Least Exciting Episode In Bachelorette History

It took me a couple days to get through this episode. I kept falling asleep. I'm excited about this episode for just one reason, its the first episode that all of the guys I picked to go home on day1 are finally off the show. Other than that this was no doubt the Least Exciting Fantasy Night Suite in bachelorette history!

In order to enjoy this episode of the Bachelorette you need to go into it like you are going into a action packed summer movie blockbuster. You know what's going to happen, just enjoy the ride. Ali get's her mission... should she choose to accept it... Its to fall in love in Tahiti. There are many obstacles in her way, the first one looks like the Verizon guy and, just like his doppelganger, his act jumped the shark a long time ago. The newest 'I'm way in my head made-up issue' he is dealing with is closure with his ex who he hasn't seen in months, but before we meet her Frank needs to walk around the block a few times. Frank's first seen in front of 900 North Michigan Ave, then in front of the Drake, then in front of Georg Jensen, then back in front of 900 NMA... How many times do u think he had to walk in this circle before they wrapped shooting for the day??

Franks goes and visits his ex who apparently lives in a numberless room in a hotel. She 'has no idea what's going on' and then frank talks at her with no real clear indication that he intends to make any sense or complete sentences. When he finally starts getting thoughts out, all he can talk about is his great time with Ali. Lots of awkward silence. She must have had a LOT of botox not to have a confused look on her face. I'm uncomfortable. Oh wait, I think Frank and his ex just got engaged, wtf? And he still gets to go to Tahiti.

Before we get to the drama the will unfold with Frank we need to go on a date with Sweaty Roberto, they go on a helicopter tour of a heart shaped lagoon. Roberto is obviously a fan of the WWT and has seen the founder's of this blogs reactions to people like Break Dancer Mike, who waited too long to pull the L-card. It is not until after the credits roll that we get to see the best part of this date. Ali taking out some hidden aggression on a cocnut with a mechetti and Roberto's reaction of "whoa, I'll be sure not to piss you off"

Chris L get to go on a boat with Ali and instead of just packing his flippy floppies he brings his water socks!?!? Ali says that the date with Chris was "like a metaphor" for their relationship. "It was slow to develop, but if you just wait and giveit some time, kill a bunch of oysters and you may end up with a pearl necklace"

Finally, we get to the built up action packed climax... Frank confronts Ali. But before Frank can garner the power he must seek the advice of Chris Harrirson, who tell Frank, "This is Huge" Thanks Chris. I think Chris is bored with this episode too. Ali starts crying right after Franks say "we need to talk." This is really all you need to say in a break-up. Ali's crying already but Frank continues to talk at her, luckily this time he is fairly coherent. Even though its lame he's waited this long, it's hard to feel bad for someone who just spent two night in the fantasy suite with two different guys.

This episode shines a glaring light on my least favorite aspects of the show A) taking the bachelor/ette from a previous season's loser makes it hard to believe that the center piece of the show is that much of a catch. I'm a huge Ali fan, she's an exponentially better life mate than Jake (as we saw in The Fallout featuring Vienna), yeah she laughs a lot and I've had 'friends' that have broken up with girls for much less but for Frank to get this far and to opt out for an ex is not something that should happen.

B) WHY DON'T WE GET TO SEE MORNING AFTER FANTASY SUITE FOOTAGE??? No one even has to be in the room, just let us see who has disheveled the room more and let us draw our own conclusions.

Good new though, we seem to have a good men tell all on deck: Our fearless host tells TV guide the following.
"First of all, I don't know how much America will hear because we'll have to bleep out 90 percent of what was said. It got heated. I was pleasantly surprised it didn't take long for the guys to really open up about each other, whether it was Weatherman and Craig, or Kasey talking about his tattoos. They were very outspoken about Rated R's moves. And I can definitely tease we have a surprise guest and you're going to learn even more about that situation."


The special guest is almost certainly one of Rated-R's other girl friends. Can't wait for all the Canadians to be back, I've missed them.