The Bachelorette Episode IV: Four is for Fuck It.

We begin the episode with a review of the Bentley drama which will be discussed ad nauseum through the show. Harrison tells the boys to pack their bags as a change in scenery is needed. The Dental Student and her gaggle of men are heading to Phuket, Thailand for two One-on-ones and a Group Date. As for our introduction to Thailand, I cannot be the only one who thought that first women was going to give Ashley a manicure. Turns out she was the concierge and helped Ashley plan her dates during what appeared to be monsoon season in Fuck It.

Greek Groban and the Manny Pacquiao Boat Captain


After Pacquiao cancels the boat outing for Ashley and Greek Groban, this is what happened next:



Ok, full disclosure, Dugan couldn't pay attention to the discussions between Greek Groban and Ashley as it bored me to tears. I actually read this article, seriously, on the status of local drought conditions. The only redeeming part of the date is the very practical and wise advice received from this guy:

 When asked for the secret to his long marriage, Long Duck Dong told them to forgive and forget and not to try and win in the relationship. Please be aware that no platitudes offered by Fleiss & Co. will match this advice for this or any season of the show. Despite my boredom, Greek Groban thought the day was fun and Ashley said, "today was perfect." A late night ocean romp secures the Rose and you could say Greek Groban raised Ashley up.





Group Date brings a Tsunami of Help to Thailand


The rest of the men (Winemaker Ben, Cupcake, the only Dentist on the show, Mickey, Adam West, LL Ben, Nick, Lucas Oil, Cell Phone Bill and Solar Ryan try to make the world a better place sprucing up an orphanage in Thailand. The men did a great job painting and supplying the kids with much needed lacrosse nets. Solar Ryan is becoming the Vienna of this season - the frontrunner that is wearing on everyone's patience. Ashley is concerned that the guys are paying too much attention to their service work and not enough to her. This truly highlights her amazing lack of depth and self-esteem. Winemaker Ben draws a mural of an elephant and secures the rose. 


El Douche and the Dental Student


Ames starts the date with a long distance jog after Ashley waves - showing the producers are putting in the time with him. I wanted to dislike El Douche but this date rehabilitated him in Dugan's eyes. And El Douche (sorry, but the nickname stays) had the always important Dugan Quote of the night. Standing on the front of the boat, Ashley offered, "I feel like we're on the Titanic." Ames quickly responded, "Let's hope not." ZINGGGGGGGGG. Moonwalk. Moonwalk. Moonwalk. See below for Ashley's dream and Ames' nightmare.

Ames led a very cool kayaking trip and continued to rehab his image for this WWT writer. I think I was falling for Ames by the end of the date. Ashley was similarly convinced and offered Ames the rose.


Rose Ceremony Bullet Points

• West shows up for some one-on-one time late in the episode and Ashley fears she can't replace his deceased wife. Ouch - how do you answer that one? 
• Lucas Oil reveals he was previously married . . . to a woman!
• Solar Ryan as Vienna continues, and the only Dentist on the show tells him to his face
• Solar Ryan explains that he is always happy because our soldiers are overseas taking mortar shots. Solar Ryan will now be renamed Non Sequitor Ryan.
• Solar Ryan is not too happy, he's "bursting with a lot of love in his chest." Ok, sweet. Makes perfect sense.
• Greek Groban, Winemaker Ben and El Douche are safe.
• Harrison and Ashley discuss the need for an extra rose as she has only one sure-fire exit worthy man.
• And the roses go to . . .
• Lucas Oil, Solar Ryan, Cupcake, Nick, Mickey, Dentist, Cell Phone Bill and LL Ben.
• In Ashley's final ruling, West was dismissed with prejudice.