The Bachelorette Finale: From the Perspective of SLC Jef

This week, affectionately dubbed by my cousin Michael as the WWTB "super bowl, will be written from the perspective of both SLC Jef and Indy Arie.  Dugan had first pick on which perspective to write, and he chose Indy Arie (likely Emily's choice as well).

So let's begin SLC Jef's imagined perspective:

So I get to meet Emily's parents.  I brought them flowers and hair mousse.  I spent so much time on my hair that I did not have any time left to choose a shirt.  In the end, I just wore my white undershirt.

I had a chance to sit down with Emily's mom.  She seemed a little skeptical of my ability to be a stepdad (is it the hair?).  I borrowed a movie line and told her that Emily's completes me.  Works EVERY time!

I got a chance to speak to Meat Head, Emily's brother.  I asked him if Emily is "ready to settle down?"  He said, "Oh no, she won't settle."  We might be having a Mormon-Christian disconnect.

Finally, I wanted to get Emily's dad's approval to ask Emily to marry me.  He quickly gave me approval as long as I am sincere.  I sure hope Arie doesn't seem sincere.  He probably won't, right?  Right?

My Opponent Shows Up


I really need Arie to blow it with Emily's family since Emily is still probably regretting not taking him into the fantasy suite.  An uphill battle, I know.  Arie kept talking about how he dated a single mother.  WHAT!?  Did he mention this before?  That rat bastard must have strategically saved this information until the end.

After getting her Dad's approval (too easily), Arie left after some making out.  Even I might have to admit that she has a better connection with Arie.

My Last Date 


I got to have one last date with Emily at the beach.  I thought I would make a different impression this time and wear a gray shirt.  Maybe my wardrobe change will do the trick.

Since I am basically a big kid (remember my skateboard?), I really need to meet Ricki in order to win this thing.  After five boring minutes of my begging, it worked!  I'll bet Arie won't get to meet her.  Just me, right?  Right?

I got to meet Ricki!  Emily said that it really great to watch me play with Ricki because it "shows where my head it at."  She gets me.  Especially my six-year-old mentality.

Emily then said she feels "differently" about me than anyone she's met in a long time.  Since she wanted to get it on with Arie, what does "differently" mean?  I sure hope it's not a little brother thing.

I'd like to take a moment to thank Fleiss and Co. for making it look like I have a chance.

Interview with Harrison


Emily had a counseling session with Harrison before her date with Arie.

Did I just hear her say that she doesn't even want to have the date with Arie because she's on a different level with me!?  MY SKATEBOARD SCHTICK WORKED.  The underdog will prevail.

Now I really get to enjoy this episode of Arie looking like a fool.  Have fun with that "love potion" buddy.  Prediction: it's not going to work.  Is it going to be "amazing to hear the words" that she loves you?  Nope.  It's going to feel good to hear that you're getting dumped!

Breakup


Arie handled it like a champ.  I have to give him credit.  On the other hand, if Emily is choosing me and is so confident about it, why is she sobbing and blathering on about how great Arie was?  She kicked everyone else to the curb with ease, but not Arie.

Neil Lane


Now that Arie is officially a loser...bring on Neil Lane!  I'm ready for some wisdom:
1) "A ring brings joy."
2) "Round diamond set in pink gold...very symbolic."
3) "That's a great ring.  I think she'll love it." (at 8 carats, that's a reasonable prediction)

Proposal


Was it fair that I was nervous to propose?  Yes.  Everyone thought Arie was the one.  Should I have been nervous in hindsight?  Obviously, no.

Emily told me that I was the only one that got to meet Ricki, and I'm the only one standing.  Didn't really see that coming.  Now how am I going to introduce my Southern Christian fiancé to my Mormon parents?  I guess you can't fit every important life conversation in a six week courtship.

I proposed.  She said yes.

Best part: the final song.  Add this to the soundtrack.



Do I have a lot in common with Daniel-san?  The answer is yes.  I'm a champion.