The Bachelor Episode Seis: Juan Love

Hello fans and friends. Dugan's back! Let's take a break from ice cream and Scotch to enjoy some red wine and kisses.

*Additional Hershey's kisses were harmed
during the watching of tonight's episode.

We are leaving Vietnam and landing in stunningly beautiful Taupo, New Zealand, a town on the shore of Lake Taupo. While about 16,000 women live in Taupo, JP is left with 2,000 times fewer, or 8 for the math challenged.

For an otherwise average episode, the single cutest moment on Bachelor/ette history happened during a return from commercial break. See the video evidence here...

Andy's One-on-One.

Dugan's DVR was acting up and the Canes were looking for a solid 3rd ACC win of the season so I missed the date card and a lot of dialogue on this date, but I'll run down my highlights as I saw them...

• The use of cheesy references to volcanoes and dating pressure began
• This theme would be re-hashed by others.
• They got on a jet boat as if they were on the Amazing Race
• Mrs. Dugan notes Andy is wearing white pants and thus "DTF"
• I looked at Mrs. Dugan wondering when the mother of my children graduated from a frat.
• I am supposed to be the immature one. NOT FAIR!
• The jet boat slowed down eventually letting them off the boat into a chilly gorge with ever narrowing walls.
• If this was a horror movie, you would have been screaming at the character to turn around at this point in the date.
• Growing up in Florida, I have limited gorge experience. But a trip to Oregon brought me to the Columbia River George where I tripped and leaned into my brother causing him to fall into the water. No big deal except for his broken hand that was in a cast. And this was the 80s. No fancy soft cast that can get wet. So that thing basically became immobile gangrene. 

But I digress. Back to the date and a romantic waterfall is followed by a night eating dinner by the Tauro geysers. Ok, this is becoming Dugan vacation time machine, but I also was lucky enough to travel to Old Faithful as a child. Even sporting my sweet UNC basketball hat as every 13 year old boy is required to do, I knew that geysers are not the least bit romantic. They smell. Bad. Like what? Like the picture below.

Trust me when I said the date was going to be a disaster before the geyser erupted on them. Nevertheless, Abbie Carmichael receives the ruling she was looking for and the rose.

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge Date
Pavarotti, Teacher Chelsie, Mama Renee, Nurse Nikki, Kat, and 8 Mile go on the MXC of Bachelor/ette dates. I know Fleiss & Co. and ABC would prefer WWT refer to this as the "Wipeout" of dates, but MXC is vastly superior in every way, much like the Bachelor/ette to its copycats.

The girls and JP OGO down the hill all the way to their evening in Hobbiton. I am guessing Hobbiton is the single highest rated attraction in the world. The only people that would go to Hobbiton are the insufferable LOTR fans and they undoubtedly would rate any such attraction as the greatest place on earth.  I think I am getting ornery that my chocolate kisses have run out so let's continue with the recap...

• Pavarotti and Kat are pumped about Hobbiton. Ugh.
• 8 Mile wants a one-on-one and a rose for her 22nd birthday.
• Renee has moved solidly out of the friend zone.
• Pavarotti continues to doubt herself and the process
• Pavarotti's doubts turn into a rose and 8 Mile's longing earns her a long trip home.

*The post show clip included highlights from a sheep poo flinging contest. I am really starting to believe this group date was a bizzaro MXC episode.

What MXC challenge would you most like to see Bachelor/ette contestants perform?

Has to be sinkers and floaters slightly
over rotating surfboard of death

Claire wants an apology one-on-one

JP upset Vidal Sassoon last week when he questioned their late night escapade. In a pretty bold question, Vidal drops my quote of the night: "What are our boundaries?”

BOOM. Are we sure this is still just about swimming?

And for those scoring this date at home.
A. Kissing in the water = bad.
B. Kissing by the water = good to go.

Later in the evening, Vidal drops the runner up for quote of the night, "If there is any kind of conflict…I bolt.” While her honesty is refreshing, I'm pretty sure there is going to be conflict in any relationship and co-parenting situation. Life isn't all geyser dates and sheep poo flinging. Vidal still secures the rose.

Rose Ceremony Time

• 7 Girls remain after 8 Mile's mid episode passing. 
• 3 are secure - Abbie, Pavarotti and Vidal.
• One of Kat, Nurse Nikki, Mama Renee, or Teacher Chelsea will be joining 8 Mile.
• Nurse Nikki and Mama appear safe and it comes down to weak nickname v. no nickname. 
• Kat goes home but those of us at WWT know she is on to bigger and better things.

It's becoming time to wonder who is the next Bachelorette? Abbie Carmichael has to be the favorite. Would she be willing to end her career as a gang prosecutor? What happens if JP wants her? Will it be Fleiss v. JP until the bitter end?

Until next week in the Magic City with a Pavarotti swandive and what appears to be...a Mesnik.