The Bachelor Episode 6:

It's Christmas Eve!  Or, more accurately, Christmas Eve for government employees.  Tomorrow is a holiday.  Oh, you don't get Lincoln's birthday as a holiday in addition to President's Day?  Since I do, I will be sure to have an extra whiskey in your honor.

My four favorite presidents

Back in Thailand, Colton was walking the beach in a suit at night.  It looked really natural.

The Nigerian Nightmare and Camila Cabella continued their debate from last about bullying.  We need the First Lady to settle this.

Rose Ceremony

Joining Hannah Alabama, Sixpence, and Favorite Cassie with roses was

Miss North Cackalaka
Tayshia
Kirpa Band-Aid
Demi
Other Hannah
Katie
Knicks Sydney

Showing maturity for the first time, Colton got rid of the Nigerian Nightmare and Camila Cabella.

The show headed to Vietnam.  For some reason, the ladies felt the need to lightly jog around the new hotel.  It kind of reminds me of when cooking show chefs have to sprint around a kitchen.  I never want to have to sprint around a courtroom because that means something has gone terribly wrong.

Solo Date: Other Hannah

The date started with a couple's massage.  Vietnamese masseuses appear to just wrap you in banana leaves and take off.  Give me the Swedes every day of the week.

Back at the house, Miss Cackalacka criticized Other Hannah for "just getting by on her looks."  That's rich coming from a person that competes with her looks.

By the way, my computer auto-corrected to spell "Cackalacka" the right way.

Other Hannah looks like she's 14.  She sounded like she's 14 when she said, "Opening up is not my jam."

Other Hannah realized her parents were getting a divorce when her mom drove her car over her dad's lawn.  And he loved that lawn.  I am dumber for watching this.

via GIPHY

Other Hannah got a rose.

Group Date: Favorite Cassie, Sixpence, Tayshia, Miss Cackalacka, Katie, Hannah Alabama, Knicks Sydney, and Demi

The women had to do a martial arts fight for Colton's heart.  The best part was the guest judge, the host of Bachelor Vietnam.  Great news: we have a new blog coming out next year.  www.duganandwags.hanoibachelor.com

Not much happened in this group date.  The women started to crumble.  Katie said her biggest fear was being misunderstood.  I'd go with premature death, spoiled half and half,  or breaking my femur, but hey, we all have our things.

Colton's beard bugs me.  It seems like the kind of beard we all grew in college when we wanted to see what it felt like to have a beard.

Knicks Sydney couldn't handle that Colton "never looks at her."  Shocking that a gal used to being stared at by 20,000 fans at Madison Square Garden would need this kind of attention.  The lack of attention drove her to leave the show.  Power move when you know you're getting sent home by the end of the episode.

Tayshia got the date rose.

Solo Date Kirpa Band-Aid

Kirpa Band-Aid seemed like she was not that into Colton.  Or maybe she's just a normal person.  I can't tell.

Later in the evening, Kirpa admitted that she was engaged to a guy she had been with for eight years. Like Colton, this dude was a virgin.  All these 20-something virgins.  Maybe it's for real.

Kirpa got a date rose.

Colton's Hotel Room

Demi popped snuck over to Colton's room.  She pointed to the bed and asked, "Is this where you sleep?"  Hey, look at that coffee maker, "Is that where you make coffee?"

Is this where you go to the bathroom?

Her plan completely backfired, and Colton sent her home.  He couldn't see himself with her in the end.  He only has space in his heart for one blonde that looks like she's 14.  

Rose Ceremony

Joining Kirpa, Tayshia, and the Other Hannah with roses was

Hannah Alabama
Miss Cackalacka
Favorite Cassie
Sixpence

Katie left while dropping a bomb on Colton, "You have a great group of girls in there; some are ready, some are not."  Best of luck figuring it out, Colton!