Ali's Time to Explain
Then the power surged in the Dugan household. Uh oh. DirecTV takes a while to cycle through and I ran to the supplemental tv to turn on Comcast in order to not miss a thing on the Bachelor: Women Tell All. So, we began our viewing roughly an hour into the program with Ali's heartfelt interview with Chris Harrison. Ali blames her fears for leaving the show, explaining that she was scared of being heartbroken, mounting bills, etc. Ali even took the high road when discussing rival Vienna with a shout-out to her rough tabloid coverage. Ali let out a bombshell that I think was glossed over:
"If I know what I know now...I would have stayed."
What the hell happens on the finale? Or after the Final Rose? As Jake told Kevin Fraser, we are about to get some more drama in the next couple weeks.
Elizabeth, this season's "Tori Spelling" candidate
Chris Harrison calls Elizabeth the ultimate game player and wants to find out why she played the no kissie-face game. Who cares, after Jake drops the second bombshell of the show (perhaps not linearly due to FPL issues). Jake says he respected Tori because he had friends whose first kiss was at their wedding. First kiss? Wedding? Is this really done? Does Jake live in Kabul, Texas? Dugan is flabbergasted. As Jake explains that games have ruined more relationships than he would like to remember, Mrs. Dugan and I tried to think of the games Jake was alluding to...I voted Tiddly Winks, Mrs. D went with hide and seek, any thoughts from the WWT fans?
And yes, that is a link to the North American Tiddly Winks Association. If the 15 followers of this blog click on that link, we could shut their massive server down.
Bachelor goes Real World/Road Rules on us
As has been discussed numerous times, we believe people go on the show as contestants (1 of the 25) to eventually become the one choosing. But it turns out, people go on the show just to get into the Bachelor Reunion parties. We got to see the old gang of favorites including No Job Rob still mixing up drinks, Erica still judging, Blond Natalie from Mesnick's season still thinking highly of herself, Kiptyn who thinks he could have kept Rozlyn's interest and a great quote from Wes: "I've kind of had my fair share of hot chicks..."
Bachelor goes United Way on us
Next, the women tell all shows how much the Bachelor cares by having former contestants chip in time and effort with local charities. The kids from Vine Street Elementary (which this review from Yelp says is "OK" and is hampered by having to translate everything into that damn Spanish) helped paint lifeguard stands. Mrs. Dugan and I thought that the kids were having fun but confused by who the hell they were painting with. Where are people we know like Kobe or Shaq?
Wags was not feeling sorry for the kids. These were the luckiest kids in the United States. They might as well all be cancer kids on a "Make a Wish Foundation" outing. They got to hang out with Breakdancing Michael. I also think DeAnna is questionably racist. She called every little boy in there Carlos. That's pretty dick, DeAnna.
And Juan proved his man-card by handing out food with only female bachelorettes. And now comes the real question, who has fewer male friends, Juan or Jake?
Gia/Michelle
Gia regrets not telling Jake her true feelings. You don't say?
Rozlyn's a Bad Liar
How much money do we think Rozlyn received to be part of the Women Tell All episode? After being called out by Gia, Ashleigh, Jessie and fellow Moms Ella and Valishia, Rozlyn denies all and says they didn't see what they saw. Chris Harrison compares Roz' lies to his son's fairytales about unicorns - a classic - and recommends "the simplest story is the truth."
Gia makes an obvious point by telling Rozlyn that she could have just admitted she had feelings for producer X, aka Ryan Callahan pictured below in traditional New Zealand garb, and everyone would have understood. Instead, Rozlyn stood her ground and called all the women liars...
Next week is the finale...and you'll be back in the safe hands of Wags.
Posts
I think the Dugan's nailed it with latest "motivation" theory. People that really want to get married have no business on this show. In order to attract the kind of people that they want they need to have other kinds of motivatating factors and the 1-in-30 odds of being the next 'featured act' is just not good enough. Entrance into an Elite club of "Hot and Completely Unemployable Singles" is a well played move by Mike Fleiss, who signs all the donation checks and must get the tax breaks on those and therefore probably calls all the shots. We should refer to Mike Fleiss as the out-of-touch mastermind (rather than ABC) and he should be played by the same guy that played George Stienbrenenr on Sienfeld in the made-for-tv-movie based on this blog.
ReplyDeleteI'll take you out with DJnickEsmalz's running diary of comments about the show:
About Roz: "This chick reminds me of every stripper I've even know"
About Kiptyn: "That's def. a seriel killer's name"
About Corrie: "There's your girl, the farter, perfect!"
Mike Fleiss is second cousin of Heidi.
ReplyDeleteGreat show two nights ago. I think this was definitely one of the better reunion shows.
ReplyDeleteThe Roz drama was clearly the best part. We learned that women have a "women code" just like Juan's "man code." Women code on the Bachelor means that you have to swear on the life of what is most valuable to you. Jessie started it off by swearing on the life of her dog (at least it wasn't her hamster or cat). Roz and Ella then swore on the lives of their one child. Finally, Valisha upped them all and swore on the lives of her two kids.
Wait a second! On the episode she went home, we found out Valisha was a "homemaker" for the first time. And now on the finale we have found out that she has two kids. I feel like we never really got to know Valisha as a contestant. She could have been an interesting contender had she "opened up" a little more. And by contender, I mean great blog-fodder.
I was also perplexed by the community service projects, especially the lifeguard stand project. There's a lot of major issues in the US, but disadvantaged lifeguards ranks pretty low on the how-needy-are-you totem poll.
Dugan is correct that I was happy to see breakdancing Michael. He proved once again that he absolutely should be sitting in Jake's place.
Mikeysmalz, I enjoyed your brother's response to the show. He is obviously an astute judge of character based on first impressions.
Regarding the upcoming drama, I read a Bachelor insider account that said the Reunion show editors did some fancy editing when Chris asked Jake if he was happy. On the show, he replied "Yes I am happy." The producers supposedly cut out an uncomfortably long pause before Jake gave his answer. Does this mean that we will have a Meznick-esque "After the Final Rose." Only time will tell.
HOLY SHIT! Look what I found on the interweb:
ReplyDeleteRadar Online has obtained a copy of the Ryan Callahan and his wife Stephanie's prenup, which shows Stephanie having premarital assets worth well over a million dollars (including ownership and part ownership in various companies in her home country of Canada) and Ryan with a lumps sum total of $4,500 in assets, but also debts of $7,700. Included in his assets were “a black cat called Coffy, a winter hat with Earflaps, 300 periodicals, all wrestling newsletters, 12 movie posters, a set of chinese stress balls and an Eddie Bauer backpack.”
This guy sounds (and kinda looks like) Odd Todd - http://www.oddtodd.com