The episode began like all others with Colton in the shower.
Miss Cackalacka in Fredericksburg, VA
They took a really romantic horse drawn carriage and passed by all the sights of Fredericksburg. Cack's pediatrician's office, a strip mall, and a burger joint. It's not exactly Central Park.
They met Cack's family at a backyard BBQ. Cack's sister looked like her but with a crappier makeup artist.
Mamma Cack is not sure if Colton or Cack are ready for this. Stepdad Cack says it seems like they should just be friends.
Colton asked Stepdad for permission to marry Cack. Here was his reaction:
Mrs. Wags, watching the show for the second time this season says, "These two don't even know each other. This is bonkers."
Other Hannah in Birmingham, Alabama
Part of me kind of hopes they run into Hannah Alabama.
Other Hannah said she's going to show Colton "what the South is all about." Ohhhhh. Great.
Apparently this meant going to a class to learn manners. Don't worry Colton, I have you covered:
Colton said the first thing you should do when you sit down is "say grace." This guy is 10 years old. I hope he asks permission to be excused after he whines about having to eat his vegetables.
Dinner at Other Hannah's included lots of family and Hannah's mom.
Lunch Lady Mom looked like she was going to vomit over the idea that Hannah might end up with Colton.
Hannah's dad felt similarly. When Colton asked his permission, he looked shell shocked and didn't seem like he would be give his permission. Fleiss and Co. and their bright lights and cameras caused him to cave.
Mrs. Wags' analysis: "They seem like the most real-life couple."
Tay Tay in the OC
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| I miss this show. |
I have never gone skydiving (and don't intend to), but the most terrifying part would have to be flying in that jalopy of an airplane to get up there.
The skydive showed off Colton's male pattern baldness. Major problems in sectors two and three. It makes me like him a just a little bit more (but still not that much).
Tay's dad confronted Colton's for saying he was falling in love with her since he's saying the same thing to three other women. Great point dad. Colton asked permission to marry Tay Tay. Permission...denied. Yes, dad, yes.
Tay Tay's older brother seemed like a softie, but he said he's going to be in federal law enforcement and hunt Colton down. I LOVE THIS FAMILY.
Tay's dad gave his permission in the end, but I sure hope he breaks her heart so the older brother can get to work.
Mrs. Wags' analysis of Colton and Tay Tay: "There's no way."
Teacher Cassie in Huntington Beach
Of course, the date started with a surf lesson. This should go only slightly better than the snowboard lesson last week.
I think I fell asleep for a few minutes while these two were talking to each other.
Back at the house, Teacher Cassie's family was blond. That's about it.
When talking to her dad, Cassie's dad questioned the wisdom of getting engaged at 23. Cassie delivered the QOTN, "I'm not dumb." I think she might have said "duh" also, but I am not going to rewind. There is only going forward. No backward.
Cassie's dad said no to giving his blessing and he didn't rescind. He wins MVP of the episode.
Mrs. Wags' analysis: "Dumb." After she gave her in-depth analysis, Mrs. Wags went straight to bed.
Rose Ceremony
Getting a trip to the most boring fantasy suite of all time was:
Other Hannah
Tay Tay
Teacher Cassie
Goodbye Miss North Cackalacka. You probably deserve better than this guy.
Until next week, when Gov breaks down a heavily previewed fence jump.
Posts
Tim, like this show, we are getting older. I identify with the parents much more than with the contestants. I understand the pressure the show's producers and daughters must put on the parents, but I have to believe I would remain steadfast in my refusal to give blessing.
ReplyDeleteDid you notice that Colton didn't ask for the father's blessing, but permission? He is 10 years old.