We're so glad you could attend...
Come inside! Come inside!...
Is that duplicative? Yes. But, I'm not against reusing good material. And it's particularly fitting for our leading man, Nick. Fans and friends, it's wonderful to have you back for the latest and greatest from Fleiss & Co., including a surprise premier episode visit from Neil Lane! 30 girls all vying for Viall! And most of them wearing a red dress.
Background on Nick
 |
| Neil Lane! |
Background on Nick
We first met Nick (Hans) on Bachelorette Andi's season. He pretended to be the nice guy but quickly turned heel. He followed the Andi exit with a mid-season saunter into Kaitlyn's season. And completed the hero to villain back to sympathetic figure this past summer on Bachelor in Paradise. We know that Nick hails from the Midwest and has a large family.
Past Bachelors Sean Lowe, Ben Higgins, and Farmer Chris sit down to give Nick advice. They basically all call him out and discuss how America hated Nick.Does this mean Chris Harrison, Fleiss and Neil Lane are likely the most responsible people for Nick's maturity these past few years. Incredible.
But, you all know Nick. We are here to meet the girls. Without further ado....
Alexis, aka Flipper, 23, an aspiring dolphin trainer from
Jersey.
Angela, 26, a model from South Carolina.
Astrid, 26, an plastic surgery office manager from Tampa.
- Bio Note: Lists Height as 5’7.5”. Why the half inch? Sadly, more on this topic later.
Briana, 28, a nurse from Utah
Brittany, 26, a travel nurse from Santa Monica.
Christen, 25, wedding photographer from Tulsa. I wonder if
she knows Chad? Strong crazy potential
Corinne, aka Ivanka, runs the family business from Miami,
FL.
- Bio Note: Favorite show. Frasier. Seriously? Its 2016.
Danielle L., 27, owns salons in LA. Likely will go far this season. She's in final 5.
Danielle M., 31, is a neonatal nurse from Nashville.
- Bio Note: Dead fiancé in past. I have a feeling this girl is going to bring the drama.
Dominique, aka Flo, a 25 yr old waitress from LA.
Liz, aka Maid of Honor or MOH Liz, is a 29 yr old doula from
Vegas.
- Bio Note: If I never had to ______, I would be very happy. Kill someone. Ok, let’s keep an eye on the MOH.
Elizabeth, 24, Marketing Manager from Dallas.
Hailey, 23, photographer/jokester, from Vancouver.
Ida Marie, aka Kanye 23, Sales Manager from Harlingen, Tx.
- Bio Note: What is your favorite all-time book and why?: I need to read more books. Who is your favorite author?: Again, I need to read more books. Has Ida Marie read a book?
- Nickname Note: Kanye is a proud non-reader. http://observationdeck.kinja.com/proud-non-readers-a-rant-764450194
Jasmine B., 25, a flight attendant from Tacoma, WA. NOTE:
YES, that means there are two “Jasmine”s.
- Bio Note: Who is your favorite author and why? Steve Harvey. He dished out great advice on success and relationships. Oh for fuck’s sake. It might be better to be Ida Marie and have never read a book.
Jasmine G., aka Warrior Jasmine, 29, an NBA dancer from San Fran.
- Bio Note: Lip tat.
Josephine, aka Baby Rose, 24, a nurse from Santa Cruz.
- Bio Note: Height: 5'7 ¾". Three Quarters of an inch? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
- Nickname note. Doesn’t she remind you of a new Erica Rose?
Kristina, 24, a dental hygienist from Lexington has the
least Kentucky accent of all time.
Lacey, 25, a Digital Marketing Manager from Manhattan.
Lauren, 30, a Law School Graduate from Naples, FL.
- Bio Note: That’s not an occupation.
Michelle, 24, owns a food truck in LA.
Olivia, aka Kathy Ireland, 25, apparel sales rep from Anchorage.
- Bio Note: Was a kicker on her high school football team.
- Nickname Note: See Bio Note. Then see Necessary Roughness.
 |
| I hope we get more Scott Bakula this season. |
Rachel, 31, an attorney from Dallas.
Raven, aka Miss Piggy, 25, boutique owner from Hoxie,
Arkansas.
Sarah, 26, a teacher from Newport Beach.
Susannah, 26, account manager from San Diego.
Taylor, 23, is a mental health counselor from Seattle.
- Nickname options? Sigmund Fraud?
Vanessa, 29, a special ed teacher from Montreal. Favorite to go far.
Whitney, aka Pilates, 25, a you guessed it Pilates
instructor from Minnesota.
General Bio Notes: A lot of talk about dolphins, The Little Mermaid, Olivia Pope, & Rib Tats.
Some initial thoughts about this year's contestants:
- Mrs. Dugan called Rachel the next Bachelorette seconds after seeing her. She's a civil defense litigator from a large family with connections to the Bachelor's home state of Wisconsin. She receives the first impression rose and Rachel is a frontrunner for sure.
- Miss Piggy explains that Arkansans care about faith, family and football. She also explains what she likes to do for fun: mudding, shoot guns and read the bible. She was serious.
- Ivanka lives the swank Miami Beach life running the family internet business. I'd like to know more about her nanny Raquel.
- Taylor, aka Sigmund Fraud, has some biracial angst.
- Flipper and Baby Rose are going to compete with Fraud for trainwrecks of the year.
- The Maid of Honor has already slept with the Bachelor. And I mean that in the Arkansas Bible "slept with" sense of the word. That's a new twist.
- Jasmine G brought Neil Lane and instantly becomes a WWT favorite. Like being a Warriors cheerleader wasn't enough.
- Sarah brought out the pun game with a "runner up" joke jogging to Nick.
- Hailey is this season's raunchy Canadian jokester.
- Ivanka's the villain.
Dugan's repeat prediction to watch for: Danielle M. is going to bring the crazy this year.
Dugan's Quotes of the Night:
Flipper: "I dolphinately cannot wait to see you inside."
Hailey: "I put my best self out there," says the girl who told him she wasn't wearing underwear.
Ivanka: "My heart is gold but my vagine is platinum."
On that note....it's getting late...so let's get to the Rose Ceremony and see who's staying with us.
Special Ed Vanessa
Salon Owner Danielle
Christen
Astrid
Ivanka
Elizabeth W
Warrior Jasmine
Miss Piggy
Kristina
Danielle M.
Teacher Sarah
Baby Rose
Camel Lacey
Counselor Taylor
Flipper
Canadian Hailey
Pilates
Flo
Balls Jaimi
Travel Nurse Brittany
MOH Liz
Until next week when Tim takes over. Please feel free to leave nickname suggestions in the comments. As always, the nicknames are fluid at this early stage of the process.
Posts
Like a good Emerson, Lake, and Palmer reference, I always especially enjoy your opening posts.
ReplyDeleteIt felt like there were so many girls this episode that most nicknames should be fluid. I had also noted Ivanka. It makes too much sense (and says a lot about the real Ivanka).
Did you notice that Fleiss and Co. listed Baby Rose Josephine as a "nurse," but she called herself a "nursing student?"
Also, I'm really sad the "law school grad" got bumped. But I guess she now has more time to study for the bar.
Jasmine the Warrior girl made a strong push to be my favorite contestant of all time. The Warriors AND Neil Lane in one episode. Maybe she'll bring Steve Vasturia with her on the next episode.
Can we call Taylor "Bleep?" She swore nearly every sentence. Very unnecessary.
I don't watch Bachelor in Paradise, but it's obvious that people like Hans now. I kind of hate myself for liking him after this premier episode. When he told Jersey Sharknado that he would absolutely send her home if she took off the outfit, I laughed pretty hard. Hans might be afraid of not finding love, but my biggest fear is falling for Hans.
Ivanka's a layup but Stevie V never turns down an easy bucket and neither should I. Thank you for your eagle eye on the Nurse/Nursing Student divide. We had that with Dentist/Dental Student Ashley a few years back. It's always good to have a Bachelor throwback so people can appreciate the endurance of our fandom.
ReplyDelete"Law School Grad" has to be one of the saddest occupations in history. Not only did you fail the bar, but you have crushing debt too!
I'm ok with "Bleep." How about "Sigmund #$@&!"
Mary and I noted how funny Hans comes across. After Sigmund #$@&! details that her friends think he's a piece of $@&%!, Hans quipped "can't wait to meet her friends!"
I appreciate that you are still using the Hans nickname, one of my top ten nicknames of all time. We should do that poll later this season for a slow episode. Speaking of nicknames, I think this season was doomed to a slow start following the premiere last season which gave us Marine Devito, TURD, ED Evan, Brother Daddy, Jim-Gym, Sweet Baby James, QB4, Barberino, and All 4 Wells. It was really asking too much to top that from the start.