The Dentist in the Teapot
Dentist Ashley H. begins the first one-on-one of the season (after dirty looks from Nanny Ashley who used to be called Hot Nanny but the ugly Nanny has since been discarded) after the date card reads "the road to love is a wild ride." "Wild" should have been replaced with "scary" because there was a deserted, dirt road with no lights. The dirt road gives way to a sketchy carnival set up in the woods as Mrs. Dugan mutters, "oh, much less freaky now." I thought to myself that we may see the first Murder on the Bachelor; but no, it was simply a terrifying beginning to a great date.
This date offers a glimpse into the transformation Brad has undergone these last few years. The crack staff at WWT has uncovered some shocking before and after picture of Brad to illustrate the changes.
Old Brad
New Brad
Ashley confesses to the camera that she is falling for the Bachelor and ABC's tricks.I roll my eyes as they cut to Brad as he does his best Forrest Gump: "I like this girl. I like her a lot." Slap! Hand hits forehead. Brad and Ashley share their respective Daddy issues and it looks like Brad could go from choosing no one his last season to wrapping it up on date one. Dentist Ashley secures the rose and safety for another week.
The Fake Movie Date where Everyone Kisses the Bachelor/ette
This has become an early season standard for our friends at ABC and we take the ladies on a contrived drama roller coaster. We have Kickin Keltie, Daddy has a car dealership Chantal, Twilight (Madison), Olive Garden Hostess Melissa, Dugan's pick to go home every week until she actually does Kimberly (there is nothing else that will be said about her because she is invisible to the cameras and microphones that help make up this show), Manscaper Raichal, Sporty Spice Marissa, Food Writer Britt, next Bachelorette Emily (has it ever been more obvious this early in a season who will be the next Bachelor/ette?), Bartender Stacey, Young Ally, 6 Feet Under Shawntel, Michelle "don't call me Crazy Eyes who incidentaly was also named 'Michelle'" and the very cute Lisa.
While I did include all the women, this group date was about one woman's tragic meltdown over her 3rd 30th birthday. "Don't Call me Crazy" Michelle mentioned it so many times that other blogs started this countdown: Michelle's Birthday Count.
The fake scenes were largely unmemorable but for Food Writer Britt's getting into character and really going at it with Brad after talking to the camera about how she's a prude. My other favorite is the wrap party that has food and booze and you know none of these waif thin woman eat....except, of course, Food Writer Britt who is furiously chomping down and taking notes.
There is some background drama between Olive Garden Melissa and the Manscaper. Don't Call me Crazy Michelle is also creating some drama but is cute enough to get a pass and a rose from Brad on her....BIRTHDAY!!!
Brad's Train date with Jackie
Artist Jackie is a Mrs. Dugan favorite to go far and she had an early introduction to Bachelor/ette Favorite Neil Lane during her one-on-one. Pampered with dresses, spa treatment, jewelry and new sophisticated Brad, Jackie had "one of the best dates I've been on." Mrs. Dugan, as she struggled shopping online for back-ordered items, wants to know what other dates Jackie may have been on that topped this one.
Brad does have one concern. Is Jackie like the old Brad? Bradmund Freud may get old this season psychoanalyzing all the girls.
Jackie calms Brad's concerns over her Id and secures the rose.
The Rose Ceremony
Melissa explains that she quit her job to chase her dream for love. The Manscaper would never give up her promising career, nor would she give up fighting with Melissa. Let's hope the Applebees in Lake Worth is hiring because the Olive Garden has moved on Melissa. And so will you and the Manscaper as Brad tries to eliminate the Drama.
WWT favorites Ali and Roberto were welcomed to the Rose Night to help Brad give out an early one. They, like Dugan, fancy Emily and she secures the rose.
So, heading into the rose ceremony we have roses for the Dentist, the Crazy, the Artist and the Coal Miner's daughter.
Sticking around for next week after getting roses will be:
- Daddy has a car dealership Chantal
- No Date Sarah
- Ally
- Dugan's Guarantee to leave until she does Kimberly
- 6 Feet Under Shawntel
- Bartender Stacy
- Nanny Ashley
- Twilight (Madison)
- Lisa
- Sporty Spice Marissa
- Bad Shoes Meghan
- Malibu Shark Attach Lindsey (Mrs. Dugan assured me she looks like the girl from MSA)
- Food Writer Britt
Who joins the drama twins? Keltie is kicked to the curb.
Until next week.
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While her rap skills were horrific and her costume for the fake movie was unflattering at best, I find it simply appauling that he booted Keltie, especially after getting rid of both drama queens and giving Crazy Eyes Michelle The Second (C.E.M. #II)a pre-rose ceremony rose. That would mean only Twilight was the only obvious 'producer hold over' during the rose ceremony. I need more insight into why neither ABC nor Brad wanted her around anymore... plus you have to think she gives the some or maybe a better exit interview in two or three weeks, right?
ReplyDeleteAlso epic: C.E.M. #2's in pool 'i just got the rose' dance and post event 'rose in mouth' interview.
ReplyDeleteVery good point re C.E.M. #2's rose dance. Waving the rose in front of 14 girls that didn't receive it was an all time moment.
ReplyDeleteSorry I am late to the party but artist Jackie reminds me of becca from ND. Took me two episodes to make the connection but I think she does. However this is coming from the guy who thought Vienna looked like Liz. Sorry liz. I admit now it was Vienna.
ReplyDelete