"Erin go Bragh" means Ireland Forever...and it seems like we have been in Ireland forever. We begin with Kaitlyn lamenting the loss of Dr. Harris, DDS. Really? We are going to pretend like he was a loss?
Role Models Ben and The Bachelor Tryout w/ Irish Whiskey
Role Models Ben rows Kaitlyn to a private island where they return to a tried and true Bachelor shtick: hide-and-seek. Oh, you don't remember past hide and seek events? What about Farmer Chris and Andi in the Carribean? What about Farmer Chris at home in Iowa? Ok, now let's think about the last time you played hide-and-seek on a date? Oh, never? Me neither. Is this show produced by 5 yr olds?
Kaitlyn asks the QOTS during some late night time with Ben: "You seem like husband material. Do I seem like wife material?” Actually, no.
Role Models Ben discusses his last girlfriend and questions if he is lovable.
Ben drops this quote - “this relationship makes me a better person” - which caused me to reflexively google image search the word "gag." I immediately regret that choice. Kaitlyn questions Role Models Ben's virginity but won't be able to take his v card as Ben jumps to the lead of most likely Bachelor.
Group Date with American Pharoah, Ugly Gosling and Hans w/ Irish Whiskey
The men leave Chris Quinn Jared to work on his facial hair while they drink more Irish Whiskey. Ugly Gosling grabs quick one-on-one time and Kaitlyn is struggling with her desire to build trust with UG while keeping the Hans Hanky Panky from him. Ugly Gosling is oblivious to the bomb about to be dropped.
Hans interrupts and they immediately begin discussing the consequences of their escapade. Kaitlyn doesn't regret their night together: “I’m a grown woman. I can do what I want.” Oh really, Cartman?
American Pharoah is on the outside looking in and needs to make up ground on the home stretch. It's good to see Fleiss & Co. still read the blog as they cut to wild horses before American Pharaoh's one-on-one time.
You know what's not a good response when you profess your love to a women: "It’s really flattering.” Ouch. Send American Pharaoh to the ol' Barbaro Glue Factory because he is done.
She cuts him and it gets awkward.
AP: “What do I do now?”
Kaitlyn: “Whatever you have to do.”
AP: "I'm not saying shit to you now."
With AP gone, it's time for Ugly Gosling to hear the truth about Hans. UG is fairly calm, cool and collected in the face of Kaitlyn's confession.
Rose Ceremony Time
Hans, Chris Quinn Jared, Ugly Gosling and Role Models Ben take a horse drawn carriage to the gallows for one of them. UG gets the first rose and needs some reassuring. Kaitlyn snares Ugly Gosling followed by next Bachelor Role Models Ben and Hans.
Say goodbye to Chris Quinn Jared.
Great tweet by @Millsy11374: Neil Lane was NEVER going to allow man named Jared to get close to the end. Never. #TheBachelorette
Cork One on One with Hans and Irish Whiskey
Kaitlyn and Hans enter another church and Hans explains the sacrament of confession. Isn't it ironic...don't you think? Perhaps they'll end the season with a step towards another sacrament. They leave church and head to a bar (good choice) to have some crack (errrr....craic) with the locals.
Kaitlyn and Hans get along. They have a great connection. We get it. The most important fact we learn on this episode is that Ugly Gosling is eskimo brothers with a famous country singer?
Whenever I have the option to pick a country singer...GEORGE JONES!
Until next week when teh Ugly Gosling/Hans dual finally boils over.
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Good call on all the Irish Whiskey on these dates. I just got back from Vegas, and I know that I cannot hang with too much whiskey.
ReplyDeleteLoved the post. Wasn't quite as thrilled about getting a text from my mom about saying how funny she thinks eskimo brothers are.
Liz and I watched the show in an eye-opening way this week. Closed captioning: ON! It was incredible. I highly recommend giving it a try. Now my list of shows i watched closed captioned is Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, and The Bachelor.
The Jared joke was hilarious. One of those wish-we-had-thought-of-that jokes.
I am almost 100% confident it will be Role Models Ben for the next Bachelor. He lives his life like a rom com.