The first solo date went to Divorcee Chantal. CEMII wishes her well by saying that she hopes Chantal “gets attacked by a monkey…or apes.” CEMII must have had a premonition because it turned out that Bradmund and Chantal were going zip lining with monkeys. I’ve never zip lined before, but I have some questions about the process: 1) is it really that scary? 2) Is it that much scarier to do it in the rain? and 3) If I did it, would I say I had just had the greatest day of my life? For me, the answer to all three questions would likely be no. For Chantal, the answer to all three questions would be yes. And that’s why Chantal and I are different.
Chantal took the first solo rose and Bradmund’s shirt as a trophy.
It’s group date time with CEMII, Emily, Food Writer Britt, Dentist Ashley, Undertaker Shawntel , and Jackie. As always, the group date promised to be “an adventure.” I would like to see a group date to a library or a pharmaceutical lab for once. We’d really see what these ladies are made of.
Alas, it turns out that it will be the second installment of repelling. The producers clearly planned this date so Brad would have to break his pact he had with CEMII to “never repel with anyone else.” It’s going to be tragic when they have to break their “no eating sushi with anyone else” pact later in the season. Michelle got so angry that Bradmund broke their pact that she started hitting him. Obviously, this abuse occurred before the controversial Pepsi Max commercial at the Super Bowl.
The group date ended with a trip to some natural hot springs. I question how natural those hot springs were. Underwater yellow mood lighting does not strike me as part of God’s creation. But, hey, I’ve never been to romantic Costa Rica, so what do I know?
The group date cut away to a giant beetle back at the house. The producers continued with the Fear Factor theme by strategically placing the beetle where Alli would see it and lose her mind. How does a beetle get on top of a table?
The group date ended with CEMII spoiling Bradmund’s mood. Bradmund reverted back to his pre-therapy self and did not hand out a rose. CEMII threatens to “take matters into her own hands.”
Alli’s solo date started with a pony ride. Not exactly a ride on the Budweiser Clydesdales. Liz thinks the producers might be messing with Alli because she has horse teeth. The date continued with Costa Rican spelunking. The cave contained bats, spiders, and piranhas, but it turns out that Alli is actually more scared of beetles.
Alli blew it on the most romantic dinner date ever. She made the cardinal sin of only having small talk at dinner. Breakups on solo dates are always great on this show. Once Bradmund played the friend card on her and did not give her the rose, she had to put her rock climbing gear back on and spelunk back to the house. For all we know, she might still be in the Volcano.
CEMII showed up at Bradmund’s doorstep in a redux of Rated R’s performance on crutches last season. CEMII had some sexual healing to offer Bradmund. CEMII should have stopped at the sexual healing, but she started trying to be the puppet master by telling Bradmund who to send home . . . in order.
At the cocktail party, the CEMII show continued. CEMII started crying. Detectives Chantal and Shawntel proved to be the modern day Sherlock and Watson. They realized that CEMII was up to no good and found out from Bradmund that someone had given him “grief.” The detectives did such a good job that CEMII “Rated-R’ed” herself and admitted that she got a little extra one-on-one time.
The cocktail party came to a screeching halt when Chantal played the “I love you” card. Bradmund “thanked her very much” and gave her a kiss on the cheek. OUCH.
The roses were given out to Divorcee Chantal, Dentist Ashley, Next Bachelorette Emily, Anorexic Food Writer Britt, Undertaker Shawntel, and, of course, CEMII. This episode confirms that the producers are making Bradmund keep CEMII around. I can no longer defend Brad’s free will anymore.
Jackie was forced to “take a moment, say your goodbyes.” We’ve officially reached the stage of lengthy limo exit interviews. Love it.
Until next week, see you in Anguilla…wherever that is.
Posts
Mrs. Dugan and I had a debate last night during the show which I would like to present to the WWT authors and fans to ponder.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to Alli and Jackie when cut last night? I do not believe they were immediately sent "packing" to a waiting car and whisked to San Juan airport in the middle of the night. I think the whole picking up the bags and getting in the car is all for show. I believe they shoot the "scene" and the car does a big loop and they just return to the hotel to sleep and leave at a reasonable hour and flight, etc.
Mrs. Dugan wavered a bit and allowed for the fact that they might return to the hotel, but surely they would be exiled. While asking her not to call me surely, I brushed her thought aside. The girl comes right back and its no big deal.
Thoughts?
Was Artist Jackie the most likable girl left?
Is it odd that I have been watching this show for so long that I used to call them "women" and now call them "girls"?
We've been watching this show so long that Trista Rehn became a grandmother last week.
ReplyDeleteTo address the Dugans' issues with the exit strategy, Liz and I figure that they must surely be sequestered. There can be no returning to the house. CEMII would never give clearance to any kind of return, right Clarence? I'll bet they hardly do any more interviews with them once they've been cut.
Regarding the limo ride, it must go around the block many times. Based on all the tears that are shed, they have to keep that limo moving. When they're in a foreign country though, they probably don't want to go too far off site. It must be really embarrassing to be kicked off this show.
I would anonymously put money on everyone having their own room and the 'group' rooms we see are staged sets and there is 'girls by the table time' where all the girls are brought in to talk about who said what to brad.. or 'happen upon a beetle on the table time' where Alli goes nuts and throws glasses and then when the evening shots are over, everyone has to go back to their own room. So when you get kicked off, you just sit in your room by yourself until your flight leaves. Just my guess, but what do I know? This fits nicely into the 'Shrute Theory' of why they leave the house when they do... I'll expand (in another comment box)
ReplyDeleteI think the Value of WWT analysis lies in 'what didn't we see this week' (Classic example from the last post: "Liz thinks the producers might be messing with Alli because she has horse teeth." Outstanding, too bad Alli got kicked off, we could have called her horse teeth the rest of the season). The producers also seem to like to pit one contestant against another in every rose situation. Last week it was CEMII vs Lindsey for the Final rose. Lindsey, nice vs. CEMII, crazy. However, Britt and Immature dentist get roses for seemingly no reason. I think Britt's low key nature and deer in headlights walking through life is prob the best choice for Brad for a wife. And I think Immature Dentist and Brad get a long much better than we see on TV, according to her GF, Nanny Ash, Immature dentist was up with Emily in term of getting Brad's attention. So why then, in Vegas, did the producers pit the Ashley's against each other? It's because they were too close. The producers try to get the girls out of the house before they form close relationships and can sequester them in their own room. It was too late for the ashleys, they were already in love. "One of them had to go." Boom 2-on-1 date. CEM II is simply the voice through which we hear the producers thoughts. Which means they are really the crazy ones.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe we wait until a contestant has been kicked off to find a suitable nickname. Everyone would know who you were talking about if you wrote "Horse Teeth."
ReplyDelete