The Bachelorette Episode 7: Who Let The Dogs Out!

We begin in Dugan's backyard at the beautiful Baja Mar in Nassau. Often times, these trips seem so tropical and distant. Not so much with the Bahamas which is closer than Orlando to us South Floridians. Let's get down to it. We have six guys left and next week is the Hometowns episode. There are the clear favorites, QB5 Colton and the aptly named Favorite Garrett. We can safely assume they will be obtaining a rose, so it comes down to two roses for four guys: Like Blake, Sr. Banker, Potter Wills, and Leo the Lion. Out of those four, Becca appears to have the greatest connection with Sr. Banker...but we shall see.

Colton's Virginity Episode.

Colton gets one of the three one-on-ones and begins with a catamaran day cruise where they do the required Titanic move at the front of the boat. Colton was born in 1992. Titanic came out in 1997.

5 yr old Colton

Colton and Becca meet up with Bahamian Conch King Action. On a side note, during Frosh O weekend, my roomate from Long Island told me I pronounced "Conch" wrong and that the ending was the same CH sound as in COUCH. I still laugh about it to this day almost 19 years later. FYI, conch is delicious. I have to give QB5 some credit, because it did not look like a shallow free dive to obtain the conch. 

But we are not here to discuss conch. We are here to discuss virginity. Specifically, adult virginity.

This one stars Colton.

Ok, he prioritized football over relationships...yada yada yada...and is a virgin. The best part? Becca's initial reaction. SHE BAILED. Literally, he opened himself up and discussed a very personal secret and she....

Becca. For reals.

She bailed. Hilarious. Ditching him at this vulnerable time makes me thing she really isn't going to pick him. Is that what you would do to your fiance? You know what Fleiss & Co will do? Keep this fucker until overnights. GUARANTEED. Rose secured. I'll count next week's as well.

Favorite Garrett and a Seaplane

Becca and Fav. Garrett take a seaplane around the Bahamas island hopping. Dugan's favorite plane trip to the Bahamas involved a private plane flight in the morning, a few hours of craps, and a return flight that night. Good times. They like each other. We get it. Dinner.

Fav. Garrett takes another opportunity to trash his ex-wife. She was a yeller. A hot-head. The Garrett doth protest too much, methinks.

Nevertheless, Garrett says he's falling in love and secures a rose.

Like Blake and the Baha Men

Like Blake and Becca begin their date dancing with the Baha Men who were a formative part of Tim and Dugan's college experience. Thanks to a superhero named D. McDermo.

Becca drops the QOTN discussing her feelings about Blake: "I feel like I’m glowing from the inside out.”

How hard were the producers laughing when she uttered those words? Do producers have a pot where they reward the cheesiest lines per episode? The date turned serious at dinner where Like Blake discussed his mother's affair with his basketball coach and English teacher in a small town.

You know how Like Blake cut the tension? The season's firm L BOMB! He gets the rose. But before we move on to the group date, can we discuss Blake's shirt? Like Blake, like, what's going on here? 

Leo the Lion, Potter Wills, and a Sr. Banker

You have to put your money with the Banker out of these final three. Thus, this entire date will be about making the Sr. Banker appear on the verge of default, but everyone knows he's getting the final hometown rose. We'll go to the highlights because it's already two days late:

• Potter Wills parents have a long marriage.
• Sr. Banker gets to his highest rate of return, making out.
• Leo the Lion tries to play a very difficult hand on the Bachelor/ette: honesty. He correctly points out that he is not like the other guys. He admits their relationship is not as far along as the others. He admits he isn’t ready to propose next week. Fleiss & Co do not want honesty! BUT I LOVE IT.

• Leo the Lion goes down swinging. Becca is the lion. 
• Oh no. We may lose our Sr. Banker. Damn you, Fleiss & Co. I knew the curveball was coming and I still couldn't hit it. Just when we think the Sr. Banker is Lehman Brothers, Becca turns into Henry Paulson and bails out Sr. Banker AIG.