Dropped Her Body in the Frisco Bay

Today's song comes from my favorite Bay Area band, Two Gallants. Liz and I have seen them in concert four times. We are going to see the lead singer, Adam Stephens, on December 16 at Rickshaw Stop. The drummer, Tyson, is incredibly talented. We were lucky enough to see him play with Port O'Brien recently at the Independent.

Welcome to Week 2

My co-worker, colleague, and friend Eric suggested today's song. We played it (during the lunch hour of course) and it sounded quite familiar to me. See if you can place it. I'll put the answer in the comment section.

Thanks for the good work Eric, King of Dublin.

I'm Not Totally Indie

Today's band is well-liked by Jay-Z. He's popular. I'm not totally indie.

Michael McDonald of the Doobie Brothers also sang a version of this song. He's popular too. With my parents.

Let's Make it Two Days in a Row

I enjoy this song because it combines two things I like once in awhile: African pop music and American indie pop music. The song is a collaboration between Esau Mwamwaya from Malawi and the guy from Vampire Weekend. It's really catchy. It reminds me of our time in southern Africa.

We've Added Music

As you can see by scrolling up, the title of this web journal has added a music component. Since Liz and I have just been watching depressing episodes of Mad Men Season 2 and depressing episodes of Notre Dame football, I have had very little to write about.

Since I started a "song of the day" email with a co-worker, I thought I would add a song of the day feature to this web log (I'm tired of b-l-o-g). I will try to update as frequently as possible.

The first band I have been listening to lately is Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Described as a hippie version of the Arcade Fire, this song is incredibly catchy. I have heard this song on the radio quite a bit, and my hipster collegiate cousin listens to them so they must be cool. For reference, when I say "radio," I mean satellite radio. If FM radio inspired these posts, you would be forced to re-live 1998's big hits: Stone Temple Pilots, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Garth Brooks, etc.

Back to Edward Sharpe. I wanted to go see him on Dec 12 at the Great American Music Hall, but alas, the show is sold out. Craigslist time.

Enjoy:

So you think you can dance?

I didn't get a chance to watch So You Think You Can Dance this weekend because I was too busy at the Notre Dame tailgate. I got to see some real dancing! I'll let you evaluate this Irish jig:

It's a new dawn, it's a new day...

And I'm feelin' JAKE!!!


courtesy of ABC

It was officially announced yesterday that too-perfect Jake has been named the next Bachelor.

My first reaction was that this is a horribly great decision. I enjoy watching shows where I dislike most of the characters (see: The Hills, The City, The Ruins). This season of the Bachelor will ideally fall into that category. Jake is really annoying. He's one of those guys who is cool on paper because he is athletic and decent looking, but has ZERO personality. Much like Jim Carrey in the Cable Guy, Jake's personality was created rather than a natural development. I know I would never hang out with him, and if I had to, I would mercilessly make fun of him.

My second reaction was a prediction. I predict that this will be the first season that at least one of the female contestants leaves because she's not interested in Jake. Usually, this is the most unrealistic part of the show: there is no way 25 random people will all fall deeply in love with the same person in a six-week period. This will be the season that tests the "reality" of the show. If a couple of these girls fall like dominoes, then consider me a believer.

The "I'm Falling In Love With Two People" Episode, a.k.a., The Finale.

Sad news for fans of the blog. Tim mistakenly thought the finale was live and flew to Hawaii to propose to Jillian along with everyone else. However, Dugan is here to fill in (and had some formatting issues) and provide a recap for those who prefer a juvenile review of things.

SPOILER ALERT for West Coast fans. Do not read any further.

Jillian starts the episode by introducing E.D. and Kiptyn to her family. E.D. gets first crack at the Canadians. For those that remember Jason’s visit with Jillian’s family, hot cousin Tory is back. You get the feeling she would kill to be in Jillian’s position. E.D. is heartfelt explaining his decision to leave and come back. Mrs. Dugan pointed out that Jillian may have another Bachelor on her mind during her talk with mom. She is giving signals via suggestive foot movements. At home, Tanner P can barely contain himself.

Mom approves of E.D., but we will see later that Kiptyn is her choice. Meanwhile, things go very well with Jillian’s dad. E.D. feels pretty comfortable enough to forgo the “Mr.” and throws out the first name, “Glen”. He even asks Glen for his daughter’s hand in marriage. These conversations usually don’t happen barefoot. They also are not usually followed by male on male coconut bikini top wearing grinding. Sadly, that outfit was still better than the green shorts.

It’s Kiptyn’s turn to melt the hearts of the Canadian women. As for Jillian, it’s par for the course – not much talking…back to sucking face. Kiptyn has a tough hill to climb. He’s a good looking, wealthy, nice, surfer, volunteer, with nine pack abs and a love for the ocean. His resume is like Dr. Baldwin but normal. Kiptyn passes the mom and cousin test with flying colors. Pretty sure he just let the cousin make out with him – his best move. Glen fires away asking if Kiptyn’s in love?

His answer ends the show: “I’m getting there…” If he isn’t there yet, I don’t think it’s going to happen. Grandma is confused why she keeps getting dragged on reality dating shows. Hot cousin and mom come out for Team Kiptyn and Glen is firmly behind E.D. Jillian needs some “girl talk” with Tory before she is ready to choose. Who knew that “girl talk” = “I want to rip your clothes off talk?” I did not. Jillian explains that she shares those feelings for Kiptyn…no shit. But E.D. left something to be desired in the fantasy suite.

Mrs. Dugan points out that E.D. better pull through in the fantasy suite. Last opportunity for E.D. and he knows it. It’s cliché time for E.D.: ”Tonight’s got to be a success.” “I have to seal the deal.” He knows he can’t mess this up and busts out his best gray tank top.

While slightly more hetero than Richard Simmons tank top, E.D. is still facing an uphill battle. ABC is crushing his issues having Jillian takes E.D. to a volcano. That’s just mean. E.D. compares her to a “best guy friend” then busts out his green daisy dukes.

Fantasy Suite Time.

Is E.D. a closer? Volcano erupts. Coffee for Ed.

Kiptyn is in trouble. Ed fixed his one fault in Jillian’s eyes. He’s going to have to separate himself from Ed. Luckily, it’s a beach date and Kiptyn busts out the abs and is ready for Jillian to forget about Ed’s school project volcano. Kiptyn knows he has to lay it on the line. Might have to drop the L word. Close, but no cigar “I’m falling in love with you…”. Two strikes for Kiptyn. Kiptyn gives one last pitch explaining that his life and friends are amazing. Jillian was so confused. Kiptyn was actually using words. Up until this episode, she had only heard the “waah wah wah waah” of Charlie Brown teacher when Kiptyn spoke.

Jillian received two letters in her hotel room. Ed went to Walgreens and got a greeting card. Kiptyn used indigo on a scroll his family saved for generations. These guys couldn’t be more different and Jillian pretends she is falling equally in love with both.

Way off topic, but Ed’s hotel was strangely reminiscent. Then it hit me. Saved by the Bell in Hawaii episode.

As we are approaching the final rose ceremony, all faithful bachelorette fans know that Reid has not yet surfaced. Both men getting ready and looking ready to propose. Kiptyn is first out of the limo. Did he where a purple suit? Kiptyn is talking about their time together, his feelings…waiting for her to stop him before he gets too far. Jillian eventually steps in and explains that while things (outside of the bedroom) moved too slowly and she “fell in love with somebody else”

Kiptyn did everything he could to muster the fake tears needed to secure the next bachelor spot. FAIL. Now its Reid’s turn to fail. He comes back to finally explain his feelings and propose. Reid finally gets the words out and opens up like he should have all along…things just became clear after he got cut.

Jillian seems genuinely confused. Jillian seems more broken up about Reid coming back and professing his love than cutting Kiptyn. I am thinking about something else. What happen to Kiptyn and Reid’s rings? I assume ABC buys the final two guys…but Reid might be going to the pawn shop on the way to the airport.

Ed’s limo finally finds the right house. He starts. She’s grinning. Must have given him the confidence he needed. Before he proposes, he needs to hear one thing. And Jillian says it: She loves him and has wanted to tell him forever. Happily ever after. One of the most “nomal” guys to ever win. Good luck, kids. You provided a great season, as always.

Someone took the time to put this masterpiece together..and I thank them.

Nice Shorts Buddy

This week's Bachelorette installment lacked a certain je nais se quoi. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it last night. As I was thinking about what was missing today, I realized that it was Wes, Tanner, and Jake. This could be the first season of the Bachelor(ette) that I have been more excited for the reunion show than the actual finale.

On this week's episode, all three contestants were whisked away to Maui. Curiously, ABC found three separate hotels to sponsor the show. Each contestant's fantasy suite was in a different hotel. I think Kapalua is nicer than the Westin or the Sheraton. Either way, the hotel choices proved what kind of tough economic times we are having right now. Maui has this, this, and this.

Date rundowns:

#1: Kiptyn and Jillian were sent to do a team-building-exercise, a.k.a. a rope course. Rope courses seem like a horrible date option. It's about the last thing I would want to do in Maui. I would suggest sitting on a secluded beach with a picnic basket. Kiptyn made the best of it by proving to Jillian that he cares about her with such rope course cliches as, "You can do it," and "Just climb the pole a little more." Oh wait, that last line occurred a little later. Once again, the conversation with Kiptyn stinks. He's a blank slate. Chill out about the flamenco pants dude. He's going to win the whole show, and I don't even feel like we know him. What a shame.

#2: Akward Reid was able to express his feelings really well....with the cameramen. Tell Jillian how you feel, not the producers. Reid really needed Chris Harrison's help to guide him to love. Unfortunately, Chris is really only there to help Jillian. Selfish bastard. Though Reid couldn't express himself properly, he seemed like he had everything going for him. He had the Bachelorette-patented Helicopter Date and he got Jillian in the hot tub. It seemed like a recipe for success. Unfortunately for Reid, he had the most demoralizing rejection in hindsight because he lost to a guy (Ed) that couldn't "perform."

#3: Ed was up last. Maybe that's why he was nervous? Maybe sunburns and dehydration really make it difficult to be excited when you're with someone for the first time? Maybe having your parents on the island gave you performance anxiety? Maybe wearing little green shorts all day cut off circulation? It was one of the more inexplicable, curious moments in Bachelor(ette) history. I worry about Jillian's mental health after this incident. She already has low self-esteem. She is going to blame herself for Ed's problem. This is not going to end well.

In two weeks, a winner will be chosen. The previews seem to indicate that there will be a twist. Most are predicting that Reid returns. I doubt it. That would be too Jakeish. And Reid isn't a commercial pilot with full access to the friendly skies.

Kiptyn Iced Tea is going to win. Dugan is the expert on these predictions. The favorite never wins, and Ed is currently the favorite.

In case you missed it...

Youtube has got it...

Wes and the Dark Side

You might wonder why that picture is above. If you look closely, you'll notice that it's a cute bird. It's pretty and blue and has neat spots. It also has one leg. If that's the first thing you noticed, you might have a girlfriend back in Texas named Laurel.

This week's Bachelorette was wildly entertaining even though we all knew exactly who was going home. All of the dates took place in Spain. Jillian, not quite looking her best, had dates with Kiptyn, Reid, and Ed. The qualities of all three of these gentlemen could make up one "Super Bachelor," but more on that later

The final date, if you can call it that was with Wes. This date was truly the pièce de résistance of the whole show. Wes arrived in Spain uninterested. He has already won this competition in his head. During his date he seemed distant and unaffectionate. At this point, every Bachelor(ette) fan knows that you must wear your heart on your sleeve. But during a deeply romantic picnic, Wes could only focus on food and feet...bird feet that is. At one point, Wes slipped and said he had a girlfriend. As Jillian started to cry, the not-so-slick waiter brought over the invitation to the fantasy suite on a silver platter. He might as well have brought a human head. As Jillian was literally crying, Wes said, "I think we should do it." Date over on the spot. Easily the worst dream date in Bachelor history.

But the fun had barely begun. At the rose ceremony sans Chris Harrison (no passport?), Wes was obviously going to lose (even though I had a slight twinge that the producers might step in one more time and give Wes one more chance). Jillian made the right choice 4 weeks late and got rid of Wes.

The time had come. Wes's inevitable limo ride. We had waited all season for this moment. AND WES DELIVERED!!! In a delightful nutshell, Wes admitted having a girlfriend, making it the furthest of any person with a girlfriend, wanting to sell records, and wanting to have lots of sex now that he's off the show. Wes finally embraced the dark side completely and turned into pure evil. This was the first episode of the season that I saved so I could rewatch all Wes-related scenes.

Here's my theory on the three remaining Bachelors. If you combined Reid's personality, Ed's wordsmith abilities, and Kiptyn's looks, Jillian would have the Super Bachelor. It's really too bad that science has not advanced far enough to make this happen. Instead, the Bachelorette with the lowest self-esteem in Bachelorette history is on the verge of a very difficult decision.

Remember everyone, loving you don't take that long. Goodbye Wes.

I'd Like You to Meet My Second Family

Welcome back Bachelorette fans! This week proved to us that, yes, love don't come easy. It was hometown date week. All of the hometown dates paled in comparison to what occurred in Austin, Texas. Before I focus my attention on Wes's date, I will Haiku the other dates.

Reid sells real estate
Just like his middle class mom
Has issues galore

Jesse has a bro

Who looks like a young Gandalf

And blew it for him

Mike has a twin bro
Jill won't fall for their twin trick
Family room dancing

Kiptyn lives in style
Sister looks like a celeb
Hot tub jokes fail

I would create a Haiku for Wes, but I need more than a 5-7-5 structure for this country bad-boy. The first aspect of Wes's date that I liked was finding out that he has two families. "Jillian, meet my band." Strangely, Jillian did not inquire if Wes's band knows any other songs. A loyal blog tipster/superfan has the answer for how you can hear the rest of his songs.

The next best part of the date was Laurel. Who's Laurel, you ask? Well, we don't actually know her, but we learned all about her from Jake. Jake had a five hour layover and a hotel room reserved in Austin (I read another blog that said Jake routinely travels through Austin for work). After briefly consulting with Tanner the moral compass, Jake laid it all out there for Jillian about Wes. This was no surprise after seeing the previews, but it was a true shocker when Jake named Wes's girlfriend by name.

Now to the best (i.e. most frustrating) part. Jake confronted Wes and Wes WON. Jillian bought Wes's excuse hook, link, and sinker. His explanation was that Laurel is his ex, but he just calls her his girlfriend still. Classic. Of course, Jillian went on to give Wes a rose. At some point, the producers can't keep driving this relationship. Jillian can only blame herself for this obvious heartbreak.

Jillian's hotel room proved to be very active place. After Jake showed up, Ed returned. You remember Ed, the guy who left the show because he was going to lose his job. Well it turned out to be a good thing that he kept that rose because he wants back in the show. Let's try a logic game to determine why Jillian kept Ed around:

If Jillian likes guys who are flakes with issues

And Ed is a flake with issues

Jillian must like Ed.

This show is too easy. All of the final contestants on the show can fit perfectly into this logic pattern.

The roses went to Wes, Reid, Kiptyn, and Ed. Jillian justified her pick of Ed by stating, "I need to meet his family...or at least talk to them on the phone." I suggest she ask last season's Bachelor Jason how well that "phone-a-family" plan worked out for him and Melissa.

Goodbye Jesse and Michael. Your wine and humor will be missed.

This Week on the Bachelorette...

It just isn't going to be the same without Tanner:

Twice as Nice

This week's Bachelorette was so good that it warrants two separate posts. Here's the witty opinions of our fair Floridian friend Dugan:



Last week, I lamented the fact that it was an unexciting episode. However, ABC pulled a Lloyd Your browser may not support display of this image.

And totally redeemed themselves. This week’s episode had it all. I don’t even know where to begin. It contained at least 3 quotes that I would argue belong in the top 10 all time. I’ll begin chronologically and let’s take it from there. As the train took off east thru Canada from Whistler and passed a modest lake, one of the men asked if it was a lake or ocean. Canada is known for its landlocked oceans. And so the dates begin.

No job Rob got the first one-on-one. Jillian gave a foreboding comment when she explained that Robby made her feel 5 to 10 years younger. Jillian fired away with questions about his maturity, job possibilities, where he could live and overall readiness. And Rob provided the first top ten quote of the night and a perfect Bachelor/Bachelorette answer: “Love doesn’t have a job.” Incredible. This quote didn’t coming from a 15 year old fighting with her parents about a deadbeat boyfriend. It came from a man trying to prove he is mature enough to win a dating show on national television – this is serious stuff. NJR is a car wreck. We can’t stop watching, though, and it gets better.

Everyone knows why the train is slowing down. NJR is getting the boot. ABC’s taking it a step further than the Sasha bus goodbye. The first ever train boot. Everyone knows but Rob. Well, Old Yeller, it’s time.

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Rob finally notices the train: “Why are we slowing down???” They should have just put him down at that moment instead of letting him suffer any longer. Micheal’s tears were touching. Everyone knows why Michael was crying – NJR was cut because he was young and immature…you could almost see the Grim Reaper behind Michael in every scene for the rest of the episode.

Wes is an asshole. But the show’s editors sure know how to splice some interviews. Wes admits he has a “hidden agenda” on the show, his singing career. Cut to Jillian: “Wes makes me feel safe, happy.” She explains to Wes that it’s so difficult on her because she thought there would be “more jerks.” Ummmm….HELLO? But contrary to what you may believe, Wes is not the most dangerous man on the show. Jake has been hard to figure out since the beginning. Until Mrs. Dugan pointed out the obvious.

There is an idea of a Jake; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real Jake: only an entity, something illusory. And though Jake can hide his cold gaze, and Jillian can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping hers and maybe she can even sense their lifestyles are probably comparable...Jake simply is not there.

Still don’t get who Jake is?

Jake lives in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. His name is Jake. He’s 27 years old. He believes in taking care of himself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if his face is a little puffy he'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. He can do 1000 now.

Still no? Well, let’s just say that if Jillian went on the hometown date and Jake pulled out any Phil Collins, Huey Lewis or Whitney Houston – she would be in big fucking trouble.

Luckily, Jake sunk his own battleship. Another classic quote from Jake to Jillian: “You’re a lot like my mom. So nurturing.” Oh yeah…just what girls want to hear. Later, in an interview, Jake explains that even though Jillian and all other girls think he is an “ultra safe guy,” he has a “whole other side.” I want all readers to know that Mrs. Dugan pointed out who Jake was BEFORE this comment. After Jake readily admitted his need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale, we made eye contact and prayed that Jillian would be safe.

Let’s move on to less psychotic things. The guys turned on Reid once their old punching bag Robbie was left in the Canada wilderness to be mauled by bears. They said he was annoying and neurotic, among other things. Then Reid proved his neurosis with some deep thoughts about fondue after cornering Train staff to ask how he should take things with Jillian – glasses on or off, should he open up more or play mysterious. Luckily, the Rocky Mountain Express comes with a staff willing to lend a hand and Reid took the advice and secured a rose on his one-on-one.

Jake sunk himself on the group date. Who didn’t? Front-runner Kiptyn. You get the feeling that when Jillian and Kiptyn are together, Jillian only hears Charlie Brown’s teacher sounds “wah waaaah wah waaah” and can barely wait to make out. ABC pumped in some sultry sounds and they went at it.

Kiptyn is to smooth as Tanner is to…? After Michael asks Jillian what she sleeps in, Tanner seizes on the opportunity to show an important feature. After impressing all the fellow men and Jillian, Tanner offers yet another classic quote in Bachelor history: “She knows I was blessed.” Some good ol’ foot fettish talk right when Jillian begins to get serious and Tanner secures his exit from the show.

The winery owner Jesse is still drinking beer. Noted. If he gets to Spain, will he demand Pabst at every party scene?

Rose ceremony. We know Robbie is gone. Casual dress continues as ties are only accompanying Michael (trying to be show he is mature) and Jake (no further explanation necessary). Tanner humorously, considering actions explained above, questions Michael’s maturity. Everyone gets the feeling Tanner is gone. Correctly. You will be missed.

Young break dancing, fun loving Michael v. Jake for the final rose. Dugan house is screaming to avoid Jake at all casts.

Whooooo. Sigh of relief. Mike advances. Next week won’t get ugly. Until you see previews of upcoming episodes and notice who doesn’t take no for answer. Jake is coming back.

The Bachelorette. You totally redeemed yourself.

Love Doesn't Have a Job

There were three losers this week on the Bachelorette: feet, the unemployed, and Texas. The producers of the Bachelorette are really hitting on all cylinders. Since Jillian and the gents had already traveled to Whistler, that left only one other fun Canadian activity. You guessed it, a train ride through the Canadian Rockies. (Like Liz, some of you may have been educated this week when you uttered, "there are Rocky Mountains in Canada?")

The train was great. I have personally ridden across the United States on Amtrak (through the American Rockies). But my family slept in our seats, not in a sleeping car. We were not even close to Jillian's own personal Darjeeling Limited.

The first date went to the Bartender Robbie. BUT WAIT. We quickly found out he makes a mean drink but is actually unemployed. Robbie's employment status did provide for the line of the night though. Like a love philosopher, Robbie uttered "Love doesn't have a job." I think the train started to come to a halt about 8.16 seconds after Robbie waxed poetic on love. Not since Sasha's famous bus exit have we had such a thorough dumping. Sorry Robbie, you're going to have to snowshoe your way home to Texas as the other chumps wave goodbye to you.

The group date was next. Fortunately, there were still 7 pairs of snowshoes left after Robbie borrowed a pair. Could this be the worst date ever? Hide and seek while snowshoeing? Having to talk to Commercial Pilot Jake? Getting a foot rub from a freak? Seeing the freak's giant package (those are Jillian's words, not mine)? My favorite part was definitely seeing Reid back at the train talking to all of the conductors. That looked like fun. Canadians seem really nice and quite helpful, eh? And I definitely agree with the choice to ditch the glasses. Back at the date, Kiptyn was busy getting the date rose. He has a 12 pack so he clearly deserved the rose (and I'm not talking about a case of Labatts Blue).

Finally, it was Reid's chance to show off his overly-styled hair and abundance of psychological issues. I actually like the guy quite a bit. His best line was when he said he usually dates blondes. Nice work trying to get the upper hand in the relationship. Reid also showed his OCD side when he deeply analyzed his aversion to fondue. Most impressively, Reid went snowboarding for the first time. Every snowboarder remembers his or her first time. Ouch! Reid probably couldn't walk the day after that date.

We had some inside information coming out of Pennsylvania via Florida that Reid was bitter about the Bachelorette after it was over. I officially call shenanigans. After tonight's date, Liz and I both think Reid is Top 2. I think he may even win the thing. His anti-Bachelorette rumor milling is a ruse. Mark my words.

Wes kept himself in the limelight as usual. According to Wes, he initially came for the music, but may be falling for Jillian. Everyone I've talked to about the show seems to be in agreement that ABC has portrayed Wes as more of a villain than he actually is. We'll just have to see on his hometown date.

In the rose ceremony, Jillian got rid of two losers, the pilot and the package. She needed to have a discussion with break dance instructor Michael before making her decision. I am becoming less and less hopeful that I will hear, "Never did I think I would fall in love with a break dance instructor." He's 25. It's over after the next episode for our instructor friend.

The rest of this season looks great. We can expect some erectile disfunction, a pitiful return by Jake, and true love at the end.

Here's a world premiere for you loyal readers:

The Bad Economy Hits the Bachelorette

Last night was a sad episode of the Bachelorette. House-favorite Ed decided to go home. He chose his j-o-b over a lifetime of Canadian happiness with Jillian. Everything made sense until Ed was about to leave and he asked Jillian for one more request. "May I keep this rose?" Uhhhh...whatever Ed. Go ahead. Jillian is still going to give out the same number of roses dude. You can't control Jillian's life anymore Ed. You're dead to us.

In more uplifting news, my Bachelorette dream may still come true. Break Dance Instructor Mike is still in the competition. Jillian appears very close to saying those thirteen special words, "I never thought I would fall in love with a break dance instructor." It's all I want for Christmas. Just say it Jillian.

Guess what I heard? Love don't come easy. But I do not know the next line of the song. Let's hear it Wes!

Let's see what guest blogger Dugan had to say about the episode:

"Hello Bachelorette Fans, Dugan's back for some more.

"I want to keep it. I don't think anyone should have it"

And with that, Ed left Canada with his rose and a job, but no Jillian. This recession knows no bounds. Devastating news as Ed (a.k.a. Tom Cavanagh) must give up the chance of love and return to filming Scrubs, Eli Stone and Trust Me. Considered a favorite in the Dugan house for the final four - this was tough news for us to hear. However, he ended it like a true 9 yr old explaining that he would not give the rose back. Breaking Jillian's heart and stealing her roses. Slick, Ed.

Joining Ed on an early visit to US Customs was Mark. Alas, all we know about Mark is that Jillian preferred him over Gaston on last week's one on one. And that Mark has been a big contributor in something to watch for the rest of this season - the casual dress of the participants at the rose ceremony. Jillian walks out to these events in Oscar gowns and we have Mark in jeans and an untucked shirt, Jesse's whatever the hell that was, Wes' giddyup outfit. However, all were trumped by Tanner's crushed velvet jacket. WINNER! I also loved Tanner in Summer Catch.
Moving on, let's talk about some of the one on ones this week. We have Breakdancer Michael on a zip line date with Jillian. Is he this year's Jesse? The fun-loving, outside of the box guy that causes the girl to overlook numerous flaws. Mrs. Dugan is convinced Michael is a live cartoon character and not a real person. I can't put my finger on which Jim Carrey character he is most like. Late in the date he was compared to a puppy. Good thing...if the bachelorette was 12. This date ended with my favorite part of this week's episode. THE RIDICULOUS HOT CHOCOLATE MUGS. They were larger than their heads. I have never seen a coffee mug that can hold the equivalent of a Super Double Big Gulp. Where does one even find something like this? I love how ABC glosses over the comedy. Please, someone send a picture.

I'll try to wrap this up as it was a rather unexciting episode if the best part was coffee mugs. Jesse had the glacier date where they decided to write their names in snow. Oops, way too difficult. Let’s just go with first letters of our names. Jesse also claims to be a wine maker but he drinks beer on every date while others are shown drinking wine. Things that make you go "hmmmmmmmm?" Perhaps he's a cork dork and ABC is providing the two buck chuck.

Reid, Kiptyn and Wes are battling it out for the teeny bopper inside Jillian. She turns to mush when they are around. In the short clip with Kiptyn, she asked him to feel her butt, saying "i like you, do you like me," sucked some face, then raved about their conversation. Wes openly discussed his new album coming out. I was on the edge of my seat hoping he would blurt out "It drops the 3rd week of June, Ya'll." No such luck. Bartender Robby got crushed by his fellow suitors. They claimed he was no threat, immature, drinks too much and never had a job. OUCH. Jake is truly lost without Juan. You can tell he really misses him. As do we all.

Previews looked great for next week’s episode."

The Bachelorette: "I just want to suck on some toes."

Today is another We Watch TV and Go to Movies first: DUGAN'S guest blog post. Without further ado, here are his thoughts on last night's wonderful episode of the Bachelorette:

"For those not familiar with Dugan's Bachelor/ette thoughts, my favorite part of every single episode is Chris Harrison's explanation that the last rose is just that: "Gentlemen, Jillian, this is the final rose tonight." Some episodes come and go and that remains my favorite part. Last night was different. There were a ton of great parts. Let's start with Tanner P whose foot fetish is getting out of control. After saying he has no hidden agenda or talent of any kind, he gave the line of the night, "I'm just here to suck on some toes." As for talent, I thought Tanner P did a great job opposite Skeet Ulrich in Scream so I don't know what he is talking about.

Let's move on to Juan. I now have a part that rivals (will never surpass) the Harrison line at the final rose. ABC pumps in Spanish guitar whenever Juan enters the scene. It is fucking fantastic. Also, he is gayer than a parade. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except that he is on a dating show for a woman. His look and gestures made you question, but when he gets alone with Jillian and discusses fashion. Its over. Game. Set. Match. Now, we have a very interesting side-story. Will Juan find love in the men's bungalow? Brad and Tanner F. leaving this week must have been a blow to Juan's happiness in the man cave down from the mansion. Right now, Dugan and his TV Gal will be watching intently to see if Juan can find true love. I have my money on Jake after that western outfit looked far too natural during the Martina McBride date. Or perhaps a brand new season of the Bachelor next year. On Bravo.

Ed had a great date. Ed's date would have been stronger if he didnt ask for the rose. That's always a desperation move and doesnt come across well. Does anyone else think Ed reminds you of Ed from the TV show Ed? Confusing, I know. I may have a rooting interest because Ed doesnt look like a personal trainer.

Dave's a dick. And a "trucking contractor." Sadly, I don't think his performance will negatively affect his career. You get the feeling Jillian is actually scared to let go of him because of what he will do.

I'm afriad Dugan's post might become like a Simmons post on the NBA - not because its well written, funny, or read by anyone. But I could go write about 10 pages. We had some firsts which I will condense below:

1. The rose ceremony parties are a pretty swinging event. There were multiple shots of women besides Jillian. We always knew Chris and camera men/women were there. How big are these events? Can we attend?

2. Who the F is Mark? Have we been 3 episodes into a season knowing less about someone? I swear he was just added to the cast during this rose ceremony.

3. I loved Ed munching down food during the party. Safe with a rose, he's chowing on wings like he's at a sports bar. AWESOME move.

4. Kicking Sasha off on a bus. Great TV. But no one believes that Sasha actually rode a city bus in the middle of the night to LAX. So, picture the scene. You have producers telling Sasha, "Ok, you just got dumped for never having been dumped before. Now, we are going to make you look like a loser and have to board a bus for an exit scene." OUCH.

5. Does Wes' song have one verse? He sang it 43 times on the episode and I only heard one line."

So You Think You Can ....WHAT?

This is the other TV watcher signing on to blog today. (Can I be "TV gal"?) I know you are used to reading Tim's witty, silly and humorous observations on television's finest - while my contribution(s) have been limited to using this forum in a slightly different way. Hello, Soapbox.

Last night marked the beginning of the 5th season of a beautiful journey of remarkable dancers under 30 impressing us with their skill and creativity. I associate So You Think You Can Dance with warm summer evenings, exciting new choreography, talented young men and women and a judge who is wacky and warm as Paula Abdul only wishes she had the emotional control to be.

Something happened last might that will change this forever. You know that friend who can say anything totally outrageous and get away with it? And s/he always has the best one-liners. You know you're guaranteed a good time together. It's going to be great. Until that time when s/he makes a totally disgusting and outrageously offensive comment. You might try to laugh it off but it's a little uncomfortable this time. You get that feeling in your stomach like you might throw-up, you can't focus on the rest of the conversation around you and you're pretty sure you aren't smiling or laughing anymore. That's it. That's what happened to me last night when the judges remarked on two male ballroom dancer-hopefuls who tried out for the show. The audition was mediocre at best. There were some shaky moments, some technical issues and even a bad fall. When the performance concluded, the judges began to comment. The first comment I remember was, "This show isn't for you. You will alienate our viewers." Other comments included such backwards and antiquated ideas like "I couldn't tell which one is the female" and so on.
I hope you all are retching like I was. I know I haven't adequately described the experience, check out Perez' articulate depiction and opinion. Or, just google "So You Think You Can Dance Homophobia"

I guess the good news is ... none of you even watch the show anyway!

"I'm a catch. I just graduated law school and I'm an attorney-at-law."

Yes, ladies and gents, the Bachelorette is back! I never thought we would encounter such a wonderful mix of professions. We have nerds: attorney-at-law, financial advisor, IT consultant. We have blue collar: contractor, oil rig operator, trucking contractor. We have adventure: commercial pilot, photographer, Olympic cyclist. And we have a break-dance instructor! I can't wait to hear Jillian say, "Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would fall in love with a break-dance instructor."

A few observations:

1) Jillian takes certain expressions too far. Hot dog toppings. Looking for Mr. Invisible. I want to fall in love with my best friend.

2) The foot fetish guy is more likely to murder Jillian than win the final rose.

3) The attorney was great (see title of this post). I was sad to see him go. He left with humility and grace when he said, "Maybe she's just doesn't like awesome guys?" Maybe you're right.

4) 25 year old lifeguard? Don't you time out of that job at 19.

5) We placed a bet with a couple of our bachelorette-watching friends. Pick the best five out of the limo and we'll see who's "team" goes the furthest. Liz and I have Juan, Kiptyn, Wes, Jake, and Sasha. Erin and Eric have Juan, Kiptyn, Jesse, Mark, and Matthue.

Our inspirations for this blog, the Dugan, posed some interesting questions before the show aired last night. Most importantly, I should answer Dugan's most insightful question, "Will this be the most romantic season ever?" The answer is clearly...yes.

Shot from Left Field

We watched Lost last night. It's hard to believe that it's the second to last episode of the season. The season really flew by.

I enjoyed last night's episode, but I realized that I find a certain dramatic situation very annoying and cliche. I can't stand it when character 1 has a gun pointed at character 2. Character 1 says, "I'm going to kill you on the count of 3. 1.....2......GUNSHOT!!!" But wait, the gunshot was not from character 1, but rather from CHARACTER 3. Character 3 obviously wasn't in the picture. Lost always seems to have this scenario. This week it was Sayid shot one of the Others who had a gun pointed at Kate. Two weeks ago, Eloise shot Faraday when he had a gun pointed at Richard. I'm tired of it.

Also, the CGI when the sub went underwater was horrible. Anyone else notice that?

On a less critical note, here are some of the celebrities that Liz and seen randomly:

Drinks on Thursday, May 21 at 8pm?

Sorry, I can't. I'll be watching the season premier of So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD, obvi) and you should be, too.

It's Britney, bitch. And I am back.

I'm back. With bells on. We had a great weekend in New York, but the most surprising part of our weekend was the very first "We Watch TV and Go to Movies" CELEBRITY sighting. As we were going through security, I noticed a nervous-looking, 6'4", 170 pound hipster. (No, it was not Tyra Banks).

In an effort to not be complete jerks, Liz and I restrained ourselves and did not say anything to him. BUT we did take a picture:

Does the guy reading the New York Times look familiar? Any guesses? Even though you may not be able see his sarcastic expression, that is Jim Halpert.

The experience of seeing a celebrity always makes me a little sad. Jim was not his normal funny self (Liz and I were our normal funny selves though...don't worry!). He seemed anxious that we would talk to him. Don't worry. We understand the "code."

The code did not stop me from thinking what I would have said to Jim. I settled on, "I really liked your work in Leatherheads." I'm guessing he would not have laughed.

Liz and I spent a good amount of time thinking about the celebrities we have seen in person (not at work, a book signing, or planned appearance).

So this begs the obvious question, what famous people have you seen in person? I would love to know. (I'm not counting athletes).

Is this an American Idol blog?

This online web log has clearly switched from a Bachelor blog to an American Idol blog. These seem to be the shows that have the most material. I am not sure if I should apologize for this or just go with it. I guess I'll choose the latter and follow my heart.

So this week I have come to a conclusion of why I like Danny Gokey (the guy who lost his wife to heart disease). Even though I dislike his songs and would never buy one of his albums in a million years, I find myself with a peaceful, easy feeling every time I watch his performances. And I know he won't let me down (because he never flashes the phone number to vote for him).

I like him because he reminds me of that Mormon kid from South Park:

At the end of the South Park episode "All About Mormons," the little blond-haired Mormon kid says that you can make fun of him all day long about being different, but all he knows is that his parents love him and he loves his family.

I think Danny Gokey is like the Christian version of that little kid. The Gokester is not going to apologize for his Christianity and frosted tips. He loves Jesus, seems like a nice guy, and is going to honor his mother and father with his singing.

So for that, I salute you, Danny Gokey.

And by the way, Matt Giraud is the person I cast my votes for.

A Tale of Two TV Characters

This was a great TV week. More specifically, Wednesday was a phenomenal night. It has taken me a couple of nights to digest what we saw. We watched Lost and American Idol at this girl's house:



First, we watched Lost. I think most Lost fans would agree that it was a solid, but not spectacular, episode. Ben is going to be saved. Hurley and Miles talked about everything the viewers talk about. Kate is still mildly annoying.

The most valuable part of this episode was how the actions of LaFluer helped me understand what I dislike about this week's American Idol reject, Megan Joy.

At the end of this week's Lost, LaFluer showed that he can put aside his anger and do what's right. He can save evil (as long as evil is a child).

Tattooed Mom Megan Joy showed that she can only do wrong. She has a bad attitude. When voted off Idol, she said, "It's okay. I don't care." Uh.....yeah right. You care. You need to care. And that's why Simon is not using the "save" on your chest-shaking, weird singing butt.

So I raise a glass to you, Mr. LaFluer. You give a damn.

American Idol: Final 9 (with your fingers)

Just finished watching all 1 hour, 25 minutes of American Idol. The aspiring light rock/less talk singers all got to choose their own songs. All of their songs were supposed to be Top 40. I obviously missed the point of this requirement. I figured they meant current Top 40. Instead, we were treated to any Top 40 song from the past 30 years. Liz and I decided that "Don't Speak" probably came out when we were juniors in high school, about 5 years ago. There was really no rhyme or reason to the song selection.

I have two abnormal observations this week that are unrelated to anything important on the show.

1) I love seeing the random celebrity shots in the audience each week. This week was especially random. There were two celebrities that I noticed. The camera panned to one of the celebrities very quickly with her family. The second celebrity was sitting behind Randy Jackson the whole episode. Did you see them? Look below for their photos.

2) I have a HUGE American Idol pet peeve. It will influence how I vote every week. I am deeply annoyed when the contestants use their fingers to indicate the phone number you should call. It insults our intelligence. We know what the number is. Seacrest told us, and the number is at the bottom of the screen. This means I will vote for Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert because they did not flash their numbers. Unfortunately, all other contestants were in violation.




Did you guess correctly?

So many good things are on TV...

There are fantastic things on television right now, especially the NCAA tournament. I am very excited to watch some of the games during lunch today. But as I sit here waiting for lunch to arrive, I can't get this song out of my head (and trust me, I don't listen to this "type" of music).

Lost: Changed Viewing Habits

I have been watching Lost since the beginning. My favorite part(s) of each show is the anticipation of what will happen before the "thuds." You know what I mean. At the end of the opening scene and last scene of the show, something that starts with an "S" usually happens - - - shock, suspense, splendor, story. You watch the show so you get the point.

I watch Lost in a different way this season. I blame two members of the 5WSNBN. (For their privacy, I'll call them Lola and Soggy Bottom). On Thursdays, the saddest days of the week because it's 6 days until Wednesday, we all tend to discuss a very basic question: Did you like Lost last night?

Since I tend to blindly enjoy every episode, I am always perplexed by why people don't like an episode. Lola and Soggy Bottom routinely have a definitive (and united) answer. They like episodes where something "happens."

When I watch Lost now, I try to figure out whether viewers, especially Lola and Soggy, are going to be yay or nay on the episode.

My guess is that they only thought last night was so-so.

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

American Idol Result Show

There is a God.

Song of the Week - Dedicated to All Those Travelling Outside California

What Do We Do?

After receiving a "you-haven't-updated-your-blog-recently" complaint this morning from a member of the 5WSNBN, I started doing a little soul searching:

I realized that I have encountered a problem. A couple of the shows I like (i.e. love) have ended for the season. Top Chef finished up and The Bachelor is a wrap. I devoted quite a bit of time to each show. Now we really only have a few shows in the rotation: Lost, The Office, 30 Rock, and American Idol. We need a few more shows to keep us going.

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Is the lady at 14 seconds Sun from Lost or am I racist?

Big TV Night

Liz and I watched quite a few television shows last night. Most importantly, we watched Lost. I have a big problem though. And her name is Kate. LaFleur has found love. He has amazing salads with Juliet.











I have a message for Kate:









Interesting episode. LaFleur is now tied with Bentham as my favorite male character.

We also watched American Idol. The only reason to watch the show: Simon. Simon is now tied with LaFleur and Bentham as my favorite male character.

We rounded out the night with "Bachelor: After the Final Rose Part II." I really have nothing to say other than Jason's a bastard and he should never text message me or call me again.

ABC ... too smart for all of us

The best part of this dramatic finale etc. (if one can even say there was one best part) is that ABC absolutely dominated America. You thought Jason was going to pick Melissa? Yup, he did. You thought there was no way he could let go of "Mol"? Yup, he couldn't. Many faithful Bachelor and Bachelorette follows watch each season intently until the final episode when we think, "if this jerk doesn't pick whats-her-name, I'm never watching this show again!" Well, ABC wins it all. Viewers may feel duped, but at the same time we all feel like we won. "I knew he was going to end up with Molly!" In honor of the man of the hour, Ty's douchebag Dad, this show is Amazing.

While watching the episode I went through all the standard emotions:
Hope - that he would pick the girl who has half a brain over the one with no brain at all
Concern - that it was starting to look like he would actually pick the one who gets her jokes from those fruit-by-the-foot wrappers
And finally, Defeat - that this guy was going to pick Melissa because Jason is so scared of getting hurt that he is going to pick this girl who has absolutely nothing else going for her (she doesn't even have a verifiable family) because there's no way this girl would leave him...unless he publicly humiliates her on national television, but anyways... It occurred to me early in this finale that Jason is so insecure, indecisive, and lame he would surely pick the safest girl, clingy Melissa, over the more independent, Molly. Deanna seemed to guarantee that outcome when she came grovelling back to her very own dopey and "safe-bet" runner-up Mr. Mesnick. (ouch, but right?) It doesn't take much to look at this guy who has been dumped by Ty's mom and then dumped on national television by Deanna to notice that this guy is going to have some issues. Actually, when Molly was driving through Middle Earth in that late-90's limo I proclaimed, "she dodged a bullet!" Oops, guess not.

ABC knew it all along. They had us so good that they even eliminated some of the gratuitous "Coming Up Next" before every commercial break...because they actually had advertisers to fill those minutes! Not to mention the multiple after the after the after the after the final rose shows - I think it's going to take them through sweeps.

Boom Goes the Dynamite: Bachelor Finale

Host Chris Harrison promised us that this would be "the most dramatic finish in Bachelor history." For once, he may have been telling the truth.

Quick capsule summary of last night's 2 hour finale: It's down to two women, Cheerleader Melissa and Midwestern Molly. Both women profess true love. The witch from last season comes to New Zealand and gets in Jason's head. Jason rejects the independent, more-mature Molly. Jason cries like his dog died. Jason makes the "safe" pick and proposes to the cheerleader.



Now it got interesting. The show became like Lost. We fast forward to 6 weeks after the indecent proposal to Melissa to an empty television studio with an abundance of roses. The question became when are we rather than where are we. Jason came out looking like he had an announcement to make. Is someone dying? Did he get the rejected girl pregnant?


We quickly got our answer. Jason made the wrong choice based on Deanna's advice. Millions of American views agree all at once that Jason is a complete douchebag (Sidenote: I got three separate text messages literally calling him a douchebag).


Jason then quickly turned "After the Final Rose" into Jerry Springer. Melissa angrily took off her ring, called him a bastard, and spoke in the third person. There was even a shot of Melissa walking through the back halls of the studio. Great work ABC!


Molly comes out. She's still not over Jason! Hooray! From 2000 miles away, she gets to date the most indecisive, spineless Bachelor in history.


We hold these truths to be self-evident:
1) Ty looks like a Mogwai.
2) Melissa would be the perfect nanny.
3) New Zealand is rainy (why didn't the rain stop the fires of Mordor?).
4) If Jason says you're "amazing," that's a kiss of death.
5) Molly has really good F YOU eyes.
6) Bachelor background music ringtones would be a big seller.
7) Melissa thinks Melissa got screwed.
8) Melissa's parents must be crazy.
9) Chris Harrison is an emotional rock.
10) Jillian is the next Bachelorette, not Melissa.