The Bachelorette(s) Episode 10: 1st and 10 Let's Do It Again

Let me start by apologizing if this post doesn't make any sense, is filled with typos, and is not funny. I have just returned from a raucous Las Vegas bachelor party, and I am just starting to feel like the whiskey and red meat might be leaving my system.  I need to go on a quinoa cleanse.  (Not surprisingly, I guess this actually exists.)  Needless to say, tonight will be an ice cream-only event.  This about sums it up:



As usual, enough about me and more about the Bachelorette.

Welcome back to fantasy suite week, aka "Role Model Ben's Last Tryout for the Bachelor."  The show resumed with Ugly Gosling confronting Hans in an Enniskillen hotel.  As Dugan pointed out last week, it's pretty amazing that they are still in Ireland.  Less helicopters and less beaches this season for sure.  More San Antonio and more castles in return.

Role Models Ben

The fantasy date started with RMB and Kaitlyn getting on some horses.  Kaitlyn asked if horses can smell fear.  Is she too young to remember Jerry Maguire?

They had a picnic by a castle.  It looked like one of those castles that was made in the 1800s.  That's way less impressive than a 1500s era castle.

It turned out that the fake castle was the location of their fantasy night.  I hope they have down comforters because it's going to be drafty in there.  

Role Model said he "never thought he would spend a night in an Irish castle."  All he had to do was google it to realize that it's a fairly attainable goal.  Dare to dream, Benjamin.  Dare to dream.

Kaitlyn said that she wanted to make sure he's "110%" interested in her.  I now like her 50% less.  

The next morning, Kaitlyn admitted that she only slept for half an hour.  That means they must have talked a lot.  

Ugly Gosling

Ugly Gosling and Kaitlyn started their fantasy date by golfing.  UG said "golf is a lot like love.  You can do it until you're old and gray."  We don't exactly have Rhodes Scholars on this season, do we?

Like most of the rounds of golf I play, they ended their day with a game of truth-or-dare.  Right off the bat, UG selected dare, and Kaitlyn dared him to putt "nakey."  We don't exactly have Rhodes Scholars on this season, do we?

Everything was going great until Kaitlyn brought up Hans.  Kaitlyn claimed "the last thing she wanted to do was bring up Nick."  Mrs. Wags, master of common sense, pondered why bringing up Hans was the first thing she did?  

Kaitlyn continued to stir the pot by revealing that Hans spilled the beans about UG being an eskimo brother with a country singer.  UG was so upset that he didn't even make Kaitlyn breakfast, but rather went straight to confront Hans.

UG confronted Hans and right away said "you're the last person I want to see right now."  If Mrs. Wags had not gone to bed ten minutes ago, she would have pondered why UG did, in fact, make Hans the first person he saw.  

Rose Ceremony

After a Harrison consultation, Kaitlyn was ready to have her mid-episode rose ceremony.  Instead, she started crying and couldn't do what she had to do (send Role Models Ben home).  

After more Harrison (thank you Fleiss & Co.), roses went to:

Hans

Ugly Gosling

Do not worry Role Models Ben.  While may be an exit from this season, it is just the beginning of your special relationship with Chris Harrison, Neil Lane, and twenty five of ladies that are all going to pretend to want to marry you.  

Utah?

Kaitlyn left Ireland and arrived in Utah to meet both Hans's and UG's families.  No hometowns?  Now I'm completely thrown off by what this season stands for.  If they tell me there will not be Neil Lane, I might write a handwritten complaint letter to ABC.

Hans's Family

While Hans expressed his love for Kaitlyn out in front of the resort, his family was up in a hotel room getting ready to stage an intervention to prevent him from going further.

Upon entry in the room, we learned that Hans's family was the original Jon and Kate Plus Eight.  Once his parents found out that Hans was in the final two guys, they all reeled in terror.  His family is rather pessimistic, but I'm not sure why the track record of relationships on this show would give them any reason to be concerned.  

After some family interviews, the Hanses seemed cautiously optimistic.

Ugly Gosling's Family

Kaitlyn said she was not nervous to meet UG's two sisters because "sisters are her jam," as she has six step-sisters and one "real" sister.  OUCH.  Sorry evil step-sisters.  

Kaitlyn met much of UG's family, but his mom "couldn't make it."  Hmmmm.  This usually signifies that something complicated is going on.  Since I don't do any research outside the two television hours of this show, I guess I'll never find out (please help me out on this one, Mrs. Dugan).  

UG's sisters like Kaitlyn quite a bit.  At this moment, I wish Britt had been the Bachelorette because she would make the worst impressions on the families.  Kaitlyn, on the other hand, always seems to make good first impressions.  

I wrote too soon.  UG's dad wants to know "what the hell is going on, because this is nuts."  UG calmed Mr. Ugly Sr.'s fears by saying that he loves Kaitlyn.  

The show ended with Kaitlyn's tears because she just doesn't know what to do.  She cares so much about both guys.  

Until two weeks from now, when we find out who will be the champ....