Welcome to Dubrovnik, Croatia. Emily carried one bag (I'm guessing she brought more than one) up some steps to the medieval city. The guys then showed up to their not-so-medieval apartment. It looks like Don Draper may have had a summer home in Dubrovnik.
Mrs. Wags doesn't think my Mad Men joke is funny. I think she needs to have another glass of wine.
Solo Date: Egg Man Travis
So I guess this guy is still on the show. Amazingly, the producers spent the money to fly him out to Dubrovnik. Fleiss and Co. obviously gave him the first date so he'll get sent home, thereby minimizing the number of Croatian goulash meals they have to pay for.
This date was not interesting. Egg Man kept talking about how he was engaged. He broke off the engagement, and has not been on a date (with a woman) in two years.
Egg Man says that he normally dates girls "like Emily, to a T." He normally dates reality television stars? No wonder he hasn't been on a date in two years.
To no one's surprise, there is no romance with Egg Man and he's headed home. Extra goulash for the crew!!!
Group Date: Fr. Doug, Sean, Wolf, SLC Jef, Bobblehead Chris, and Indy Arie (i.e. all the favorites)
Emily started off the date by taking the group to see Disney Pixar's new film "Brave." Then we got to see a few clips from the movie, not yet released. This was some of the most blatant product placement to date. If you want product placement, well, you're going to get it:
The date continued with the guys putting on kilts and competing in the Scottish highland games. Usually I defer to the superior judgment of Fleiss and Co., but I have to question why they didn't fly to SCOTLAND for the SCOTTISH highland games.
The first event was archery. Most of the guys did really well, coming very close to the bullseye. And then there was Bobblehead Chris. He missed the target completely. The next event was the log throw. Sean broke the log, and according to Emily, "looked really hot." She seems to like the meat head type. The final event was a stick arm wrestling thing. It was so boring that ABC only devoted 45 TV seconds to it.
By the way, there is no such thing as the Croatian highland games. When doing a google image search, this is the first picture that popped up:
After "laying it on her" that he could fall in love, Bobblehead got the rose. My Rose-dar was down. I thought for sure that Bobblehead was getting sent home tonight.
Solo Date: Uncle Rico Ryan
"I'm due for a rose" "I wake up every day thinking what can I be. Most men don't do that." "I'm a good looking guy. I know that." If only we all had Uncle Rico's confidence (and beard-growing ability).
Uncle Rico and Emily went oyster tasting on a boat. Emily embarrassed herself by spitting out the oyster off the side of the boat. You're not welcome to picnic with us, Maynard.
Uncle Rico kept saying that he wants Emily as a "trophy wife." After initially buying into his BS, Emily finally called him on it. She doesn't want have to fit into his "mold." Emily, proving once again that she has serious guts, sends overconfident Uncle Rico home. I guess it turns out that Uncle Rico can't throw a football over those mountains.
But wait, Uncle Rico made an impassioned plea to stay on the show. Emily decided to follow her heart and stay strong against his Jedi mind tricks.
Though no tears, Uncle Rico's exit felt Kenny Powers-esque, especially when he compared himself to "the greatest men on Earth."
Rose Ceremony
In a classic Bachelor/ette move, Indy Arie showed up unannounced to Emily's hotel in order to comfort her after sending Rico home. One guy (or gal) does this every season. How do they know where the Bachelorette is staying? If everyone knows, why don't more of the guys show up in the middle of the night? Why leave after a quick make out session? Why not stay the night? HARRISON, I demand answers.
After some emotional crying by Humble Fr. Doug, the remaining roses went to Sean, SLC Jeff, Indy Arie, an....and....and....and....Emily has left the building.
Good thing Harrison made the trip to Croatia. He was there to advise Emily that "there are no rules." Though not technically correct, Emily got the encouragement she needed to get and extra rose and keep Wolf and Fr. Doug on the show for at least one more week.
Until next week, when Dugan Czechs your baggage as our journey continues to Prague.
Posts
Emily's new name needs to be "The Executioner." I can't recall so many people getting booted on 1-on-1 dates in a season (or even the last 2-3 seasons combined). At this point, getting invited on the 1-on-1 is an ominous sign. If you aren't making out with Emily in the first hour of the date, you may as well skip the dinner and head straight to the airport.
ReplyDeleteAlso, why was Chris all the way down the alleyway when The Executioner stepped outside? He was supposedly seconds from popping in and asking the guys to say their goodbyes, but when Executioner wanted to find him, he was deep in a conversation with some producer, presumably trying to figure out how to make a final two of Jef and Sean exciting. Since the rest of the show is obviously 100% real, I dont mind that they the staged something. But if they are going to stage something, they should at least do it convincingly.
Your decision to re-label Uncle Rico as Kenny Powers is true digestif-inspired genius. What a loser. He is truly a legend in his own mind.
ReplyDeleteCan we talk more about Bobblehead's effort at the Highland games? Dugan isn't pulling punches. All these guys are in better shape than Dugan, but being in shape does not mean being athletic. Bobblehead looked ridiculous in his archery, giant tree toss and hand-holding pull game.
It was time for the Egg Man to go. It was time after opening night. He was kept on for comic relief but wasnt funny. Bad combination. We can also get rid of Indy Arie for dating the producer (next week), Father Doug, Wolf and SLC Jef. While SLC Jef and his hair may be my favorite, there is no way the Executioner is allowing a skateboarding Mormon to be new daddy to Ricki.
Things I loved about this week's show and post, and, ultimately, about my husband:
ReplyDelete1) you left out the joke that was completely alcohol induced - Croatiahattan, I believe ....
2) your never-ending campaign to bring back Diet Vanilla Coke - even though you don't drink soda anymore.
3) you proved Fleiss and Co right by searching for Croatian Highland games and the search resulted in Bachelorette advertising.
4) the pun to end the post. "Czechs baggage" ... get it?