Vidal Sassoon Pretends She Won't Take the Bait
Due to the issues surrounding their Vietnam ocean excursion, Vidal explains she may refuse the fantasy suite option. No one is buying that. Even funnier, when you google "no one is buying" it directs you to a Microsoft Surface. Sorry, Microsft. Something tells me Microsft will be just fine. I'm about as sure about that as I am that Vidal will be staying over.
While jumping off a yacht, Mrs. Dugan reminds me this is Vidal's SECOND time in the ocean. Ever. JP sees if he can up his BS game to match Vidal's: "All your sisters were awesome” Even Lara?
As a fellow hispanic and south Floridian, I tried to give JP the benefit of the doubt. I tried to excuse his words due to ESL but I simply think he is a shallow moron. I hate to say it. I wanted to like him, but explanations of the raw beauty of Saint Lucia were reduced to Tony Montanaesque musings: “This is frickin beautiful.”
It's Fantasy Suite time. What does this mean to JP? NO CAMERAS. Women, he is planning on killing you in the fantasy suit. Vidal survives. We think.
Abbie Carmichael’s Closing Argument
Abbie Carmichael begins their date with some steel drum action. Considering we have witnessed her dance moves, I am guessing the rythm is not going to get her. Shout out, Gloria.
JP charmed Abbie feeding poor native children and playing soccer with same before Land Buggy drive to waterfalls. Haven't these two been chasing waterfalls all season? You know what TLC and Neil Lane say.
Abbie and JP seem to have a real conversation about their feelings and concerns shared in Atlanta. Abbie knows she will have to be a wife and mother. JP knows Fleiss & Co. have forced him to keep Abbie to up her Q rating before the Bachelorette. It's a match made in Fleiss heaven - combustible.
Fantasy Suite Perfection/Nightmare
I have to applaud Fleiss and Co for the editing between JP and Abbie's take on the fantasy suite.
JP's Version
- “laughed for hours”
- “we just get along very well. Our connection, I didn’t know it was going to be this good.”
- “I’m happy. Very happy.”
Abbie's Version
- “Waking up this morning, I could not wait to get out of the fantasy suite…”
- “Saw a side I didn’t really like. The whole night was a disaster. I hope he did not think that went well. I hope he did not think that was a good date.”
- "Didn’t care about who I was, what I thought, what I want in life…
- Didn’t ask questions about myself
- Brought up Fantasy Suite night with Vidal (Oops.)
Nikki’s Fringe Overnight.
There's not much to say about a horseback ride to a secluded beach. The best part of the date was JP listing the attributes he likes in Nikki:
- Honest
- Pretty
- Sexy
- Cares about people and I like that a lot.
HOLY SHIT. JUAN PABLO IS NOT TONY MONTANA. HE IS FOREST GUMP.
Videos, a Farewell to our next Bachelorette and the Rose Ceremony
- Nurse Nikki wants to win
- Vidal wants JP
- Abbie Carmichael wants answers.
She got, "It's ok."
It wasn't ok with Abbie. Not at all. Abbie wanted to pummel him into submission and she simply received "it's ok" in return. For Forest Gump, it was incredible defense.
Rose Ceremony
By default (see what I did there?), Nurse Nikki and Vidal Sasson remain. Both accept a rose but Vidal has to be the clear favorite to win it all. Next week is the Women Tell All...
Posts
So here's a link that would have been more apt a couple of weeks ago when Sharleen left the show, but it is still grin worthy:
ReplyDeletehttp://theashleysrealityroundup.com/2014/02/18/faces-of-hate-an-ode-to-bachelor-contestant-sharleen-joynt/
Here's another funny thing. I watched and you watched but Andi didn't. She and Sharleen went out on the town in Atlanta instead (supposedly- or is this just another Fleiss & company promo?):
ReplyDeletewww.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=7&ved=0CD4QqQIwBg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.examiner.com%2Farticle%2Fandi-dorfman-didn-t-even-watch-the-bachelor-2014-fantasy-dates&ei=xs4NU-XdCMjcoATAxYCACg&usg=AFQjCNHRv9k3tcObdGKQ0RXklnKGEsok6g&bvm=bv.61965928,d.cGU
Dugan, very good insight on a not-so-insightful Bachelor. Before this episode started, I had an epiphany. There are three women left: a lawyer, a nurse, and a hairstylist. There is only one choice that might actually work for JP, a man that must read at a 2nd grade level, tops.
ReplyDeleteI would have thought that Microsoft would be doing better after your amazing contributions to our blog with Microsoft Paint. Inspired work this week. Speaking of inspired, it's really a shame that you just came up with Tony Gump as a nickname now. I really like where that could have gone.
Mrs. Wags and I also discussed how annoying Vidal's "maybe I'll go to the fantasy suite, maybe I won't" routine was. Her true intentions were as transparent as the water she swam in (for the second time in her life).
The Abbie-JP differing date opinion segment had to have been the best part of the season so far. As you said, great work by Fleiss and Co. It also showed how oblivious JP has been throughout this process. Least socially intelligent Bachelor ever? Least overall intelligence Bachelor ever?
I think I like the idea of Abbie as the next Bachelorette, but I worry that she has some Desiree potential: seems like the obvious choice, but fails as miserably boring as the Bachelorette. I hope that her personality is a little more dynamic than Des.
Looking forward to the finale.