The Bachelorette: Men Tell All

Ok, this is going to be a quick recapitulation for those who missed last night's Men Tell All. First, you didn't miss anything because it was a two hour waste. Some highlights:

• Liquor Tim returned to redeem himself and apologize for his early exit
• The Masked Man was regularly derided by the men for his antics. (PS, if anyone believes this was not driven by the producers, I have lost respect for you).
• Cell Phone Bill doesn't feel bad about throwing LL Ben under the bus. Oh, and he sticks his hands in his ears like a 7 year old to avoid hearing himself, showing that his maturation success is equal to his career success.
• Revisited the pissing dog on Greek Groban and Ashley's lantern date.
• El Douche reacted like I would have when faced with flying crickets/larvae to eat.
• Ashley coats her face with vaseline before going to sleep.
• Bachelor Pad II will be incredible.
• Kasey "Guard and Protect your heart" discussed wanting to beat up Jake: "That's for America. That's for my girlfriend." Does Kasey think America sides with Vienna about anything?
• Solar Vienna read books about what questions to ask before marriage/engagement. I think it's safe to say that Solar Vienna was "here for the right reasons" except for the fact he is probably not heterosexual - not that there's anything wrong with that.
• Solar Vienna's "You don't want to meet my family . . . (long pause)" after getting dumped will remain one of my all time favorite exits from the show.
• Nick the baseball player should have been named El Douche.
• Michelle Money offered to pay her own airfare and bake cookies for the cast and crew for 2 minutes of airtime.
• Bentley didn't show up to defend himself because there really wasn't much he could say to rehab his image
• Ali, Jason & Deanna showed up to . . . what the hell did they show up for?

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. Did Dugan write that Ashley covers her face with Vaseline before going to bed?

Yes.