Cool your jets, fellow
Bachelor/ette fans…we have quite a while to wait for Neil Lane. We first have to spend
some quality time with our finalists: Ambivalent Becca and All-In Whitney. And
we have our heartsick Faux Farmer falling in love with both. This season has disappointed
but the finale did not. We have drama, tears of joy, sadness, Neil Lane, Vin
Diesel, and the most amazing garage I have ever seen.
The girls settled in Dubuque,
Iowa as the closest city of any import. Distance from Arlington? One hour
and fifteen minutes. Arlinton, YOU KEEP GETTING WORSE!
All-In Whitney
Whitney is leaving no stone unturned. Within the first five minutes, Whitney has expressed her love for
farmers, farms, the Hawkeyes, the Cyclones (kidding, no one roots for the Cyclones),
Dan Gable, John Denver, the movie Son-in-Law,
etc etc etc
The Sisters' Act interrogation
begins. Basically, it boils down to one topic. Arlington, Iowa.
Whitney has all the right
answers.
“Love is more important”
“Can be a nurse anywhere”
“Excited to also have parents
again”
Yikes, just give her the final
rose already. As much as the sisters approved, Chris’ mom was even more
on board. Mrs. Dugan and I wonder if this is the best family meeting ever?
My personal highlight? DID YOU
SEE HIS GARAGE?!?!? His garage is bigger than my home. Inside said Garage Mahal, an interesting discussion was taking place between Chris and the male members of his family. Chris' brothers-in-law urged he make the safe pick with Whitney instead of hard-to-get Becca.
Ambivalent Becca
You know, it’s funny having your
own blog about the Bachelor/ette. You remember little details that make your
spouse question why certain grocery or honey do list items are forgotten but
the smallest Bachelor/ette details get remembered. Becca pops out of the SUV and the infographic at the bottom shows age 26, chiropractic assistant from San Diego. This is odd. I
remember she was 25 when the show began. I checked the opening blog entry and
confirmed my suspicion.
Regardless, it’s time to meet the family and
the Soules Sisters all have children on their lap (HINT HINT, Hugs Becca!) THIS
IS WHAT WE DO HERE!
The sisters want to know where Becca’s
head is at. And Becca didn’t hold back. She isn’t willing to move to Arlington.
She wants to proceed long distance. She also appears to not fully understand at
what point we are at in the season: “If Whitney’s further ahead, does our
relationship have to end?”
UMMM….YES! That’s exactly what
happens. Fleiss & Co. demand roses and marriage.
Chris One on One Time with Becca
As some of you may remember, I
thoroughly enjoyed when Juan Pablo would go off scrip. Becca goes full Juan
Pablo in the finale: “I can’t make any promises on when I could be ready to
move and pick up my life…”
Chris is distraught. He is
thinking this is NOT how this was supposed to go. God forbid Becca wanting to
get married and have kids on her own schedule. Then comes, not the QOTN, but the
Quote of the Series from Chris. QOTS!
“Why don’t you love me?” I
stopped listening here because I was laughing out loud for the rest of their
time together…I love you Bachelor/ette.
Date with Whitney
Whitney continues to bring a
strong commitment game. She is discussing “our kids” and how beautiful
Arlington is. She is seriously all in. She loves being domestic and prefers
Arlington to Bali. We get in, Whitney, we get it.
Neil Lane Comes To Heat Up Arlington
NEIL FUCKING LANE!!!
Becca’s weird style continues
with the red velvet dress and Chris lets her down easy. He simply states that
its not fair for either to take a leap of faith at this point.
Commercial update: Did I just see Vin Diesel? Yes. Yes I did. The Bachelor
finale included a trailer for Furious 7. Seriously. What a night!
What’s going to happen when Chris
proposes? Whitney’s head might explode! He does. It doesn’t. Still…what a
night!
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