I'd Like You to Meet My Second Family

Welcome back Bachelorette fans! This week proved to us that, yes, love don't come easy. It was hometown date week. All of the hometown dates paled in comparison to what occurred in Austin, Texas. Before I focus my attention on Wes's date, I will Haiku the other dates.

Reid sells real estate
Just like his middle class mom
Has issues galore

Jesse has a bro

Who looks like a young Gandalf

And blew it for him

Mike has a twin bro
Jill won't fall for their twin trick
Family room dancing

Kiptyn lives in style
Sister looks like a celeb
Hot tub jokes fail

I would create a Haiku for Wes, but I need more than a 5-7-5 structure for this country bad-boy. The first aspect of Wes's date that I liked was finding out that he has two families. "Jillian, meet my band." Strangely, Jillian did not inquire if Wes's band knows any other songs. A loyal blog tipster/superfan has the answer for how you can hear the rest of his songs.

The next best part of the date was Laurel. Who's Laurel, you ask? Well, we don't actually know her, but we learned all about her from Jake. Jake had a five hour layover and a hotel room reserved in Austin (I read another blog that said Jake routinely travels through Austin for work). After briefly consulting with Tanner the moral compass, Jake laid it all out there for Jillian about Wes. This was no surprise after seeing the previews, but it was a true shocker when Jake named Wes's girlfriend by name.

Now to the best (i.e. most frustrating) part. Jake confronted Wes and Wes WON. Jillian bought Wes's excuse hook, link, and sinker. His explanation was that Laurel is his ex, but he just calls her his girlfriend still. Classic. Of course, Jillian went on to give Wes a rose. At some point, the producers can't keep driving this relationship. Jillian can only blame herself for this obvious heartbreak.

Jillian's hotel room proved to be very active place. After Jake showed up, Ed returned. You remember Ed, the guy who left the show because he was going to lose his job. Well it turned out to be a good thing that he kept that rose because he wants back in the show. Let's try a logic game to determine why Jillian kept Ed around:

If Jillian likes guys who are flakes with issues

And Ed is a flake with issues

Jillian must like Ed.

This show is too easy. All of the final contestants on the show can fit perfectly into this logic pattern.

The roses went to Wes, Reid, Kiptyn, and Ed. Jillian justified her pick of Ed by stating, "I need to meet his family...or at least talk to them on the phone." I suggest she ask last season's Bachelor Jason how well that "phone-a-family" plan worked out for him and Melissa.

Goodbye Jesse and Michael. Your wine and humor will be missed.