The Bachelor Pad II: Setting the Scene

Chris Harrison explains that the Bachelor Pad is the "home to the men and women who did not find lasting love on the Bachelor or Bachelorette." To the fans and friends of WWT, BP is simply awesome. Fleiss & Co. do a great job of mixing fan and blog favorites as well as enemies. But 3 hours was tough to handle.

The Enemies List:

• Rated R from Bachelorette Ally's season doesn't want to see his enemy Kasey. He will see Kasey.
• Kasey from Ally's season doesn't want to see former Bachelorette Jake. Kasey will see Jake. 
• Jake wants to see Vienna, his former fiance, who doesn't want to see him. It will happen.
• Vienna also doesn't want to see Gia from Jake's season and BP1. That will happen.
• Holly doesn't want to see Breakdancing Mike. Whoops.

The Rest:

• Dentist Blake, El Douche and Cell Phone Bill from the recently completed season of the Bachelorette
• Erica from Lorenzo's season who explains what won't get in her way of winning: "my morals" 
• Momma Ella from Jake's season got more attractive and relayed an awful story about witnessing her mother's murder at the hands of her step-father
• Graham from Deanna's season
• Young Alli from Brad's season? I don't really remember what season she was in. I remember this: From Ohio with a well endowed personality and was kept around late in a season without ever getting much one on one time. And once she got it, she was cut. Doesn't say much for her real personality.
• Crazy Melissa. All I remember is bat shit crazy.
• Kirk from Alli's season - everyone should remember that home date with the taxidermy in his father's basement.

Highlights from the Meet & Greet

• Gia explains that "Vienna is so skank in my book." 
• Vienna described winning on the Bachelor as a "lose-lose."
• Kasey bringing the heat: "I'm going to take a Jake and wipe my Pavelka." BOOM. Roasted.
• Rated R breaks it down: "Love's a waste of time. I'm here for the money."
• Holly likes Dentist Blake because "he uses really big words." 
• Formerly engages couple Breakdancing Mike and Holly's meet was a.w.k.w.a.r.d. and great for the viewer.
• Ella thinks drama surrounds Vienna and would not want to be her. Mind you, this is the same woman who is a single mother who saw her own mother murdered. I am not trying to make light of Ella's awful tragedy - only highlight how awful it is to be Vienna.
• Jake & Vienna's A.W.K.W.A.R.D. meetup blows Holly and Mike's out of the water.
• Jake to Vienna, "You look nice. And I met Kasey."
• Then they discuss the weather. Dugan made mental note never again to discuss weather in a social setting.

The Straddling Swing Competition

Not much to discuss here outside of the following:

• Cell Phone Bill gets Gia much to most men's jealousy and promptly drops her.
• Kirk gets stuck with Erica and his herculean effort carried them far
• Michelle Money defied gravity
• In a tension filled ending, Jake & Artist Jackie knocked off Vienna and Kasey to win immunity.
• Vienna and Kasey flee to fight.
• Vienna: "I kind of expected a little more from you." OUCH. Fighting ensues.
• Vienna: "we made a promise we wouldn't fight on camera." Guffaw.
• Kasey in an attempt to make up: "I love you more than peanut butter cookies."
• Mrs. Dugan: "I need her to drown."

Jake & Jackie's Night Out

• Jake has fans. Turns out they are 11 year olds.
• BP2 turns Survivor at the House with alliances forming.
• Jake is still a sociopath.
• Dugan is more convinced than ever that Jake is the real life Patrick Bateman.
• Back at the house, C.E.M.II thinks Vienna should confront Jake.
• Vienna explains to C.E.M.II that Jake is a book that she finished . . . and would like to burn. Ok, then. 

Jake & Gia's Sit Down

• Jake's giving a rose to Vienna. Dugan doesn't understand. 
• The girls in the house don't like Gia. Dugan understands. Jealousy's a bitch.
• Gia & Jake discuss chess strategy and Virgil's Aeneid.

• Jake gives immunity to Vienna and apologizes for never getting a table at Dorsia.
• There is an idea of a Jake Pavelka; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real Jake: only an entity, something illusory. And though he can hide his cold gaze, and you can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense your lifestyles are probably comparable... He simply is not there.
• Gia bluffs Kasey very well and secures an alliance with him. Then I found the following picture showing where Gia learned her skills.

Rose Ceremony

• Rated R. doesn't like Kasey walking around like King-ding-a-ling at the rose ceremony.
• Dugan can't resist this classic:

• I won't go through all the rose recipients but Erica was my favorite, mainly for her cross promotion for ABC's Dancing With the Stars:

• Young Ally and Rated R get the boot for playing both sides.
• Until next time, my friends.