The Bachelorette Episode 8: You Better Be Vulnerable

Last week, Dugan mentioned he flies all around the Bahamas on private aircrafts playing in off-shore craps games.  

In order to feel adequate, I thought I would break out the whiskey I won at auction.  You read that correctly.  I buy my alcohol at auction.  Who needs Bevmo?  For those keeping track at home, I also have ice cream tonight too.  Let's talk about hometowns.

Fav Garrett in Manteca, CA

Though Fav G lives in Reno, he's from Manteca, CA.  It's about 75 miles from me.  I have never been there, but I always wanted to go there as a kid for one reason.

Again, F. Garrett knocked his ex-wife for taking him away from his family.  Though I don't do any outside research for this show, I'll bet her rebuttal to Gar's slander would be compelling.  Mrs. Gov, can you confirm or deny my theory?

At his family home, Fav's mom promised it would be "no holds bar (sic)."  With all that wine they have on the table, it looks like they won't be holding anything back at the bar.

Fav's mom had a chat with Becca.  Still scarred from Fav's divorce, she's understandably skeptical about this process.  I'm surprised any family member goes along with this process.  I'd have the hardest time not telling a family member that they are insane.



Garrett's family seems your pretty average upper-middle-class family.  Garrett kind of seems like he's the Lennie of the family.

Low IQ, beautiful hairline

The date ended with Fav Garrett still in the front runner position.  

Sr. Banker in Buffalo

Good Ol' Sr. Banker: the guy she should choose, but she won't because he's the "could-get-him-in-real-life" contestant.  

Sr. Banker started off the day with a wing-eating contest.  I love this guy!!!!  (But I guarantee she won't.)  

After the eating contest, Sr. Banker took her to the ice skating rink to show off his hockey skills.  This makes sense of his fashion mullet.

At night, they went to see Sr.'s family, but he warned the audience that he has "guarded and protected" his heart.  Do Fleiss and Co. issue these guys a script?  

Sr. Banker's dad also judges dog shows in his spare time.  

I've taken a sponge bath in smaller bowls than that.

Sr. Banker's brother, Ira Glass, was there with his husband.  First ever married gay couple at a hometown date?  I think so.  I loved how average it was.  No big deal.  Nothing you can do about that Kavanaugh!!!

Nice date Sr. Banker, but you have no chance.  

Like Blake in Bailey, CO

Whoa SNOW.  It looks freezing in Colorado.   

First order of business: taking her to his old high school.  It must have been fun to show off his hall of fame plaque, where he bullied all the other kids, and where he achieved his final educational level.  

I thought it was a curious decision to take her to his high school library (where he never went actually went while in high school).

I'm really going to regret it when I find out this guy is actually in medical school.  Nah, there's no aspiring doctors on this show anymore.  We can't even get a dental student these days.  

Think she got her DDS?

At his parents house, Like Blake's parents put aside their differences/divorce to come together for Fleiss and Co.  Unfortunately, it appears Blake's basketball coach (English teacher?) couldn't make it.  

The date ended.  These two seem really into one another.  

QB5 Colton in Parker, CO

Apparently, the adult virgin QB5 lives in a more temperate part of Colorado.  It's sunny and comfortable (and innocent) in QB5's Colorado.  

QB5 described Becca's "natural, motherly feel" as "something you can't learn."  He's starting to sound more and more like a virgin.  

It seems like she's not looking at this guy in the same way anymore.  It would be like Mrs. Wags telling me she's actually a USC fan.  We could never go back. 

QB5's dad, rocking the large cross necklace and braided rope bracelet, looks like he's going for the cool-youth-minister look.  

QB5 says he's in love, but I don't think his expression of love has gotten him into the top 2.  He's an obvious bronze medalist in this one.  

Rose Ceremony

Before the rose ceremony, she met with the "people who know her best," five women from last season's Bachelor.  I feel terrible for her actual friends at home in Minnesota.  

Tia, QB5's ex-girlfriend, pulled Becca aside to be "fully honest."  I was hoping she was going to reveal she had relations with him.  Instead, Tia said she still has feelings for QB5.  So maybe these aren't actually Becca's five best friends?

Before the rose ceremony, QB5 pulled Harrison aside to ask him what the rules of the fantasy suite are.  Do you have to have sex?  No, dummy, Fleiss and Co. don't MAKE YOU HAVE SEX.  

Getting roses and heading to the fantasy suites were:

Like Blake

Sr. Banker Jason (WHAT!?)

Fav Garrett

Goodbye QB5.  Thankfully he doesn't have to feel obligated.  

While the fantasy suites always bring some intrigue to the show, I would love to see a spelling bee between these three.  Sr. Banker would clean up.