Bracket Busting Bachellorette

Memorial Day is great, no work on a Monday is always a good thing and to top off a day of BBQs and Day Drinking we get to wrap it up with the latest installment of our favorite ridiculous show. Since my bachelorette bracket is completely busted, I’m now in complete, “root against the people I had losing in round 1” mode. And we’re off…

Allegedly, Ali handpicked Frank to go on the first date. Facts about Frank - He did not wear his glasses to the morning orientation ceremony, he takes off his glasses often, and he does not pay for the anti-reflective coating. He has contacts or his eye sight is not that bad – either way his Verizon guy glasses are ornamental. Ali drives them in a vintage convertible on a date to Hollywood. Ali and Frank have the most infamous slow speed drive down a freeway in LA since Al Cowlings and OJ, when the car “breaks down” and Ali and Frank are forced to walk/cab it on their date.

After a photo shoot on the walk of fame, Ali takes Frank up to the Hollywood sign. After some drinks, Ali explains that frank meets all her criteria as she wants someone who is FOUR things someone who is funny, smart and quirky. I guess 3 out of 4 is actually good enough. Frank gets the first on screen kiss from Ali

Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Droopy dog confronts Rated R about fibbing to the group about his job before he told Ali that he’s an entertainment wrestler. This is going to be a great undercard in the fight lineup that is this season of the Bachelorette.

The main event looks like its going to be Craig M versus either the Weatherman or Michael Phelps as they are both seriously getting into on this

Group Date time:

It was a rough day for Rated R as his injury was even more of a handicap on the beach and the Canadian semi-pro-wrestler lagged behind as they moved around on the beach. As a former leg cast owner, I feel for him. The beach is the worst place to go with a broken leg. You can’t go in the water. Sand will be in that cast till you take it off. He shared that he, “felt like the odd man OOT” (DRINK ß rule left over from Jillian’s season).

The plan for the day was a photo shoot for charity shot. Its speedo time and the next few scenes reveal quite a bit about our contestant. Droopy Dog put his red banana hammock but still needed his junk blurred. Steve R. now wishes he got sent home as my lock of the week last week as he was offered a sock fill the “extra room” in his booty shorts. Through all of that, the weatherman has the most “junk self consciousness”

Ty pulled out the guitar and to everyone’s dismay, did not play, “Some say Love don’t come easy” but still seemed to win the moment with Ali. Shorly thereafter, Ty pulls out some baggage and spills the beans on his divorce. It looked as though the weatherman’s interruption of this heart to heart cut Ty off before he could turn the corner from Divorce talk to flirty talk, but Ty ends up with the rose at the end of night so it looks as though he played his cards right.

Ty’s rose and Brown Belt Weather Man is your prime example of why you don’t volunteer for the role of NARC, especially early in the competition. Wasting your precious time with the Bachellorette telling her about which guy you don’t like.

Michael Phelp’s initials are apparently JC which means he gets to go with Ali on a private plane to Vegas. This would be the makings of my dream bachelorette date. JC and Ali are staying in the new and fairly vacant city center hotels. JC then broke the Bachelor/ette record for saying “for sure” during a dinner. However, the swirly tattoos, spiky hair and general pleasantness was enough to get a rose.

Back at the mansion, Chris L, John C. and Roberto are three and who

Ali sits and confronts Craig M about his lack of nice comments towards her and the accusations of him being dangerous. Craig obviously was caught off guard and had nothing to say… he’s creepy silence was trumped only but his inability to convince Ali or the audience he had any interest with his. Even though Crazy Craig can’t speak or show any interest in Ali in their one-on-one time He is able to gather all the guys together to find out who call him ‘Dangerous’

This elaborate set up’s sole purpose is to have a public war of words with Weatherman. Maybe Maverick (CC) and Iceman (Weatherman) is the wrong movie parallel here. Crazy Craig is def. more like the neighbor’s dad in American Beauty.

"Kiss me Weatherman"

Now on to the Rose Ceremony:

Frank, JC, Ty already have roses
Kasey gets the first rose, she loves his accent
Hunter, Whaa?
Roberto, obviously, this girl 'liked' jake and he can actually throw
Chris L, another fly under the radar reward
Rated R
Lock of the Week, Steve M. – grrrrr
Kirk
John C
DROOPY DOG! Seriously??
Chris N
WEATHER MAN! I love and hate that his NARCing was rewarded

Bye, Chris M. you were on the cover of the website and had almost zero screen time and you are sent home without an exit interview? Something fishy is going on here but we have nothing to go on here to form an opinion. What’s my theory, ask? He doesn’t drink. That combined with possibly having short and unexciting, “I don’t want to embarrass myself on TV” answers to questions and I think the producers swayed Ali away from him and then almost completely erased him from the show in post production. Tyler V goes home without a rose and an unexplained bruise or scrape on his forehead. Crazy Craig M. no longer has to call in sick to work but will def. be in local Canadian news at some point when he snaps.