No, silly, I'm not talking the Sopranos style end to last week. But the Stallone inspired cliffhanger leaving Jake in the balance:
Jake loses his grip and Fleiss & Co. can only extend his run into the first few minutes of episode IV.
Kissing Competition
Michelle bows out citing morals.
MICHELLE BOWS OUT CITING MORALS. Let's just move on before Dugan's head explodes. Ella, the other single mother, has no such qualms. Holly is blindfolded first and most of the guys respect Breakdancing Michael's dibs on his former fiance and give innocent pecks. For today's WWT math lesson, 1 US peck = 0.25 US bushels. If the other guys were going for pecks, Dentist Blake stepped up his game with a bushel or two. And for the rest:
- Momma Ella brings home the rose for some "baby making kisses."
- Erica was giving it her all
- Kasey's breathe turned off the women
- Blake had no fear until it came to Vienna
- Blake and Ella get roses and ones to give out
- Ella takes teammate Kirk on a date with a red ferari to the other house in the Bachelor stable.
- Kirk rehashes his life threatening mold story.
- This story falls on deaf ears with the authors of WWT because this is an untouched photo of the house Wags and I lived in during college:
- Kirk got sick, lost 20 lbs and dropped out of school. I know A LOT of guys who got sick often, gained 20 lbs and dropped out of school. Oh, and they don't complain about it on national television.
- Especially to a women who trumps your bad "cold" during college with the ol' "I watched my step dad murder my mother when I was 3."
- There are NO WINNERS when Kirk whines about his sickness.
- Back at the house, Erica is giving Blake a massage and I would rather not discuss more since many people read this blog while eating breakfast.
WWT's Having Fun With Wikipedia
Mount St. Melissa is an active stratovolcano located in Orange County, Florida, in the Southeast region of the United States. She is 96 miles (154 km) south of Sanity, Anywhere and 50 miles (80 km) northeast of Lucid, Thought. Mount St. Melissa takes its English name from the British diplomat Lord St Crazy, a friend of producer Mike Fleiss who wisely cast her in a previous season of the Bachelor. The volcano is located in the Bachelor/ette collection of shows and is part of the the reason the United States will not be a superpower in the near future, a segment of the Reality Ring of Fire that includes over 160 active volcanoes on a myriad of television programs. This volcano is well known for its behavioral explosions and psychiatric flows.
Mount St. Melissa is most notorious for her catastrophic eruption on August 29, 2011, at 8:32 pm EST[2] which was the craziest and most career destructive volcanic event in the history of the United States. Fifty-seven people were brought to tears; 250 snorted, 47 immediately texted "LOL", and one Dugan immediately requested she be made the next Bachelorette.
- Blake made an awful, early game decision to play with Melissa.
- He tried to cut his ties and Mt. Saint Melissa erupted
- Blake chose Mike's former fiance Holly for his one-on-one
- Melissa calls Blake a dictator ...I...can't...resist...the...temptation
IT'S MUAMMAR AL BLAKE!!!
Muammar and Holly Go Skiing
The two have an obvious budding connection and Mike sits back at the pad not wanting them to fall in love…
- Melissa does a terrible job of trying to console breakdancing Mike by calling his former fiance a hoe and Muammar a Don Juan.
- Now that Holly is into another guy, Mike tries to make his move (good timing, Mike!).
<<< I interrupt the WWT recap to bring you the funniest moment from ABC last night. While announcing the next cast for Dancing with the 'Stars,' David Arquette was billed as “King of the Big Screen.” If you were given 2,000 guesses to who is "King of the Big Screen?" would you have reached Mr. Cox?">>>
Rose Ceremony:
- Safe: Blake, Holly, Kirk, Ella
- Kasey says the 250,000.00 prize is for "my grandma to live."
- Michael and Holly create the Brad & Emilyesque date of their own at the mansion
- Kasey, the shows Godfather, admits he is scared of Mt. Saint Melissa
- Cell Phone Bill and Mt. Saint Melissa are done.
We'll miss you, Melissa.
Posts
Whoa. That was the Mt. St. Helens of Bachelor Pad posts.
ReplyDeleteI think I got a twinge of residual mold reflux disease when I saw the picture of 713 Notre Dame Ave. It is so perfectly decrepit. I wonder what's going on down in the parts of the basement we NEVER went in.
I really enjoyed Muammar's tooth brushing delay tactics. Maybe he has more tactical skill than we thought. When Mt. St. Melissa was ready to blow, Dr. Muammar cooled her off by saying that he needed 40 seconds to finish brushing his teeth. Well played.
The above picture of Jake as Cliffhanger works a little too well.
I'm not sure who made the worst showing this week, but here are my nominees:
1) Kasey's bad breath
2) Erica's massage technique
3) Melissa's crying face
4) Jake's speech skills
5) Holly's skiing ability
6) Michael's moping
7) Ella's buzzkill (murdered mom)
8) William's unwillingness to "play the game"
Kirk would not have listed a week at 7 and 1/3. I could go one week (of the rest of the season) without hearing the murdered mother story from Ella. Muammar's teeth brushing stall tactic was legendary and a glaring omission in the blog. The next time I am in a verbal spat with Ms. Dugan, I'll try it out and let you know how it goes.
ReplyDelete