We are off to London for Episode 5 and the men are down to 10. Some would even say it's The Final Countdown.
But let's take a closer look at the ten gathered at Trafalgar Square.
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Mrs. Dugan looks at the Ten and says it is still very easy to pick guys that will not win. She looks at the pic and declares the only realistic shots belong to Indy Arie, Sean, and Bobblehead. Do you agree? Let us hear from you in the comments.
Emily's "Prisoner of Love"
Sean's date card reads, "Love takes no prisoners." Dugan thinks..."hmmm, they're going to the Tower of London." But Sean hears the date card and says, "I have no idea what that means." And...point Dugan.
Before they get to what Emily calls "London Tower," Emily and Sean take in the sights including Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral and Buckingham Palace.
Back at the House
Indy Arie, SLC Jef, Kalon Hilfiger are talking about the group date v. one-on-one dynamic and Kalon - while twisting his mustache in dastardly fashion - explains that the rest of your life is a group date due to Ricki always having to be around, you know, being Emily's daughter and all.
Well, then. It's official. Kalon Hilfiger has become Snidely Whiplash. The transformation is complete.
Back to Sean's date and cliches about dating in prison. I have to give Emily a lot of credit. She has not - AT ALL - hid the fact that she wants kids, lots of them, and quickly. Sean says he would prefer two kids but would accept up to ten. He's going far in this competition.
A Play by any other Actors is a much better Play
Bobblehead, Indy Arie, Uncle Rico, Father Doug, Ollie Handro, Egg Man,
Wolf, and Kalon "Snidely Whiplash" Hilfiger get to embarrass themselves reciting lines from Romeo & Juliet at the Bard's birthplace, Stratford-upon-Avon.
- Egg Man brings the enthusiasm.
- Kalon Hilfiger continues to pad his Bachelor Pad villain resume. You've done enough.
- For his own safety, I hope Indy Arie is a better race car driver. Palindrome. Boom.
- Ollie, Wolf, Rico and Kalon achieve Romeo status.
- Father Doug and Indy Arie play female parts.
- Egg Man and Bobblehead get to sword fight.
- Egg Man has become a clown only there for comic relief.
After Party at the Cox Yard
The what?!? 8 guys walk into a bar called the Cox Yard. Mrs. Dugan points out that Emily's milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. OK, I chuckled. But I love bad jokes. Let's get back to Cox Yard. Seriously. Was Dick's Inn not available? OK, I'll move on. Meanwhile, back at the Cox Yard...
- Arie gets a kiss.
- Rico gives jewelry and gets a hug. Touche, Arie.
- Kalon Hilfiger seals his fate with this gem regarding his enthusiasm of talking with Emily: “I’ll get a chance to talk to an exhausted sick mother who has a child waiting on her..."
- WELCOME TO BACHELOR PAD 3 Kalon!
- That wasn't enough so he describes Emily's daughter as “Baggage”
- Father Doug tattles
- Emily gets redneck
- Kalon exits in a minivan. Minivan? They have minivans in Europe?
SLC Jef gets his first one-on-one to help put Emily back in the mood. An etiquette teacher rubs Emily and SLC Jef the wrong way and they ditch her to grab some beers and Fish & Chips. There’s a lot more beer drinking in London v. Wine in America. Over the beers, SLC Jef explains that if Ricki is baggage, she's a Khloe Handbag. Dugan is not very hip, but I know Khloe sells stuff at
Sears.
The rest was boring and then they kissed.
Rose Ceremony
- Hot Seat for Egg Man, Wolf and Indy Arie.
- Rico wants to have fun. What doesn't say fun more than a second scarf in one episode. Uncle Rico is now Uncle Jon Voight Rico.
- Kalon is already jettisoned, Sean and SLC Jef have Roses. What 6 are joining them?
- Father Doug, Uncle Jon Voight Rico, Bobblehead, Wolf, Indy Arie and the Egg Man.
- Goodbye to the “farmer” from Medellin.
Posts
Every week, I keep expecting Fr. Doug's routine as Superdad, the defender of children of single parents everywhere, is going to wear thin, but Emily keeps buying what he's selling. He's giving Dougs a bad name.
ReplyDeleteI also think the SLC Jef has a realistic chance to go far. Which is great, because I know the world really wants to see a Mormon hometown date.
I agree that Sean and Indy are the current top 2 (in that order). I think that Uncle Rico's blend of charm and insult has unseated Bobblehead for the three-spot. The black cloud of Bobblehead's age looms large.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the wide range answer Sean gave to Emily when asked how many kids he wants. Obviously, he doesn't know how many kids she wants, so he can't be too specific. "Between two and ten" seems like a very safe range, even if it was insulting to only children.
I made the mistake of reading Dugan's post while at the office. I'm sure some of my co-workers around me are wondering why I just laughed. Khloe Kardashian handbags from Sears would be the answer. My sandwich, though it tastes good, is not as funny.
I felt a little bad for Fr. Doug. He was the one that actually tattled, but he got no credit for it.
Did you notice that when Emily came out to confront Kalon, Fr. Doug called the meeting to order? I didn't know that the Bachelor requires Robert's Rules of Order.
5 episodes in, and no one has ripped on SLC Jef for his haircut.
Great point by Doug the Commenter that we all want a Mormon hometown date. I'm starting a prayer group to make it happen.
Ollie Handro going home; a surprise to no one but Ollie Handro. Don't worry little buddy, it's prime mushroom farming season back home.
Wags, i love the Robert's Rules of Order line. Hilarious. Also i agree with your ranking. Women like the "bad boy" so i think it secures a hometown date. Bobblehead, SLC Jef and Fr. Doug fight it out for 4th place. I say SLC Jef.
ReplyDeleteGovin I should have received a shout out in the Croatia reference considering the fact I'M CROATIAN! Bastard.
Jeff, when I searched Wikipedia for famous Croatians, your name was not listed. I will add you to wikipedia for your LNO and intramurals leadership.
ReplyDelete