Sweet Home Cape Cod/Green Bay/Chicago/Tampa

Now that Lebronchelorette has concluded, we must return to the much less dramatic Bachelorette.

Roberto's Tampa (with Miami music in the background)

Roberto met Ali at the "U." The U of Tampa that is. The University of Tampa has an amazing list of notable alumni. Baseball players Tino Martinez and Lou Piniella (and Roberto of course). Disgraced governor Rod Blagojevich. John Edwards' mistress Rielle Hunter. And last but certainly not least, professional wrestler Chyna.

Baseball uniforms are the ugliest. Strangely, Ali thinks they are sexy. Roberto has his jersey on with wristbands in case this gets sweaty. Ali plays baseball like Jake throws a football. She holds the bat like a whack-a-mole mallet.

Ali met Roberto's family, the Olgas. Roberto's family seemed as normal as he does. Like most contestants, Roberto needed his Dad's approval. He's an ex-army ranger and wanted to ask Ali a few questions. "Ali, please follow me downstairs to my interrogation room. Don't pay attention to the bright florescent lights."

Roberto got a blessing from his young-looking Mom. She should know a few things about this process since she was on the first season of the Bachelor.

This rather pedestrian date ended with a dance party.

Chris L. - How Cape Cod is this Guy?

Chris L. met Ali on "his beach." What a lucky dude. He informed Ali that he grew up on this beach. The beach was a real trip down memory lane for Chris which of course evokes memories of his mother. These mom memories are hard enough for me to handle, so I can't even imagine what Chris is going through. This is all way too serious for this show and way too serious for WWT.

Chris L.'s Dad finally brought up Ali's deceased Grandma. Ali says she didn't even think about that connection. This seemed like a metaphorical grave trampling by Ali to not even consider the similarity. She tried to do such a hard sell last season on the deceased Grandma story line.


Kirk - Green Bay - Holy Cow!

I guess it seems appropriate that a guy from Green Bay would constantly say Holy Cow.

According to Kirk, his Dad has never spent an entire day with one of Kirk's girlfriends. When his Dad asked Ali, "if she wanted to go see his basement," I got the feeling that he had never spent an entire day with any woman.

Taxidermy is the strangest hobby of all time. And Kirk's Dad is a bizarre taxidermist. He not only stuffs animals, but he also makes creations out of dead animals.

Kirk then brought Ali over to his Mom's house. Continuing with the Wisconsin theme, Kirk's Grandma wanted to make sure that Ali got some of the cheesy potatoes.

As someone who had braces twice, I really feel for Kirk's Mom. She looked like she went to the orthodontist from hell. I actually thought she might not have had braces but was wearing a grill.


Frank - Chicago - "I'm on a Boat"

Frank and Ali started their date on a peaceful boat ride through the city of Chicago. Frank proceeded to ruin the date with WWT-style overanalyzing of his feelings. He has proven himself to be a total head case once again.

Frank's family was really funny. They jokingly predicted Ali would kick Frank to the curb. No wonder Frank has so many issues.

Frank should have taken a trip to wardrobe before his date. I was thoroughly distracted by his V-neck/tank top/sweater combo. Liz commented that Frank looks like he just completed the walk of shame before his date with Ali. Maybe this is also a little foreshadowing of what is to come?




Interview with Harrison

The best interviewer in show business, @chrisbharrison, asked Ali the tough, pointed question about whether her husband was amongst the remaining guys. In a potential foreshadowing moment, Ali seemed to hesitate in giving her answer and was not sure.

Rose Ceremony

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Roberto's tie was loose for the 9th straight time. Frank took over the casual-dressed-male look. Ali had a crying fit about not wanting to send someone home.

Kirk got the boot. He will inevitably blame his taxidermist father.