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| DeMario |
DeMario is back and apologizing his ass off. The guys in the house are worried and acknowledge that The Mario is a good talker. He seemingly does everything right, apologize, admit fault, and falls on his sword.
Rachel pulls a Sweet Brown and tells her she "Aint Got Time For That."
Her actual words were worse detailing The Mario's actions at the basketball court being confronted with an ex-girlfriend: “That was a boy. I’m looking for a man.”
We advance to the rose ceremony which had few highlights until Fight No. 1.
- Elmo brought some silly, giant hands.
- Russan Alex talks with Rachel while poorly executing a rubix cube.
- Wrestler Kenny is playing the kid card.
Then we get the Sex Pistol v. Whaaaboooom! Fight
Whaboom tells Rachel that Sex Pistol stood over his bed eating a banana as he slept. Pretty odd accusation but Sex Pistol does seem a little unhinged. But Sex Pistol provides the ultimate Bachelor defense:
Who gets a rose?
Nip Tuck
Firefighter Bryce
Eric
Anthony
Will Smith (Welcome to Miami)
Elmo
JackStone
Happy Feet Matt
Russian Alex
Adummy
Wrestler Kenny who provided a great response to the rose offer: “How Kenny say no” BOOM.
Zoolander (Male Model)
Robert E. Lee
IggyNotDiggy
Bad Kid Fred
TeachMeHowtToDiggy
Goodbye Bizarro Juan Pablo, Whaaabooom and Sex Pistol
Fight No. 1: Sex Pistol v. Whaaabooom
Sex Pistol opens the fight: “You’re a wannabe comedian”
Quixotically, Whaaboom responds: “It’s not about winning. It’s about the world man.” Well, that's settled. One of them said “Get back to your garbage clown life” but it could really fit either guy. The saddest part for me was that Sex Pistol had a better WHABOOM! than Mr. Whaboom in a mocking scene.
The Ellen Group Date with Nip Tuck, Elmo, Peter Badger, Russian Alex, Will Smith and Bad Kid Fred
The reverse sexism is in full effect this episode and the men have to strip off their clothes and dance for Ellen's female audience. Russian Alex enjoyed himself a little too much. After they got naked and played never have I ever, I wondered if the Hildbold Brothers are now show runners for the Bacelor/ette,
The most revealing part of the date was Bad Kid Fred admitting that he was sick of the references to his Fred/Rachel camp counselor days from decades past. Bad Kid Fred is determined to kiss his crush and has a plan. He's going to ask her.
Bad Kid Fred: "Is this the time I can kiss you”
Rachel: “NOW I FEEL AWKWARD”
The kiss happens.
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| Fred's Feelings |
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| Rachel's Feelings |
Bad Kid Fred gets the boot and Russian Alex gets the rose.
Urban Cowboy with Anthony
Rachel and Anthony go shopping (on horses for some reason) in Beverly Hills and work to put Ivanka’s Miami sweatpants shopping to shame. They get western outfits, cupcakes out of a vending machine, and the horse make a mess out of a store.
Rachel: “This is the lifestyle. I could get use to this.”
WHAT? YOU COULD GET USED TO RIDING HORSES ON RODEO DRIVE?
Anthony talks family at dinner and secures the rose.
Fight No. 2: Mud Wrestling Group Date with Zoolander, 90210 Dean, Adummy, Wrestler Kenny, Firefighter Bryce, Robert E. Lee, Jack Stone and Eric
First off, Rachel brings back some girls from last season: Raven, Ivanka, Warrior Jasmine, Dolphin. The girls pull up to a bar where the guys are told to take off their clothes and mud wrestle. Jack Stone says what everyone is thinking: "This is pretty much (Wrestler) Kenny’s thing.”
Winners Bold and Underlined
Round 1
Zoolander v. Firefghter Bryce
90210 Dean v. Eric
Kenny v. Jack Stone
Robert E. Lee v. Adummy
Round 2
Kenny v. Robert E. Lee.
Firefighter Bryce v. Kenny
Championship
Bryce v. Kenny
In an upset, Bryce knocked off the wrestler. However, some expectations were met. Zoolander’s hair remained perfect.
Fight No. 3 is at the Rose Ceremony with Eric taking on IggyNotDiggy and Robert E. Lee. Luckily for you, Wags will have the breakdown next week.
Posts
" 'It’s not about winning. It’s about the world man.' Well, that's settled." This pretty much sums up the Bachelor/ette.
ReplyDeleteRachel is making an incredibly strong push to be the best Bachelorette ever. Her dispatching of The Mario was spot on. Though the competition isn't all that tough, I think she will go down as the greatest by the end of this.
What was that mud made out of? When it dried, the guys looked like they might suffocate. Also, Kenny losing that match was embarrassing, but it's probably a good thing no one broke an arm or leg.
There's something off about the Russian guy, but I have to admit that I have been paying closer attention this week about whether people look at my right eye or left eye when they talk to me.
Anthony seems like a pretty normal dude, except for the small earrings he wears in both ears.