Ok, a day late and a rose short, but here we go with the finale recap from Arie. First, I was concerned that SLC Jef met with Emily's family before me. But then I saw he decided on a white tee to impress the in-laws. I like my chances.
As for the family, I am pretty sure Suzy smokes a carton a day, used to date the Marlboro man and is not going to stand in anyone's way. Dad's gonna be tough nut to crack. And playing the role of Emily's brother is Corporate Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.
There is a little too much dead fiance and Brad talk here. Jef is screwed.
My chance to meet my future in-laws
I decided to match Jef's casual look and wore pajamas. Dad doesn’t want to waste my time. But I get a little nervous and waste everyone's time talking nonsense. I decide to break the ice talking to Dad and Corporate Buffalo Bill Ernie about fishing…
I continue...
I am a little behind the 8 ball and need to bring the heat. I drop my single mother bomb to show how serious I am. I pass the Dad and Suzy test and only have Corporate Buffalo Bill Ernie left to talk with.
Ok, I'll settle with you. Ernie freaked me out. There is a reason I race in Indy and not Nascar. Ernie told me I have a pirty mouth.
Jef's Date
Emily and Jef get a beach date – boring. Jef weasels his way into seeing Ricki and does a pretty good job breaking the ice. I could be in trouble. I wonder what scrapbook type gift Jef has planned. A book about curacao? Really? Emily, I'll get you the Indy 500 trophy.
Then Emily says she'll keep the coffee book "forever.” That is going to look so awkward on our coffee table in Scottsdale.
(SIDEBAR - Where do these great gifts from bachelor/ette losers go? I
want Blakeley’s scrap book!!! Please tell me there is a market for this
paraphernalia.)
Uh oh. Did she just drop a “honey” when saying goodbye to Jef???
Honda commercial
Emily, did you notice the Honda commercial playing during the finale? It offered a ride with Mario Andretti or Arie Luyendyk. During the finale, were there commercials about Jef's father? I doubt it.
My Date with a Witch Doctor
Ok, I am beginning this date with an old witch doctor. Just your
normal date. I am making a love potion. God, I hope this works. Emily always thought it would be me. Thought? Past tense? WTF?!?
This is pretty embarrassing. I just made a love potion for no reason. At least I didn't have to buy a ring from Neil Lane. But I also didn't get to meet Neil Lane. Is meeting Neil Lane worth proposing and being rejected? I think so. Now I am really upset. I didn't even get to meet Neil Lane.
My thoughts on the final rose ceremony
I don't really know because I wasn't there.
See everyone next season on the Bachelor.
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I need some Jame Gumb and Ernie comparisons on youtube.
ReplyDeleteArie's overconfidence combined with the audience knowledge that he was going to lose was painful.
It's too bad Arie didn't win. I would have loved to see the awkward interaction between Emily's parents and Arie's parents at the live, televised, 2 hour wedding special.
Actually, maybe the interaction between Jef's SLC parents and Emily's family will be just as good. Here's hoping they stay together.