This season the Bachelorette is going to freshen things up by taking the men around the world during their quest for love with Ali. Before we get further into this week's episode, we need to review last week. This week's Soup on E! hosted by Community's Joel McHale showed some interesting footage of everyone's favorite wrestler, Rated R. The problem was that Rated R switched which leg was injured during the walk up the hill. Rated R, you got some splainin to do!
Before the Men get all the way around the world, we need to drop some dead weight. While Ali meets with InStyle for a makeover, Weatherman is surprised at the building's height. Sometimes the little things that are said are so classic and missed. No shit, Weatherman. You're in New York. Not Manhattan, Kansas. And to the dates...
Kasey may be in trouble because the other guys are starting to detect something is wrong with him. Chris L's breakdown of Kasey's unicorn and rainbow love was only topped by Kasey's discussion of Ali's cocoon love they were going to share. As Kasey settles down with Ali, he exclaims, "This is Reality." Not one viewer in their right mind has any idea what the hell Kasey is talking about. Is the reality the helicopter ride off an aircraft carrier deck followed by another helicopter so it can film with sweeping panorama shots followed by a picnic in a park with champagne and an awful American Idol tryout. Dugan always wondered about the people on American Idol who were god awful but believe they are good. I wondered how fake it is. I have a feeling Kasey believes he is legit. Yikes.
Kasey is all sorts of fucked up and this is before he attempts to sing the second time at the Museum. Ali laughed when he paused during his first singing attempt at the park. You really felt bad for Ali during the entire date. Ali has no idea what to say to him. Her looks are priceless and Kasey is clueless: "yeah, that’s pretty intense stuff.” Kasey thinks everything is going swimmingly despite everything going drowningly (new word). Ali doesn't know how he got to psycho level so quickly and Kasey confidently responds, "It's just my heart. Jump in. Stay a while." Ummmmm. Ok.
Ali can't give a rose but doesn't want to cut Kasey yet for fear of what NYC will do to him in such a fragile state. What do we get? Man tears. For those counting at home: Kasey, Justin, John C., Frank, Floyd, Weatherman.
Jesse, Droopy Dog, Kirk, Weatherman, Frank, Ty and Roberto have what has to be the best date in Bachelor/ette history. Ali has the difficult task of selling 7 men on Broadway but I think she and the guys pulled it off pretty well. Weatherman's excitement for the Broadway Stage was palpable. So, again, for those keeping notes at home: Weatherman is totally cool with tights, singing and dancing in front of thousands on a Broadway Stage but scared pants-less kissing Ali during the BNL video.
Brutal singing by Weatherman, Frank, Ty, Doopy and Kirk opens the door for anyone mediocre. Peculiar Phelps does the best, but Roberto sings to Ali and wins the extra one-on-one time. Kirk calls him Rico Suave. Dugan laughs. The Wrap Party post date has Phelps taking casual to a whole new level. If he sticks around, he will be in a jersey at a rose ceremony. Ali's not feeling well and Chris L's one-on-one is in jeopardy. Once again, Ali fails to give out rose and Mrs. Dugan fears Ali forgot the rules of the show.
Chris L's one-on-one gets paused because of Ali's health. Chris L. plays the nice guy role well and brings flowers and soup. While Chris L. is securing a birth in the final four, Kasey is working in reality TV infamy via a tattoo. Remember, fans, that the Bachelor/ette likes to take itself seriously. What other show has contestants proving their love via tattoos? Rock of Love. Harrison and Fleiss do not want to look up Rock of Love for ideas.
I'll give you one guess what Kasey got a tattoo of? A shield protecting a heart. At the rose ceremony, the Weatherman sings and flops. Justin is talking with a producer who no one knows. Oh wait, that’s a contestant? The Orlando entrepreneur entertainer, aka, The Riddler.
It doesn't matter because no way The Riddler gets a rose in tonight's ceremony as no one has any idea who he is. Rated R calls out Kasey for lying and Chris L. makes an astute observation: "you're going to be the tattooed Bachelorette guy." Funny nugget of truth right there. Kasey gives her a bag of half open candy but Frank ruined the tattoo reveal.
8 roses for 10 men
Chris L is safe.
Kirk
Frank
Droopy
Chris N. - Holy shit, the Riddler advances.
Roberto
Justin
Ty
Kasey
Goodbye Casual Michael Phelps and Weatherman. Until next week.
Before the Men get all the way around the world, we need to drop some dead weight. While Ali meets with InStyle for a makeover, Weatherman is surprised at the building's height. Sometimes the little things that are said are so classic and missed. No shit, Weatherman. You're in New York. Not Manhattan, Kansas. And to the dates...
Night at the Museum III
Kasey finally gets his one on one to show his true insanity to Ali. There is no doubt in any fans mind who Kasey should end up with after this episode: Crazy Eyes herself. It's difficult to determine what was said on the date considering it was Kasey. Their conversation went a little like this:
Kasey may be in trouble because the other guys are starting to detect something is wrong with him. Chris L's breakdown of Kasey's unicorn and rainbow love was only topped by Kasey's discussion of Ali's cocoon love they were going to share. As Kasey settles down with Ali, he exclaims, "This is Reality." Not one viewer in their right mind has any idea what the hell Kasey is talking about. Is the reality the helicopter ride off an aircraft carrier deck followed by another helicopter so it can film with sweeping panorama shots followed by a picnic in a park with champagne and an awful American Idol tryout. Dugan always wondered about the people on American Idol who were god awful but believe they are good. I wondered how fake it is. I have a feeling Kasey believes he is legit. Yikes.
Kasey is all sorts of fucked up and this is before he attempts to sing the second time at the Museum. Ali laughed when he paused during his first singing attempt at the park. You really felt bad for Ali during the entire date. Ali has no idea what to say to him. Her looks are priceless and Kasey is clueless: "yeah, that’s pretty intense stuff.” Kasey thinks everything is going swimmingly despite everything going drowningly (new word). Ali doesn't know how he got to psycho level so quickly and Kasey confidently responds, "It's just my heart. Jump in. Stay a while." Ummmmm. Ok.
Ali can't give a rose but doesn't want to cut Kasey yet for fear of what NYC will do to him in such a fragile state. What do we get? Man tears. For those counting at home: Kasey, Justin, John C., Frank, Floyd, Weatherman.
The Rose King
Jesse, Droopy Dog, Kirk, Weatherman, Frank, Ty and Roberto have what has to be the best date in Bachelor/ette history. Ali has the difficult task of selling 7 men on Broadway but I think she and the guys pulled it off pretty well. Weatherman's excitement for the Broadway Stage was palpable. So, again, for those keeping notes at home: Weatherman is totally cool with tights, singing and dancing in front of thousands on a Broadway Stage but scared pants-less kissing Ali during the BNL video.
Brutal singing by Weatherman, Frank, Ty, Doopy and Kirk opens the door for anyone mediocre. Peculiar Phelps does the best, but Roberto sings to Ali and wins the extra one-on-one time. Kirk calls him Rico Suave. Dugan laughs. The Wrap Party post date has Phelps taking casual to a whole new level. If he sticks around, he will be in a jersey at a rose ceremony. Ali's not feeling well and Chris L's one-on-one is in jeopardy. Once again, Ali fails to give out rose and Mrs. Dugan fears Ali forgot the rules of the show.
Chris L's one-on-one gets paused because of Ali's health. Chris L. plays the nice guy role well and brings flowers and soup. While Chris L. is securing a birth in the final four, Kasey is working in reality TV infamy via a tattoo. Remember, fans, that the Bachelor/ette likes to take itself seriously. What other show has contestants proving their love via tattoos? Rock of Love. Harrison and Fleiss do not want to look up Rock of Love for ideas.
I'll give you one guess what Kasey got a tattoo of? A shield protecting a heart. At the rose ceremony, the Weatherman sings and flops. Justin is talking with a producer who no one knows. Oh wait, that’s a contestant? The Orlando entrepreneur entertainer, aka, The Riddler.
It doesn't matter because no way The Riddler gets a rose in tonight's ceremony as no one has any idea who he is. Rated R calls out Kasey for lying and Chris L. makes an astute observation: "you're going to be the tattooed Bachelorette guy." Funny nugget of truth right there. Kasey gives her a bag of half open candy but Frank ruined the tattoo reveal.
8 roses for 10 men
Chris L is safe.
Kirk
Frank
Droopy
Chris N. - Holy shit, the Riddler advances.
Roberto
Justin
Ty
Kasey
Goodbye Casual Michael Phelps and Weatherman. Until next week.
Posts
This might be my favorite episode in Bachelor/ette history. It had so many of the classic elements of the show taken to new heights!
ReplyDeleteYou want helicopter rides? we'll give 'em to you, OVER NYC
You want bad singing? Not only will we give you forced singing by everyone on a group date as the audition for a broadway play oh, and all of those performance won't even make the TOP 3 WORST PERFORMANCES OF THE EPISODE!
You want epic 'crazy eyes' level lunacy? Here comes Kasey! Best part is that the open bag of sour patch kids gets him a rose, and the tattoo he got will eventually be his ticket home.
If all of that didn't make you cringe enough you have sick Ali kissing Roberto, Chris L and Kirk - have we ever had a Bachelor/ette pandemic?? cus one is about to happen
I think Casual Michael Phelps left his passport in his only pair of slacks back with his dogs
I have a couple thoughts from tonights episode.
ReplyDeleteI love that Ali was not in need of protection in this helicopter ride with Kasey as she was from Roberto on their first date. She is no longer scared of helicopters? or only acts scared when with someone she likes? Luckily we will have at least 4, give or take, more helicopter rides this season to see.
I believe Ali is running from Kasey throughout the museum date and I love that there are no clips of actual conversation on the date.
Every time the riddler is on the screen I ask "who is that?"
I wish Kasey's tattoo was in color, but why did it take him so long? When he returned the others said he had been gone for 12 hours. That seems a little extreme to me.
Chris L., my original pick to go far, may be the oldest college student. Everything he says sounds like he is 22 rather than 32. I look forward to more "thats what she said" like comments.
This episode just might be my favorite yet. Looking forward to the Crazy Eyes/Kasey spin off.
Great rundown Dugan. I especially enjoy thinking about how you and Mrs. Dugan must have lauged about the Rico Suave comment. WAY too easy of a joke to make about Roberto. Also, I think "Roberto" is a relatively easy name to say. And Ali has lived in San Francisco and probably encountered a few other Robertos. My question is why does she have to pronounce his name like she has never read a spanish word before. She says his name by breaking up the 3 syllables too much (Row...Bear....Toe).
ReplyDeleteThe singing was the best part of the episode, closely followed by the tattoo. Kasey's singing has been in my head all day: "When I was flying in the helicopter, over this amazing city, I look to my left, I saw something so pretty." !!!!!!!! A transcendent moment.
The tattoo was horrifying. I had heard rumors early on that this was not a suicide attempt as originally speculated. Doesn't this seem a little messed up that ABC would set us up to think this was a suicide attempt? I was happy that it was only a tattoo, and really happy to see that it had 11 STONES in the shield to represent the 11 remaining guys. Kasey's tattoo not only sucks, but it is guaranteed to be meaningless next week when there's only 7 or 8 bachelors left.
I'm sad to see the Weatherman go. We will never get a chance to hear what could have become of this budding singer-songwriter.
Mikeysmalz, loved the comment about Phelps leaving his passport in his only pair of slacks with his dogs. No tears shed by that big doofus.
I have already watched this video three times today: http://tinyurl.com/3y3nu2m
The tattoo was
Mrs Dugan's right on with the 'Ali is running away from Kasey' I WAS DYING FOR HER TO START A GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK AND TELL HIM TO GO HIDE SOMEWHERE FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT
ReplyDeleteAlso love the "Ali was def. never scared of flying" proof we have now. I think we need to put a list together of Bachelor/ette atrocities to go with Ali's fear of Flying (low on the list), Ed's ED, Deanna "coming back to win jason" (played up all season as the most dramatic event in bachelor history - it was my first season so I thought that actually was going to be interesting), Wes' GF, and Kasey's Attempted Suicide (has to be the favorite for #1 right?)
Also, I wonder since Ali def. is going to know that Kasey got the tatoo with 11 guys left when he shows it to her, if they will let her revoke the rose (which she would not have given him had Frank not interupted) and bring back weatherman or Casual Michael Phelps?
Oh, and did anyone notice (new metro low for me) that Ali was wearing the same shirt she wore to Bay2Breakers in one of the On Camera Interviews? Just me? **head down in shame**
ReplyDeleteI understand my blog posts are too long and I need an editor but I hope people are clicking on some of the links. I think that will help our ranking in google to make us all rich and famous.
ReplyDeleteAnd my personal favorite links this week are the crying pics for each individual named above.
Totally forgot to mention how great the links were on your post Dugan. As a 49er fan, I especially liked the Terrell Owens picture.
ReplyDeleteThe Manhattan, Kansas picture is hilarious too. That picture should shame us for ever complaining about the bustling metropolis of South Bend (by comparison of course).