The show begins with CEM II waking up with a . . . you guessed it! A black eye. Nanny Ashley says she wished she gave CEM II the black eye.
The first date was a helicopter ride out to Catalina Island with Chantal O. to find a little island love. The Bachelor continues the trend of putting the women in a situation where they have to face their worst fears. For Chantal, it's deep water. She seems to be more scared of her past divorce coming back to destroy her chances of becoming Chantal Womack.
CEM II says that she "deserves" the one-on-one date more than anyone. It's unclear why she deserves it. The producers quickly flashed back to Chantal's one-on-one date, but realized where their bread is buttered and went right back to CEM II. CEM II is having stress issues and thinks she may have beat herself up in the middle of the night. It's times like these I wish I had gone to med school and become a psychiatrist.
Back to Chantal's date. She locks up her position in the final 3. Liz thinks she may be a dark-horse for the next Bachelorette.
The group date was off to Dr. Drew's Love Line radio show with Mike "Not Adam Corolla." Dr. Drew is going to have a field day with this crowd. Supposedly, two of the women are already signed up for Celebrity Rehab next season. 3 out of the 4 episodes this season have had a therapist featured on the show...but who's counting?
Dr. Drew asked the gals who has cheated. In the NOT shocker of the century, Stacey the Bartender has cheated. But Brad says that it was all about honesty (but isn't cheating all about honesty?) . Paging Dr. Jason Seaver.
The date continued with some hot tubbin'. Dentist Ashley has feelings that are "erupting" with jealousy. This date then erupted into some good old fashioned Brad-stealing. This seems to further confirm that Brad is mandated to interrupt his one-on-one time when asked.
Flash sideways to the house, and CEM II gets the final date invite, but Chantal observes that every date card mentions "love" except for CEM II's. Chantal is quickly becoming a crowd favorite.
Hot tub update: Dentist Ashley is going mental and giving CEM II a run for her crazy money. Dentist Ashley moaned, groaned, and immatured her way out of a rose (first time in the English language "immature" has been properly used as a verb). Dentist Ashley's loss is Food Writer Britt's gain. Britt gets the rose.
Do a google image search for "immature dentist." This picture is #6:
CEM II's one-on-one date begins with the second helicopter of the episode. Brad is truly on the blades of love. (Interesting side note: of all the parents that have appeared on the Bachelor/ette, CEM II definitely talks about her child the least). CEM II and Brad are going to repel down the side of a building. I half-expected Joe Rogan to come out of nowhere and make them eat a live worm while repelling.
CEM II is proving to be a combination of Vienna (a little trashy), Deanna (very forward), Gia (plastic surgery), and Michelle (crazy). Bradmund is a sucker for her and she gets the rose. According to Brad, "this is an easy one." Maybe the producers don't have as much to do with CEM II's advancement as we thought.
Dr. Jamie the Aussie therapist was back to counsel Bradmund. Once again, Chris Harrison has been replaced by a professional (Liz points out that Harrison must have known that he would be in over his head with Bradmund's many issues).
The moment of the cocktail party was when Bradmund put his foot in his mouth and told Bad Shoes Rising that she will find someone someday. Then he had to backtrack quickly and say, "I mean me of course." A truly Womackian slip.
The rose ceremony began on the heels of Chantal having a minor meltdown, but Brad knew just what the doctor ordered and gave her a kiss.
There were no surprises tonight in the rose ceremony results. Stacey the Cheating Bartender honestly had to go home. Bad Shoes Rising got the boot too. Finally, the redhead (the only minority on the show), Shark Attack Lindsey, had to go. But at least she made her papa proud. Too bad we never even got to find out about those daddy issues.
Until next week, when the producers show no heart and send Emily to a race track.
Posts
If there is a God, or if the producers of this show have any... ANY BALLS, they would do a two-on-one date, with Emily, CEM II and their two daughters just to see what happens... my guess is that it won't happen, not because they haven't thought of it, but because the producers couldn't afford the insurance premiums due to the 35% likelihood that CEM II would convince CEM Jr. to seriously injure little-ricki if she is too cute and/or well-behaved.
ReplyDeleteI also like the CEM II breakdown, she is truly the archetype crazy B, possessing an exemplary amount of all wide range of qualities needed to be a crazy B (B stand for Bachelorette of course). If she was a football player, she'd have Jerry Rice's hands, Elway's Arm, Montana's Vision and Favre's cell phone.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if CEM II is vienna, I could see shaaantell o playing into our hands as the Ali character, Ali was the best example of the girl that speaks out the loudest about someone in the house isn't really into the actual relationship. The worst example of that was tanner p.
I love the other girls' reaction to the "gift basket" pre-rose ceremony 1:1 with Emily and Brad and how convinced they all were that Brad had planned it, hand selected the wine etc. The delusion of Brad planning any of these dates never fails to amaze. Hello, McFly, this is a reality TV show. There are more producers scripting and, um, prodicing this than there are bachelorettes vying for Brad's affection.
ReplyDeleteLizkarwags, very good point. I often don't know whether to be upset or laugh when the girls go on and on about how "Brad planned this all for me." Yes, Brad usually takes helicopters to Catalina. That's just a regular thursday for Brad. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteThis episode really highlights why the Bachelor is a better show than the Bachelorette. The interviews with the women talking trash about other women cannot be matched by the men. Because I think the women are more susceptible (ducking empties, watch out Angela!) to the producer's gimmicks than the men. Take a woman on a date to a private island via helicopter = love. Take a guy on the bachelorette to a drag racing date and he just wants to know what the next date is going to be.
We are nearing the end and we have some ladies approaching the Gaston/Mark levels of Jillian's season. If you don't remember, there was a late season 2 on 1 date where the audience knew NOTHING of either man.
What do we know about Sporty Spice Marisa, Alli or Lisa at this stage in the season? They have given us nothing; hence, the lame nicknames. All we know is Marissa is from Florida and loves sports. That could probably describe 4,000,000 people. If you say that her name is also "Marissa," it may get narrowed to 5500 people. All we know about Alli is that someone complained about her big butt and that must have caused her to accentuate a different area of her body at a rather young age. And while I think Lisa is cute, she looks about 16 and I can't get past that. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why Lisa is on this show trying to marry Brad.
We know 6 Feet Under isn't winning and the Dentist took herself out of the running. The Blond Food Writer is on her last legs. Emily is becoming the next Bachelorette. This is going to be a threeway race to the finish with the Nanny, Chantal and CEM II scrapping until the end.
Tim, I googled "Immature Dentist" and Ashley was #6 yesterday. Today, she slipped to #7.
ReplyDeleteGoogle knows you guys way too well, or maybe I don't google bachelorette related things enough, the 'immature dentist' photo does not appear. Maybe cus I'm using safari??
ReplyDeleteThis picture does though: http://tinyurl.com/4u3vxnl
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I found your blog, but I'm cracking up at your recaps! I also thought you'd like to know that your pic of "immature dentist" is #2!
ReplyDelete