Welcome to dream date week! Ben is off to Switzerland to be with his three swiss misses. While pensively flying to Switzerland, Ben summarized his feelings for each lady:
1) Nicki Top Three: "There's something enticing about her." That's just a lower back tattoo.
2) Seabiscuit Lynzi: "She's a little bit country and a little bit city." Rides horses but spells her name like a stripper.
3) House B: "There's a magical force that pulls us together." Skinny dipping and "night caps" are magical.
Date #1: Nicki Top Three
Nicki and Ben started off their date with a helicopter ride. The view was "majestic." Is there any other way to describe a view? The answer is no. It seems like majestic is really just a helicopter view word. It's also acceptable to use while on a hot air balloon. Not acceptable on a 747 jet.
The date was pretty boring, so I started thinking (again) about how ridiculous Ben's hair looks. It's really long. I decided to google "serial killer" to see if Ben had any hair similarities. Just take a look at image result #9 compared to Ben:
Maybe it's a little bit of a stretch, but Ben could totally be Charles Manson's daughter.
After talking about how many kids they want to have together, Nicki accepted a trip to the fantasy suite. A shocker, it was not.
The room had a fireplace and a hot tub in it. They got busy in the hot tub. How weird that must have been that there was a camera person in the room. Unless you're Courtney, a cameraman in the room would really hinder the romance.
Though there was no rose at stake, Nicki gave the obligatory "I love you" to Ben.
Date #2: Seabiscuit Lynzi
With every passing moment, Seabiscuit seems more like the kind of girl that spends more time with horses than humans (read: crazy).
The date began with some ravine repelling. Like most dates, this activity was a metaphor for finding love. You must face your fears, work as a team, and survive. Get it? Repelling is a lot like love.
You know that feeling when you're awake, but so tired that your brain falls asleep on its own? I think that just happened to me while watching them on this date. Snoozefest! Bring on House B.
After taking a hot tub dip in a big wine barrel, Ben and Seabiscuit went to dinner. Once again, it looks like they were drinking a Chardonnay (or some other white wine). It seems like they always drink white wines on these dates. Do you think it's because it looks better on camera? Sparkles more in the candle light?
Seabiscuit accepted the fantasy suite "even though [she] doesn't normally do things like that." After she broke down her own barriers, she said that it was a "fantasy of a suite." That's why they call it the fantasy suite. It seems like a ridiculous distinction reminiscent of Dwight Shrute:
Date #3: House B
Unfortunately, it seems that House B has toned down her act a bit. This must be part of her strategy to appear normal. House...Boring. Bring back the skinny dipping tramp!
After taking the train to Wengen, Ben and House B. got some Swiss cheese at a bakery. Survey says that this was the most pedestrian date in Bachelor history.
House B. had a ten minute cry about how her actions towards the other ladies have been damaging to her relationship with Ben. Paging Dr. Harrison! It's a shame that Chris Harrison did not make the trip to Switzerland for a relationship therapy session.
House B. said that she wants "normal" in her life, and Ben "is that." What a backhanded compliment.
Kacie B.'s Return
After prayerfully thinking about Ben for the past week, Kacie B. dropped by Ben's hotel room in Switzerland.
For you non-Bachelor historians out there, this is a common move that the producers do to create drama. Usually, the contestant comes back to see if there's a chance they can get back in the game.
Kacie B.'s trip to Switzerland had a subtle twist though. Her stated goal in being there was to "get answers" for why Ben broke up with her. No begging. No pleading. She never asked to get back on the show. On the other hand, she finished off her talk with Ben by pulling a "Pavelka." This is when you come back to warn the Bachelor/ette that they should not pick someone (i.e. House B).
Rose Ceremony
Chris Harrison's flight arrived just in time to lead the rose ceremony and have a heart-to-heart with Ben. Liz pointed out that Chris couldn't seem less interested in Ben's problems. Ben's mental issues pale in comparison to Brad Womack.
In his hardest decision yet, Ben gave roses to Seabiscuit and House B.
Nicki Top Three's run ends here, exactly as predicted by her nickname. I don't like to brag, but, whoa I'm good.
Until next week, when the Ladies Tell All...
Posts
If he decided long ago that Seabiscuit is his girl, why not keep the best "night caps" around for a while then...no harm no foul?
ReplyDelete