The episode started off with a trip to mediocre-looking Vieques, Puerto Rico. It's mediocre if you hate really blue water, soft sand, and well-stocked hotel mini bars.
The big news this week is that all girls get a date. This is really important because they are all in love with Ben (and it's only episode #5). It's like they always say, "the best loves of your life usually bloom in under two weeks." Dear Abby said that. I was big on Dear Abby as a kid. Ask my brother.
Solo Date #1: Nicki the Divorcee
The date card announcing that Nicki got the date was in Spanish. Estas señoras son terribles en hablar español.
The date started out with Ben and Nicki getting a snow cone, and then it continued with them getting caught outside in a hurricane. Nicki observed that "every inch of their body and clothes got soaked." Hey Nicki, that's how rain works.
Ben loved how Nicki could go with the flow when it rained. He felt it was "really attractive" that she could handle it. How admirable that she can handle the stress of an all expenses paid vacation to Puerto Rico.
At the dinner portion of the date, Ben and Nicki discussed her previous marriage. Ben looked visibly stressed about her ex-husband. Maybe my earlier prediction about Nicki in the final three was a bit premature. But like Ben and his future fiancee's relationship, only time will tell (or maybe US Weekly will tell).
Just remembered that Nicki is a dental hygienist. This calls for a poll question:
easypollmaker.com - get your free poll
Nicki got the rose. Maybe that answers the talent question.
Group Date: Seabiscuit, House B, Kacie B, Kendra, Rachel, Casey S., Jamie, Blakeley, Minority Redhead
Apparently, Ben and I have something in common other than our dashing hair. We both like the San Francisco Giants. Unfortunately for the ladies, this equalled a group date at a baseball stadium.
They got to do baseball drills, sprinting, lunges, batting practice, and headfirst slides. Ben said some of them "need some work." Ben's totally right: the best wife is usually the best baseball player. Rumor has it that right fielders are especially frisky.
The ladies had to play a 4-on-4 baseball game to determine who gets alone time later in the night. I know enough about baseball to know that there is no such thing as 4-on-4 baseball. Bellarmine JV baseball for life!
Unfortunately for the viewers at home, the game went into extra innings. It was not nearly as exciting as this:
The Red Team won the game. Blakeley and the Redhead cried about it. House B, quoting from the greatest Rosie O'Donnell movie of all time, said "there's no crying in baseball."
While the Blue Team had to go home in a school bus, the winners got whisked away to a tropical paradise dinner. The weird part was that they all had to wear catcher's gear to the romanticdinner (that didn't really happen, but it would've been a lot cooler if it did).
After some high quality alone time, Kacie B. got the group date rose. Seemed like a good choice. She would definitely look the best in catcher's gear.
After feeling jealous of Kacie B., House B. took Ben to the ocean for some skinny-dipping. Strangely, they showed them getting naked in the episode previews, but not the episode itself. Did they use body-doubles for the previews? I wouldn't put it past Fleiss & Co., Harrison, or Neil Lane.
Solo Date #2: Elyse
Before Elyse even started the date, she started crying about how she might be going home. This seems like a defeatist attitude.
Elyse, though admittedly young, has done everything in life that she wants to accomplish: "go to undergrad, get a master's degree, and live in Florida." There's something to be said for setting attainable goals.
Elyse gave up her job and missed her best friend's wedding to come on the show. Hope NOT making the top ten was worth it.
Huh? What happened? Who's there? I think I just fell asleep with my eyes open. Elyse is so boring. Ben agreed and sent Elyse packing. Liz pointed out that our sleeping dog was more entertaining than Elyse.
I just said to Liz, "I hope she has to go home in a life boat." ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE. Fleiss and Co. arranged a dingy to take her away. Don't hit a walrus on the way out!
Ben dropped the rose in the ocean, pouring out one for his mermaid homeys.
Illegal Solo Date #3: Now We Skinny Dip
Looks like House B. was just teasing Ben earlier about the skinny dipping. She made good on her promise and waited for Ben by his doorstep. Ben, once again saying that this is a bad idea, went against his better judgment. As House B. said, "maybe he'll want to skinny dip with a model?" Well maybe she was right. Ben took the bait from the evil temptress and jeopardized the validity of any future relationship that could come from this show. (Although, I'm not sure that skinny dipping will be solely responsible for that).
Rose Ceremony
Blakeley said she "realized something about herself that she didn't know before." What could it be? Maybe she realized that she likes sushi? Maybe she realized that she wants to get her wrist tattoo removed? Maybe she decided that she only wants to wear strapless dresses from now on? All of these things would have been more interesting than the actual result: she realized that she likes Ben a lot. SNOOOZER.
Kendra screwed up and once again told Ben that House B. is bad news. Her timing couldn't have been worse since Ben just got to second base in the ocean with House B.
The rest of the roses went to Seabiscuit, Jamie, Rachel Speech Impediment, House B., Casey S., VIP Blakeley, and producer picked KENDRA.
Minority Redhead went home. Her crying hiccups were embarrassing. Tough way to go out.
Until next week, in Panama City.
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This is the FIRST episode of the season that LD2 has allowed Mama and Papa Dugan to watch. And it didn't disappoint. I loved Ben's clothing choice after the rain soaked Nikki Top Three date. Elyse was an odd choice for the one-on-one and makes me more concerned than ever that the show is 98% script and 2% reality.
ReplyDeleteI think they needed someone to go home early in order to have the skinny dip episode that night. While I'll continue to let Fleiss, Chris and Neil tool with my emotions, I wish they would make it less obvious.
I look forward to more sleep from LD2 and the rest of the season.
I also like that Nikki Top 3 is winning the poll 6-0.
ReplyDeleteDeputy Dugan, great to hear from you on the blog. Most importantly, glad to hear that LD2 is resting and giving you the opportunity to watch Ben find true love.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up an interesting point about the 2% reality. I think the producers give us a glimpse into the 2% reality when they show the outtakes at the end of the show. Also, I'll bet the Bachelor/Bachelorette usually knows early on who they're going to pick. In this case though, Ben seems like he might not. Unless he is going to pick House B, that skinny dip seemed like destructive behavior.
I'm looking forward to this next week. I am going to try and delve deeper into the mind of Sonoma Ben (foreshadowing).