It is 5 weeks into the season and all of the ladies are officially "in love" with Brad. And while Dugan is in love with the blog, it's also the end of the month and has some billing to get to. Luckily, it was a pretty uneventful episode for blogging.
We have three dates to discuss, the usual one-on-one , Group Date and the year's first two-on-one Battle Royale Ashley edition.
Shawntel's Enbalming Exposé
6 Feet Under Gets the first one-on-one Date as the show moves from California to Las Vegas. Mrs. Dugan is confidant in 6 Feet Under and feels a hometown Funeral Parlor visit is in our future. Shawntel gets to experience a slight upgrade from the Chico Mall as Brad takes her on an upscale shopping spree (Dugan is bored....UNTIL). Of course the producers don't let 6 Feet and Brad enjoy their Pretty Women moment. They parade Shawntel and her many purchases in front of the remaining women. (Extend claws. Have everyone who has had a one-on-one complain about said one-on-one. End scene.) After a considerable amount of this "one-on-one" was spent with the other girls, Brad and Little Miss Chico head up to the rooftop for some Embalming talk over dinner. Brad gives a rose to "the hottest funeral director" he's ever met even though there was some disturbing talk about Peaches, the cross-eyed cat.
Vegas Nights: The Ballad of Bradmund Freud
Nascar Brad takes the following ladies on a car racing Group Date: Alli, Food Writer Britt, Lisa, CEM II, Sporty Spice Marissa, Next Bachelorette Emily, Car Dealer Step-Daddy Chantal, and Artist Jackie. However, it really turns out to be a Bradmund-Emily one-on-one with the other 7 ladies leering longingly at our loquacious leading man.
The Show's producers went that extra level of dick having Emily race at the track that ended her late fiancé's driving career. Emily puts Brad at ease, pushes herself, drives and wins this Race for the Rose.
Brad realizes he has some pretty big shoes to fill, and the producers have wisely foreshadowed Emily's exit stage left to become the Bachelorette.
The remaining girls are jealous of Emily but none express it quite like Alli. As all fans remember, Alli had her own tragedy in life. She previously confessed to Bradmund that an ex-boyfreind once intimated she had a big derriere. Congratulations are in order as Alli serves up the quote of the night:
“We all have problems. We all have issues. Just because she has the worst story, she gets the most attention.”
Two-on-One Battle Royale: Ashley Style
This date lost a lot of steam once you realized the Nanny and the Dentist were close. The girls were not going to pull out all the stops to trash one another. Brad cuts the more attractive and stable Nanny Ashley to keep around the Dentist. I thought this would have been a good time for a double cut. But now when I think of my former pick to go far and first impression rose recipient, Nanny Ashley, this is all that comes to mind:
Rose Ceremony
Brad stops by the ladies’ suite for the rose ceremony. Chantal lets Brad know that the women felt left out at the Vegas Nights date. Brad explains that it’s just science.
Alli gets some special alone time with Brad that she was desparately seeking. (Dugan secretly wishes she now gets sent home). Marissa gets some special alone time that she was desparately seeking and gives Brad a stack of notes to read. (Dugan secretly wishes she gets sent home tonight for the added humor). CEMII pulls some dominatrix maneuvers with Brad and lets him know that it’s time to send the others home.
We know 6 Feet Under, the Dentist and the next Bachelorette are safe. Joining them are . . . CEMII, Alli, Food Writer Britt (Surprise!), Artist Jackie . . . and Step Daddy Car Dealer Chantal.
Sporty Spice Marissa and her pack of notes are kicked off the show. Lisa is gone, but rushes home to study for the PSAT’s.
Till we meet again.
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