The Bachelorette Episode 7: Getting to Home

We pick back up with the Bachelorette in Buenos Aires. Full Disclosure: Tim convinced me to watch with Whisky. It really helped me get through the show. But, it has NOT helped me turn my notes into a coherent blog. However, we need to forge ahead as hometown dates are around the corner and we are left with 6 men and must end this episode with 4, 

Who’s left? Sweet Baby James, Chase Needs a Nickname, Marine DeVito, QB4, Swimmer Robby, and Cool Hand Luke…but let’s be honest. We all know QB4, Swimmer Robby and Cool Hand Luke are getting hometowns.

Marine DeVito gets a Boost

Marine DeVito rides with JoJo as the remaining men take a bus across Argentina. MD and JoJo do not appear to have much chemistry but at least he’s not rapping like the five honkeys on the bus….OH GOD WHY DID I SAY THAT?!? Marine DeVito flaunts has freestyle chops and demands JoJo give him something to rap about:

JoJo: “Me!”

Marine DeVito: “YoYo JoJo gots to go to the Liquor Sto.”

A small part of me just imagined a parallel universe where the BLM is actually protesting these 6 guys trying to rap. You know what isn’t a good sign for Marine DeVito’s chances? He walked out dressed as a Gaucho and she laughed at him. Short people love to be called short. JoJo: “You are a cute little gaucho.” By the way, if you do a google image search of “Midget Gauchos,” you can get into an internet wormhole. 

All we need is an opening and Fleiss & Co. are going to put him out of his misery. The hints have been there. (Yes, I’m ignoring that odd horse whisperer).

Marine DeVito delivered up a meatball and JoJo might as well have been GianJoJo Stanton.

MD: “Tonight is one of the happiest moments of my life…” Then, he professes his undying love.

JoJo: “I don’t feel as excited as I should be…”

Goodbye Marine DeVito

QB4, Wine and Rogers Family Drama

Having been on a winery tour with Ms. Dugan, Tim and Mrs. Wags…this private jet winery tour is a big yawn. They crush grape with their feet and then drink it. Why? Is this how it’s done?

QB4 explains that he’ll meet his parents and brother and then his brother’s dog, Carl Weathers. You could tell that JoJo was upset she isn’t going to become besties with Olivia Munn. It appears Aaron Rodgers’ protection has broken down since his brother just blindsided him on national tv.

Then, we get a gem from QB4: “I could have kept playing but football didn’t define me.”

Robby, Chase, Sweet Baby James and the Rain Out Date

Ok, it’s getting late and I was mostly watching Stanton demolish the ball all over Petco.

· Sweet Baby James pounded a plate full of fried.
· The guys started massaging each other. No. Really.
· Pictionary and Truth and Dare made an appearance.
· James calls out Swimmer Robby for ogling other women.
· Swimmer Robby still secured the rose and will get a hometown date.

Cool Hand Luke, Guns, and the Quick Draw Rose Ceremony

They were set to have a nice date with some horseback riding and skeet shooting. After a couple shots, JoJo wanted to cut to the chase.

Robby is safe. QB4 and Cool Hand Luke feels safe. They are. Chase is joining them.

Goodbye Sweet Baby James.

Just yesterday evening, they let me know you were gone.

James, the plans Fleiss made put an end to you.

I walked out this morning and I wrote down this blog,

I just can't remember who reads it too.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain.

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,

But I always thought that I'd see you again.

Won't you look down upon me, Chris,

You've got to help me make a stand.

You've just got to see me through another day.

My body's aching and my time is at hand

And I won't make it any other way.

Oh, I've seen Jake and I've seen Vienna.

I've seen dates that I thought would never end.

I've seen Bachelor Pad when I could not find a friend,

But I always thought that I'd see James again...