The Bachelor Finale: Two Months Late

I will never write this finale recap in a proper form, so I present to you, my unedited notes from when I watched the show.  Now our loyal fans get to see how the sausage is made...

Will he choose Lauren, or JoJo, or Neil

3 hours.  Jesus H.

Lb big favorite in the crowd.

Neil Lane is in the house!!!!  And so is Ben's pastor.

These ladies wear some small jean shorts. It's like an 80s Rock video.  But the shirts look like a renaissance faire

So many solo videos.

Most indecisive finale ever.

Ben's mom's facial expressions are the best.

lb meets ben's parents.
You have to be a moron to go on this show.  Like a real idiot. Low iq
Ben's mom referenced the "last show"
Ben is "seemingly perfect". Oh boy.
Lb holding hands. Never held my in laws hands, and I've known them for 19 years
Ben obviously wants to be an actor

Jojo meets the parents
Describing their date on Vegas.  And a helicopter ride
Is she more genuine?  She just seems smarter.
Jojo is front runner

Dad says jojo considers Ben her best friend.

Sneaky religious talk.

Ben's pastor just sits there reading the bible.

Last Date Lb
Always on a catamaran.
Haven't been tested with Lauren.
Not a lot of reciprocation from Ben
"No matter what happens, you've made me a better person"

Last date trump
Seems way more into her
Best rship trump has ever been in
Very non commital
Feeling so much happiness and fear.
Ben confessed to telling lb he loves her.  Good call.

Neil lane!!
Introduces himself
Ben still doesn't know. Neil is shocked and appalled.  Even Neil can't handle this bullshit.
Hope diamond
The ring offered clarity. "I know who it is."
One big Kay advertisement.

No limos in Jamaica. Only helicopters.

Trump was first out of the helicopter

Thought she was going to pass out.
I had it all wrong

Difficult to put on a suit with a wireless microphone pack in the rear end

Phone call to mr bushnell to ask permission. Wish he was calling Juan Pablo. Or pavelka.