The Bachelorette Episode 5: Keep it 100

So after Mrs. Wags dubbed Dean "90210," we started talking about how big of a fan she was of 90210.  Unlike Mrs. Wags, I have only seen a few episodes from the final few seasons.  In order to fully appreciate 90210 Dean's nickname, we decided we would watch all 292 episodes of "9-0."  Currently, we are on episode six and have already tackled cheating on quizzes, racism, shoplifting, and alcohol abuse.  Why didn't I watch this show in 1990?  Oh yeah, I was too busy watching every Will Clark at bat and Saved By The Bell.  Maybe we start a second blog recapping every 9-0 episode?  You with me Dugan?

Okay, enough about my hero Dylan, it's time to start hours three and four of the Bachelorette.  For this much Bach in one week, you know there's whiskey and ice cream.  

We resume the show with the 2-on-1 date with Kenny Boom and Robert E. Lee (remember, Dugan nicknamed this guy BEFORE anyone knew he was a racist).  

Fleiss and Co. love to have the 2-on-1 dates in the middle of nowhere.  It could be a glacier, but it's often in the wilderness and only reachable by helicopter or train.  

Rachel described the date as "informative."  That's a nice way of saying, "I am scared of both of you."     Rachel sent Robert E. Lee home, but did not give the rose to Kenny Boom.  She wanted to spend a little more time with him.  Stupidly, Kenny Boom did not get in the helicopter with Rachel and confronted Robert E. one more time.  

GET IN 

(In case it was not clear, I did all the artwork on that helicopter picture.)

In the evening portion of the date, guess who got the rose?

This guy

Mid-Episode Rose Ceremony

The rose ceremony was at the "Losby Gods Manor."  I expected a couple surprise contestants to show up...

I miss Matthew

Josiah Satz came in extra confident a la Jack Stone.  Remember what happened to Jack Stone last night?  It's going to happen to Satz.

Joining Nip Tuck, Kenny Boom, Will Smith with roses was:

90210 Dean

Eric No Ties

Peter Badger

Russian Alex

Adummy

Happy Feet Matt

Goodbye Josiah Satz (as predicted) and Anthony (surprise). 

The group left Oslo and headed to Denmark.  Mrs. Wags and I were there fairly recently.  Pretty awesome place.   

1-on-1 Date: Eric No Ties

After much complaining and theorizing that Rachel is not interested in black guys, Eric finally got his solo date.  The date was in Copenhagen.  

After a short boat ride, they did some group hot tubbing.  Mrs. Wags and I did not do that.  We were too busy here.

The date continued at Tivoli, a kind of strange amusement park.  We went there and saw a Bellagio-style water show of the Nutcracker.  Very Euro.

Eric No Ties seems like a pretty cool dude, but I have a hard time believing she's going to go for a personal trainer.  On the other hand, there is Bachelorette precedent for picking a personal trainer.  

We know our Bachelorette history

Eric No Ties got a well-deserved rose.

Group Date: 90210 Dean, Kenny Boom, Nip Tuck, Russian Alex, Peter Badger, Happy Feet Matt, and Adummy

The date started with a viking ship rowboat trip.  When they arrived at their destination, they met with "Tom and Morton," viking fighting instructors.  The guys put on viking outfits, but they looked more like these guys:

They call me Tim

Adummy and Kenny Boom fought in the championship round.  Thankfully for Kenny's wrestling reputation, he was able to beat the guy that carries around a doll.

In the evening portion of the date, Nip Tuck continued dominating the competition, wooing Rachel and wearing a leather jacket.  Unbeatable.  

Back at the house, Will said he has rarely dated black girls because of where he grew up and where he went to college.  

Kenny Boom expressed concern for being away from his daughter while not being a front runner.  Kenny wanted Rachel to keep it 100.  Rachel, willing to keep it 100, told Kenny Boom he should probably go home.  

Peter Badger got the group date rose.  

1-on-1 Date: Will Smith

Will and Rachel went to Sweden.  As they arrived, a guitarist serenaded them, they played viking croquet, and they got baked goods.  Everything was going great until Will wasn't all that interested in touching/hugging/kissing Rachel.  This is All-For-Wells all over again.  Know your Bachelor history!

In the evening portion, they had dinner at a classic Bachelor extra-small-table-in-a-giant-room.  Will needed to turn up the romance, but dinner in the Carlsberg beer brewery did not light his fire.  Rachel continued to keep it 100 and sent Will home.  

Rose Ceremony #2

Thankfully, Mr. Harrison made the trip to Europe.  What would we do without the six words he offered this week?  He's marginalized, and I don't like it.

Joining Eric No Ties and Peter Badger with roses...

Nip Tuck Bryan
Happy Feet Matt (best hairline still on the show!)
90210 Dean
Russian Alex
Adummy

WHOA.  I actually had already written in Russian Alex.  A truly surprising ending.

Okay, it's been four hours this week.  Let's take a break and watch some 90210.