Chris Harrison is sending out the vibe

Mrs. Dugan noticed that our host has lost a little weight as of late. This can only mean one thing: he's looking around. Harrison is an avid family man so we "won't even dignify accusations with a response" that this new look is in relation to his personal life. But, is it possible Chris is looking around for another gig? It appears so... nothing wreaks of a job hunt like getting rid of the winter coat combined with a flurry of activity on professional social networks and WWT has an EXCLUSIVE look into the newly updated LinkedIn Profile of Mr. Chris B. Harrison (click for the full screenshot).

The Bachelorette goes High Definition

(I apologize for the length of the post - but the first episode always provides a ton of material)


It feels so good to start a new season – like a hug from an old friend.  And what is more comfortable than ridiculous, opening montages…Ali drives around in an Audi with conspicuously covered Audi insignias.  Apparently, this girl only drives American cars…except of course when she is in an import.  We get a jogging scene where I longingly looked for shots of fellow blog contributors in the background.  No such luck MikeKarWags.  Mrs. Dugan equally enjoyed the montage noticing two beach scenes: 1) required bikini shot and 2) dancing in the waves in the evening dress.  Dancing in the ocean in an evening dress – totally natural.  Oh, and she’s just a regular girl who likes to juggle soccer balls in the park.  ABC, we get it.  You don’t have to sell us on Ali’s everygirl with a great body quality.  We are sold.  We don’t need the Jake Pavelka motorcycle hard sell.

There are so many things I love about the show, but absurd quotes are always a way to keep me coming back for more.  As the getting to know Ali montage ended, she read to us what the producers wrote on a note card: “You have to go through the fire to live happily ever after.”  We need an insider.  Who writes these platitudes for the show?  I want to send them a dozen roses out of appreciation.

Another theme throughout the night was her heartbreak over losing Jake. This has to stop.  No one believes it. Anyone can explain why no one believes this. Just stop. Ali has a concern that plagues all our Bachelor/Bachelorettes: men might not be here for the right reason.  But she has a plan - to ask the guys to be open and honest.  Foolproof!

Random observation. Chris Harrison lost weight. Mrs. Dugan wondered if he got a divorce after Roz’s attempted outing.

Let’s get to the most important part of the opening night – we'll meet the men in roughly the order they were presented to us.

Frank is from wherever his parents live, wears the men’s version of Palin glasses, left a murders and executions firm in Chicago, is an aspiring screenwriter who lives with his parents but told Ali he moved to Paris to write.  Frank complains that girls are hard to find but that should be understood if you live with your parents.  He jumps out of the top of the limo but does not pull it off Pretty Woman Style. 

Jay is from Barrington, Rhode Island is 29 and a personal injury attorney.  He set up a great mock courtroom scene and looks like an ugly Andrew McCarthy.  I also think he is one of the oldest looking 29 year olds on the planet. 

Craig M. from Canada, likes the single life and Bradley Cooper in the Hangover.  He’s in dental sales and fights with local weathermen.

Kyle is 26 from Colorado and a Mountain man.  Mrs. D and I like that his job had the following description: “outdoorsman.”  He explains all the animals he likes to kill as they show him ice fishing and he complains that he cannot find a woman.  TRUE STORY!  This guy was fishing on a sheet of ice with worms for bait complaining that he cannot find a woman.  Are we sure this is not a scripted comedy?  Insiders needed once again.  How did this self-described Mountain Man find his way on to reality television? 

Justin, aka “Rated R” starts with an even faker (is that a word?) than normal, fake wrestling scene.  Don’t tell wrestlers it’s fake, though.  It’s “entertainment” wrestling.  Just like secretaries are “administrative assistants.”  The heel has a great hook – a broken ankle and crutches are sure to secure a rose on the first night.  On a side note, he expected a little more backup from fellow Canadian Brad Cooper but was let down.

Phillip is a Chicago investment manager that decided to slow things down and concentrate on family.  I want to give Phillip some advice in his quest to find women.  Go by Phil.  You just lost 10 pts of your douche scale.  Congrats.  

Jonathon is a Weatherman from Houston.  He thinks he is funny and also wasn’t sure if his jacket would fit around Ali’s shoulders.  Here’s a tip for Jonathon.  Don’t tell women you think they are bigger than you on the first date.

Ty is in medical sales, lives in Franklin, TN and does not play the guitar as well as his neighbor Jack White.  He’s the recently divorced guy on the show.  How recent?  2 months.  Divorces can take a long time.  When did he apply for the show? Did he apply for the Bachelorette as a married man?  I hope so.  God, I hope so.

Chris is a landscaper (Bachelor first!), taught school in NYC public school (and survived!) and returned home to Cape Cod, MA to take care of his sick mother who recently passed away.  You hear that within 45 seconds of meeting Chris and only one thing pops into your head.

Chris and his sad story and black labs are moving on to the second show and was, incidentally, Mrs. Dugan’s initial pick to win Ali’s heart.  A bonus, he thinks Ali is “wicked awesome.”

Now we end the long intros and you have to worry about the guys that we meet next. 

Except for Roberto who is an Insurance Agent from Charleston, SC. Roberto and Ali have instant chemistry.  This one is going to be something to watch as the producers obviously wanted to make Roberto out as the favorite on night one. 

Tyler V is from Chelsea,Vermont, does online advertising and Dugan’s initial thoughts are that he has no chance to advance.

Derrick 27 is a construction engineer from San Diego.  The cameras show him looking in the mirror and say “you’re amazing” but I have a feeling he spelled it in his head “your.”  Derrick lets the audience in on his little secret why he’s called Shooter because of his E.D. problem in college.  Good to see E.D. back on the Bachelorette.

Steve is a Sales Rep from Cleveland.  I think its Liz Lemon’s bf who moved back to Cleveland – Floyd.  Ali is already pretty hot.  Remember when Liz Lemon went to Cleveland and they thought she was a model?  Ali has to weigh things like this.  I think Floyd sticks around because Ali could automatically become one of the hottest women in a fairly large US city.  But she would have to live in Cleveland.  Does the City start a campaign for Floyd ala Lebron?  Let’s wait and see.

 John C, is 32 and in hotel business development and from Washington.  Mrs. D worries that he may be shorter than Ali but I have a feeling he smells like money.  That usually helps.

Kirk is Sales Consultant from Green Bay, WI.  He gave Ali a paper rose and then admitted to all the men that he made Ali a scrapbook. Kirk is one of the bravest men in the United States. 

Intros are over and the men are coming out of limos.  Ali exclaims, “I hope they like me.”  Mrs. D throws up in her mouth.

We meet Chris H, a real estate developer from Vancouver, Canada for the first time.  Jesse, a general contractor from Peculiar, Missouri promises to be a “peculiar man” and that this is his first suit.  He’s 24. That could be bad sign. Chris N. is from Orlando and is an entrepreneur (ie, no job). Mrs. Dugan thought it said “entertainer” and we both hoped he would be an entertainer from Orlando which leaves three options: 1) Theme Park Character, 2) Piano Bar player or 3) Orlando Magic cheerleader. Dugan’s thoughts – No chance this guy gets a rose.

Kasey is an advertising account executive from California. He promises to protect her heart in a cheesy speech.  He talks very odd.  You know that friend that we all have, who is a close friend, that you cannot hear at all on the phone?  And it frustrates you, has for years, but it’s been too long for you to say anything now.  Welcome Kasey.

Roberto speaks in Spanish and Ali thinks he’s Sexy.  Jon, in software sales, has not a chance in hell. Craig R. is a lawyer and looks like Droopy Dog (credit mikeysmalz)and I am not concerned where he’s from because he is already trying to warn Ali about guys not being there for the right reasons.  It’s way too early for that and this Droopy Dog has to go.  The yellow, baby shoe key chain he gave her sealed his fate in my eyes. 

Tyler M is a catering manager from Texas and thinks Ali wore cowboy boots on her first date – oops.  Hunter is from San Antonio, an Internet Account Executive, and Dugan bets that Hunter agrees with the new Arizona Immigration law.  Hunter was none too pleased when Roberto got the first impression rose after his “hot sauce” dance.

Derek is a sales manager from Michigan and threw leaves in her hair.  And these guys wonder why they are still single?  I like Derek because he represents the second cast member of 30 Rock on tonight’s show: Kenneth.

 Jason is a construction consultant from Denver, does a backflip out of the limo, thinks Racist Hunter is a nerd and doesn’t like Rated R.

After Roberto took the early lead with the first impression rose, the men voted Justin as being the guy there for the wrong reasons.  Rated R must have toned it down to PG-13 with some one-on-one time with Ali because she saved him.  2 roses given out, 15 more roses and 8 disappointed dudes.

And the first rose ceremony stream of consciousness game goes like this:

3. Jesse - Peculiar Man with his first suit.

4. Ty – TN Divorcee.

5. Droopy Dog- Lawyer with stupid key chain.

6. Tyler B - who?

7. Frank - Palin glasses advanced - wealth of material for the blog.

8. Steve – Floyd from Cleveland.

9. Chris L - old landscaper.

10. Kirk - scrap booking fool.

11. John C. - he looks rich enough to keep around

12. Chris N. - holy shit, surprise of the night - Orlando entrepreneur - entertainer

13. Chris H. - who? Real estate developer Canada

14. Racist Hunter

Pan camera for puppy dog shot of outdoorsman. Nice.

15. Craig M - guys got good hair - what can you say?

16. Jonathon - weather douche.

ENTER CHRIS HARRISON, “Ali, gentlemen, this is the final rose tonight”

17. Casey - friend who you can’t understand on phone

And the cut list looks like this:

Shooter - regrets that entirely

Lawyer – Luckily the Tank is about to wrap pre-production on Weekend at Bernie’s 3, so there could be a part for Andrew McCarthy

Outdoorsman - I would hate to be a wild animal in Colorado when he gets back.

Backflipper – sip, sippin on some haterade

Tyler V - online advertising guy

Phillip – Go by “Phil” next time

John N. - please look at head shot from Bios and tell me this guy is on right show.

Derek - Kenneth

Lil' Dugan decided to stop being quiet so we did not get to watch the upcoming scenes for the season.  They looked great.  Can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts on the first night.

BACHELORETTE PREDICTIONS

One of the time honored traditions am I now invited to be a part of as an official contributor of this blog is the pre-series predictions. I don't have the amount of bachelor/ette knowledge on which to draw upon as my other contributors do for these predictions but I do have comparable MS_paint experience. As you can see, I have submitted my predictions for how the first night will fare for the gentlemen that decided to play roulette with their 2 weeks of work and pray that they a) don't get sent home on day one b) don't think its a good idea to streak while the cameras are rolling c) stay so long that it slips out that you really don't have a job, rob. Apparently the best thing that can happen to you on this show is that you out last your vacation time. The last two people to have that happen won (E.D.) or got invited back to be the hostess (My girl, Ali).

To kick off my, "You can judge a book by its cover prediction" I choose you, Derrick, AKA "Shooter." ABC may be going with a new strategy here and I think I like it. Instead of having a couple of slots open for meat heads and shit disturbers, get your mileage out of the idiots by featuring them in promos and let them get phased out early. I think the other two opening acts get roses.

My next axe falls on the Craigs. These guys are toast. I may be jumping the gun on sending them home the first night, but contestants who need last initials never last. I would like to see these two guys stay for nickname qualities alone. But it won't be long before we say good-bye to Craig "Ed Norton with blown out hair and a pink shirt from Canada" M. (ok, that nickname is a work in progress) and Craig "Droopy-Dog" R. (that one will stick). Ty wore a pirate shirt. Not going to help in the deliberation room. See ya. If you were on the fence I kept you if you had good nickname potential: Michael Phelps (Jesse) and Verizon Guy (Frank). The rest of the guys are just gut feelings - except for you Mr. Steve R. STEVE R. IS MY DODGEBALL "YOU'RE OUT" LOCK OF THE WEEK! Goodbye Pale Ryder strong with an underbite who may or may not sell something?? Why just "Sales Representative"? The guy that sells insurance is an AGENT, it makes him sound mysterious. I mean they even made the front desk guy (John C.) a "Hotel Business Developer" Is Sales Manager Derek your boss? My guess is he works in a call center of some sort, probably for a bank that took TARP money. As if all that wasn't enough... he's also from Cleveland. It hasn't been a good couple of decades for Cleveland. Bye LeBron, welcome back Steve R.

Looking at the ads on ABC.com I have to think Chris H is the early favorite and I'd put an incredible amount of money on Roberto being our first ethnic bachelor. My big prediction is that we will finally have the perfect storm of mountain man, pro-wrestler, alcohol and man rule breakers to have a brawl over our lovely Bachelorette.

Our Neighborhood Friend, The Bachelorette

We're going to take a quick break from "BFMC" and "waiting for Tim to post my nomination to the show" to allow me to share with everyone the story of my remarkable day. I'm going to start this post off on a little tangent (where I decided to spend this fateful day), tangent off that tangent and tarentino it back full circle so bear with me, the punch line is worth it for all fans of WWT (after all, it is this story that allowed me to finally fulfill my bucket list item of being an official contributor to this blog).

So today was Bay to Breakers 2010 in San Francisco and I would like to know (or at the very least, get an conversation going with our followers as to) how has there has not been a TV show and/or movie based around this event? At the VERY least there should be a reality show featuring the races participants. There is so much material to cover here between all the traditions (tortilla throwing, naked running, salmon running down stream, etc, etc, etc) you could track the float preparation, comment on the effect this day has on the homeless, even feature random tourists that may not know what's going on and happen upon a CalTrain leaving the city on a sunday afternoon? (see pic)

"Why is everyone on this train so sleepy at 3pm on a sunday" - Random Tourist

Oh yea, and some people even show up to run. I can see the next great sports movie having B2B as its center piece. The race will have its 100th birthday next year, Bill Simmons - can you please get on this project ASAP?

So, back to my day, the group of friends I do this race with recently retired our theme of being employes of a crime lab in a random international cities (see pic)

After "CSI: Mexico City ('07), Havana ('08) & Pamplona ('09) the CSI theme has been retired

This year we went with "Prep School Boys" mainly because it was cheap (we all had most of the makings of the costume), it was easily identifiable by others, and most importantly, had a wide range of props to facilitate interaction with other 'racers' - the one drawback being that we were called Harry Potter all day. On the train ride up the big winners for props were the jump rope and the hula hoop. These led to impromptu physical challenges, lots of hooting and just general mayhem that shouldn't really be allowed to happen on public transportation at eight in the morning but it is and that's why we love CalTrain.

Once I was on the race course, I instantly lost all but one of the my group friends. I had to turn to my bag of props to make new friends... enter my red ball. I started what would be a legendary game of dodgeball and it was me versus an unsuspecting B2B-2010 crowd. I learned a few lessons early: Don't throw the ball at people holding cups of liquid, electronics, small children or dogs. Males wearing full body costumes (eg. Gumby or any farm animal) generally won't be able to feel it or won't care = easy outs. Also, totally nude males generally aren't

moving very fast and are also easy outs but watch where you hit them (for their saftey and for sanitary reasons). What about women you say? Women generally do not like to be hit with flying objects thrown by men they do not know (especially if it hits them in the face). However, a close range soft toss in the leg, or back, followed by a quick "You're out" can go over quite nicely, especially if they get it quickly (ie. aren't severely intoxicated or severely out of touch). Oddly enough it seemed like the women who were by themselves or in small groups fell into the category of pleasant outs most often, which we will see later... I can only describe what transpired from about 9:15AM-1:00PM as the most epic run of dodgeball since Average Joe's Gym won the ADAA International Championship in Vegas. I was getting everybody out. It didn't matter if you were a Water Mellon, Waldo or A Baywatch Life Gaurd. You were getting knocked out. What is that? A Ninja Turtle with an elevated position trying a sneak attack from on top of a line of porto-potties...

Boom! You're out too, Raphael

I SWEAR I EVEN GOT FRICKIN PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA OUT. Kenny Powers had nothing on me today.

Then came the magical moment. About 1:04 PM I spot a lone female just off the side walk on Fell street on the grass. EASY TARGET. Direct hit right in the back! However, the grass killed momentum of the ball and my precious accessory lay at the feet of my latest casualty. Luckily this lovely young lady immediately understood what had just happened to her and laughed (1 point for her). She picked up my redball and tossed it back to me (2 points). She looked at me and I had that dreaded feeling I was going to say something that was going to make me sound like a drunk guy trying to pick up on a stranger. "Wait, do we know each other?" was the best I could come up with... but it was honest. I really felt like I knew this girl from somewhere. I continued to come up empty in the split seconds to follow as I racked my brains trying to figure it out.

"No, I don't think know each other" She responded with a smirk that completely frightened me.

I was almost positive I knew her so what is she smiling about? Oh no... "Did you go to Syracuse?" was the next best thing I could think of.

"No" Whew.

"Well what's your name?"

"Ali..." (Blank stare from Me) ".... I've been on TV lately" I felt like I just got hit in the face with a red ball. Now it all makes sense. I do know you! you just have no idea who I am.

"Do you get, 'I think we may be friends but I'm not sure' a lot?" was my killer follow-up. She laughed and so I proceeded to pepper her with all sorts of questions (most of which she could not answer obviously) and got the all important photographic evidence then walked just under 5 miles to tell my Blog supervisors in person. The most important take aways from our chance meeting can be summed up like so: Ali is a sharp girl with a good sense of humor who can have a conversation with a confused stranger and not make him feel like an idiot. She can obviously can pull off "Sporty Hot" (last BS reference for this post I promise Liz) "Rose Ceremony Hot" and my personal favorite "Crying girl hot" Ali has all the tools to be a great Bachelorette. If this season doesn't end with two people who are 'both there for the right reasons' I would put that on Mike Fliess' team of Male-herders and letting guys like 'Shooter' on the show. After watching Shooter, I feel like maybe my interaction with her (throwing something at her) was actually more pleasant than some of her recent run ins with guys...