BACHELORETTE PREDICTIONS

One of the time honored traditions am I now invited to be a part of as an official contributor of this blog is the pre-series predictions. I don't have the amount of bachelor/ette knowledge on which to draw upon as my other contributors do for these predictions but I do have comparable MS_paint experience. As you can see, I have submitted my predictions for how the first night will fare for the gentlemen that decided to play roulette with their 2 weeks of work and pray that they a) don't get sent home on day one b) don't think its a good idea to streak while the cameras are rolling c) stay so long that it slips out that you really don't have a job, rob. Apparently the best thing that can happen to you on this show is that you out last your vacation time. The last two people to have that happen won (E.D.) or got invited back to be the hostess (My girl, Ali).

To kick off my, "You can judge a book by its cover prediction" I choose you, Derrick, AKA "Shooter." ABC may be going with a new strategy here and I think I like it. Instead of having a couple of slots open for meat heads and shit disturbers, get your mileage out of the idiots by featuring them in promos and let them get phased out early. I think the other two opening acts get roses.

My next axe falls on the Craigs. These guys are toast. I may be jumping the gun on sending them home the first night, but contestants who need last initials never last. I would like to see these two guys stay for nickname qualities alone. But it won't be long before we say good-bye to Craig "Ed Norton with blown out hair and a pink shirt from Canada" M. (ok, that nickname is a work in progress) and Craig "Droopy-Dog" R. (that one will stick). Ty wore a pirate shirt. Not going to help in the deliberation room. See ya. If you were on the fence I kept you if you had good nickname potential: Michael Phelps (Jesse) and Verizon Guy (Frank). The rest of the guys are just gut feelings - except for you Mr. Steve R. STEVE R. IS MY DODGEBALL "YOU'RE OUT" LOCK OF THE WEEK! Goodbye Pale Ryder strong with an underbite who may or may not sell something?? Why just "Sales Representative"? The guy that sells insurance is an AGENT, it makes him sound mysterious. I mean they even made the front desk guy (John C.) a "Hotel Business Developer" Is Sales Manager Derek your boss? My guess is he works in a call center of some sort, probably for a bank that took TARP money. As if all that wasn't enough... he's also from Cleveland. It hasn't been a good couple of decades for Cleveland. Bye LeBron, welcome back Steve R.

Looking at the ads on ABC.com I have to think Chris H is the early favorite and I'd put an incredible amount of money on Roberto being our first ethnic bachelor. My big prediction is that we will finally have the perfect storm of mountain man, pro-wrestler, alcohol and man rule breakers to have a brawl over our lovely Bachelorette.