If you have followed the writing on this blog, you'd know that Dugan has frequently compared Jake the Bachelor to Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Bateman and Pavelka (Jake's real last name) share good looks, dirty blond hair, and a complete personality deficit. ABC knows this too. That is why ABC has tried to create who they want Jake to be. Jake on a motorcycle? Awkward. (Ever notice that the spelling of "awkward" is kind of awkward itself?). Jake talking about his office "being at 37,000 feet?" Sounds like a line out of a romantic comedy that no real pilot would ever say. Jake saying that "love is more powerful than flying." Of course it is. That's not romantic, it's obvious.
When the Trista the first Bachelorette picked Ryan the firefighter, I remember thinking that this guy will never be able to face his co-workers again. The same holds true for Jake. Aren't most pilots former military service people? Jake's co-pilots probably already made fun of him. This show surely isn't going to help.
Two parts of the season premiere really stood out for me: 1) Jake throwing a football and 2) overemotional contestant Michelle.
1) Jake's football throwing abilities were alarming. When one of the girls wanted to throw the football with Jake, I assumed he might be decent. A childhood Pop Warner football photo of Jake appeared earlier in the episode. He seems like an athletic guy. Alas, Jake throws EXACTLY like a famous movie character who is well versed in time travel and plastic sales:
2) Almost as equally alarming was the psychotic display of Michelle from Anaheim. Her serial killer tendencies shattered her normal facade. She cried because she was not getting one-on-one time and then when she had her alone time with Jake, she came off as completely crazy (kind of like Jake last season?). Even the two drunks with a history of bad judgment (Ed and Jillian) recommended getting rid of her. At the end, Michelle got the last rose. I am torn between blaming Jake or ABC for keeping her on the show. Since it's the first episode, I am going to give Jake the benefit of the doubt and blame ABC.
A few other tidbits from the premiere:
1) Cambodian sayings rule.
2) Best pickup line: "Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place? Now tell me. Right here, right now. What's yours? Snowboarding." Hmmmm.
3) I will never get tired of references to flying, flight attendants, co-pilots, the mile high club, and airplanes.
4) Jake let a lot of seemingly normal girls go home. I think at least one of them could have ended up as his wife.
5) Tenley the Disney girl is Liz's favorite for Jake. Though she's been married, the Disney factor pushes it over the top.
6) At the beginning of the rose ceremony, Jake said that if you don't get a rose, it's "nothing personal." Actually, nothing could be more personal.
Based on the "what's coming up this season on the Bachelor" segment, this season looks like it will be filled with the typical back-stabbing, lying, and eventually love.
Cheers!
Posts
Dugan and Mrs. Dugan had the following observations from episode 1.
ReplyDelete1. Jake keeps talking about how he is a nice/perfect guy. He also appears to be blaming women for not falling in love with him. Considering I suspect he is a psychotic mass murderer, good intuition for women out there. Sadly, ABC fills these women with liquor and throws roses at them - they are defenseless.
2. Mrs. Dugan suspects the reason Jake has not found a traditional partner is that he has not been looking at men, which clearly suit him.
3. Agree with Wags' points about ABC forcing this one. The Top Gun poses on the motorcycle, soaping up his abs, "love is more powerful than flying"...ugh.
4. Some last thoughts before giving a run down of our house favorites and individual thoughts for the kept/cut women. This season has a pretty high attractive rate. As most men know but prefer to discuss only with the anonymity of the internet, hotness is directly related to drama. Expect major drama this season.
5. Ed was very upset when he saw Jake's situation. He wished that Jillian strung him along all season only to cut him, have America fall in love and get to take out his sadness by fake falling in love with 25 women at once while the cameras roll.
And for the Ladies of the night...
Alley - lost boyfriend to roomate, must have been pretty hot roomate
Alexa - the biker chick, wished she stayed around so we could have compared her to "Gina" from 40 yr old virgin some more.
Corrie - wardrobe consultant from Kissimmee? Mrs. Dugan believes she picks out costumes for Disney characters.
Channy the Trannie - amazing a "mortgage loan officer" has time to devote to a reality show
Tenley - the cuddlebug college admissions officer is going far. I wonder if she is like the Volunteer Girls that help recruits go to Tennesee.
Elizabeth - fellow pilot = cut. Does not look like Jake wants any flying competition.
Rozlyn - do models that really don't model list slash "make-up artist" just to have something else on the Bio?
Christina - "bitchy" restaurant manager from San Diego - please tell me it's a Bennigans.
Vienna - Erica from Prince Borgese (sp?) season has returned, thinner and dumber.
Ashley - just your usual poor teacher, working on PhD whose mom sends trashy lingerie story
Elizabeth - hot nanny from Nebraska who looks like she should have left Nebraska before consulting with a plastic surgeon.
Ella - Tennessee single mom (redundant). i wanted Jake to take her son's plane then cut her...didnt happen.
Kim - the ugly NBA dancer didn't rock Kate's haircut from Jon & Kate plus 8
Emily - Mrs. Dugan and I were sad to see the fit model/katy perry wannabe go.
Michelle - crazy eyes. bad. also, perfect for Jake.
I left out a few because they were unmemorable but really looking forward to another great season.
Ok, I finally had the house to myself for a little bit, to properly
ReplyDeletewatch this monstrosity. I wish I had the time to properly count the
amount of painfully obvious "work" that has been on this group of
girls. Lots of raspy voices, lots of fallers, lots crazy eyes.
Almost all the women could have introduced themselves with Tianna's "I'm going to sound crazy..." IE Michelle and her stare of death at the first impression rose - this girl is going to FLIP when she doesn't get picked, good thing CRAzY and Sincere are synonyms to Jake). I'm with Liz, I can't believe they didn't include any participants within Jake's core demographic of obvious matches (men). By the time we got threw jake's shower and painful reflections on love. We get to see the introductions. And like the motorcycle ride, these interaction are obviously HEAVILY edited but you can't edit out the essence of Jake.
I really hoped Alexa was wearing gloves when she showed up because she had Rouge-like super power curse and could steal Jake's 'perfectness' with a single touch.
Corrie, what do you think about kissing-me? Florida - HOT - I watched her introduction 4 times - I have a 20 that says they edited out when Jake went in right there tongue first and got the side of her head. Corrie is the early Bachelorette front-runner/chick who hooked up with the stage hand.
Jake constantly finds EVERYway to emasculate himself, Jake: You
snowboard, well I ski, what do you think about that? Jake: You throw a football overhand? I'm more of a sidearm, underhander from my
"highschool football days" (SUCH A LIAR)
Jillian, where the hell were you when it was your season!? You weren't nearly as entertaining in 12 weeks as you were in 30 min on this episode! I also think the Bachelor should have a notebook at all times and that notebook should be disclosed at the end of the season like how the nixon tapes had to be made public. Ed and Jillian are so much more interesting then the rest of the people on this show. I was thinking about throwing the flag in (stay tuned for scenes from the next bach. where jake will be doing curls) until I saw the "this interview is over" storm out. I may have to stick around for that. Plus the sportsguy watches it, as tim points out and I have gotten through 2 seasons of MadMen so this shouldn't be that hard.
oh, and that Jake throws like uncle rico clip - PRICELESS
ReplyDelete