean tells her she's beautiful. Once again, nothing interesting here.
Wave 3:
Robyn tried to do a backflip roundhouse something and appeared to dislocate her elbow. It made me feel queasy. Lacey is a graduate student. I can't believe her cosmetology program gave her time off to be on the show. Paige OPERATES A JUMBOTRON. I have so many questions. Tierra comes out and explains that finger tattoo. It is an open heart, ready to be completed. My reaction: yuck. Sean's reaction: first impression rose. I'm starting to think we might not get along. Amanda is a "fit model." Is there really any other kind? Keriann drove almost 3000 miles to get to Sean. Someone explain to her how to use priceline.com. Say Yes to the Des(iree) made wishes with pennies in the fountain.
Wave 4:
Righty Sarah came out rocking the one arm. Brooke, the third African-American woman of the night, came next. ABC has now doubled the amount of minority contestants they've had in the past 27 seasons. Diana thinks that Sean looks like Ken. Lesley M. proves that there are, in fact, two Lesleys. She had Sean bend over to hike a football so she could stare at his butt. Well played.
Wave 5:
Kristy the model says she thought the night was about "you and I." She may be a model, but she stinks at grammar. Ashley H., the fourth African-American gal. This is amazing. Lauren's family owns an Italian restaurant and her father will break Sean's legs. Italians everywhere cringe. Lindsay came out in a wedding dress. Humans everywhere cringe.
Harrison broke in for a breather. Thanks Harrison. I needed the break.
But wait! There's one more person.
Surprise Limo:
It's Kacie B. from Sonoma Ben's season. She wants a second chance. The girls think it's unfair. I checked the Bachelor Penal Code, and there's nothing against Bachelor Law in coming back for a second chance at love.
Inside the house, Sean got to know the ladies a little better. He gave the first ever second impression rose to Say Yes to the Des. AshLee Top 3 then got a third pre-rose ceremony rose. The girls expressed concern that there were no rules. How can they be expected to live in a world of reality television without rules?
Selma, Jackie, and Robyn then got a few quick roses. Sean continues breaking all the rules!
Ashley S&M got drunk and busted out the tie again. Sean then busted out a "rape whistle" joke. Did I mention that I don't think I'd get along with this guy?
Leslie H. got a rose. Who needs rules!? Rules are for squares.
Righty Sarah felt really bad about intimidating people with her one arm and told stories about how hard it is to meet guys. It's making me feel worse about calling her Righty. But not really. I am also willing to break all the rules (of decency and kindness). Don't feel bad for Righty; she got a rose. Sean obviously can't wait to meet Righty's family.
With seven roses remaining, Amanda, Lesley M., Kacie B., Kristy, Daniella, Taryn, and finally Lindsay take the final seven.
Goodbyes to the woman that sang country music, the jumbotron operator (so many questions unanswered), Ashley S&M, and some others that didn't make much of an impression.
Until next week, with helicopters (guaranteed).
Posts
Tim, I apologize for the delay. The Fighting Irish and kids can really get in the way. After watching the first two episodes, I contemplated calling and confessing I was not up to it this season. Then, last night, sitting down to write after the NFC title game brought that Bachelor love right back to me. How can I give up in the midst of a season where I actually like the Bachelor/ette. While I looked forward to Emily's, she was kind of a dud. "Righty" is an all time nickname and one we will instantly remember during our Bachelor/ette reunion get togethers.
ReplyDeleteHope all is well and looking forward to another great season of WWT blogging.