Bachelor Pad 2, Episode II: "We're having a yacht of fun"

Good news: There will be a recap of the episode for our faithful readers. Bad news: It's written by Dugan. We'll do this thing bullet point style again and get you the highlights as I saw them. Please add your own in the comments because I don't watch BP nearly as closely as the Bachelor/ette. The episode begins with Kasey as the Batchelor Godfather choosing who lives or dies.

Just a heads up to our fans. When writing your Bachelor blog at work, be careful with google image search. Because my "Kasey Bachelor" image search prompted a "Casey Batchelor" image search and may lead to Dugan meeting with HR this afternoon. Considering Dugan is HR, I have not decided how to punish myself yet. But let's get back to the episode and the competition for this week's roses

Egg Toss Paint Ball

 The competition was basically who could break an egg on the opposite sex's back. Since Erica was the largest target, she got hit a lot. Personally, I never thought Erica looked better:

Before telling you who won, my favorite parts of the competition:

• Our boy Chris Harrison guessing who they were aiming at. Say artist Jackie missed badly when asked to hit the "dumbest guy." Chris would confidantly volunteer who they were aiming at, "Oh, she was going for Cell Phone Bill with that one." Ouch, Harrison.
• Break Dancing Michael turns into Lee Smith with the overhand fireball drilling Erica.
• Break Dancing Michael and Olive Graden Melissa (remember, she's a hostess at a central florida restaurant) win safety and the right to go on dates.

Breakdancing Mike's Scary Date

And it has nothing to do with the haunted Linda Vista Hospital. He took Erica!!! That would scare the shit out of any guy. But in addition to Erica, Mike decided to breakdance with ex-fiance Holly and Michelle Boozer. This is a hilarious foursome.

• Mike and Holly only broke up 2.5 months before BP2
• Mike and Erica try to contact the dead
• Michelle and Holly discuss whether "there's still something there" between Mike and Holly
• Mike and Holly discuss the timing issues that affected their relationship
• The ex, Holly, gets a rose and safety.

Olive Garden Melissa's a yacht of fun

Ok, I have used Kasey the Frog's pun twice now. It was incredible. Almost good enough to lessen my hate for him. He is simply awful. But he is with Vienna so he's got that going for him. Kasey the Frog and Olive Garden Melissa discuss a rose-safety swap until Blake the Dentist, Male Gigolo appears.

Dentist Blake tries to explain the date:

Blame it on the goose

Got you geeling loose

Blame it on the petron

Got you in the zone

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol

Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol

The Dentist is in t-r-o-u-b-l-e. He did not heed warnings about Melissa, secured the rose and sealed his fate. Despite Melissa's desire to rehab her image on BP2, we all know what's going to happen. This. will. not. end. well.

Rose ceremony drama

Chris Harrison enters the Kasey the Frog controlled rose ceremony and drops a bomb: Jake's not leaving tonight as two girls will exit. Kasey & Vienna threaten to leave the show because of the producer's "cheating." Mrs. Dugan brings a strong thought about Vienna: "She's so bad she almost makes Jake likeable." Mind you, Mrs. Dugan is no less convinced that Jake is Patrick Bateman incarnate. And for the rest:

• Blake's getting to see the full Melissa
• "I've been carrying him. I've been winning competitions for us." (There have been 2. She won 1.)
• Kirk and Ella are very normal compared to the rest of the people on the show
• Kasey the Frog is flailing as Don Corleone
• Michelle Boozer tries to convince Jake to leave. Humorous.
• Gia bails after Graham sells her out to the Bachelor Don.

Ames & the Artist

Ames & Jackie's exit was straight out of Hollywood. Sometimes Fleiss & Co. knock it out of the park. That's why some of their cheaper stunts annoy me. They have the ability to do great work (see making Don Kasey the Frog look ridiculous the entire episode) but they can also fall flat at times (egg competition). But Ames choosing Jackie over a chance at $250,000.00 was pretty smooth by Dugan's standards. WWT wishes them luck and continues to apologize for your unfortunate nickname, El Douche (but did you see those red pants?).

Line of the Night: "I think it's safe to say that we won Bachelor Pad 2."

Awwww. Puppies.