The Bachelorette(s) Episode 7: Hans' Dublin Sleepover

We have multiple tvs set up in the Dugan house tonight for the Bachelorette and the USWNT. While the USA sailed to a 2-0 victory, tonight’s episode offered some rocky moments for Kaitlyn and her gaggle.

Rose Ceremony and Hit & Run Ian’s Fatal Accident

We continue with the San Antonio Rose Ceremony where Hit & Run Ian’s crash and burn is picking up from last week. Ian decides to trash the guys while lauding his credentials as a potential Bachelor. He then decides to take on Kaitlyn head on accusing her of only being on the show “to make out with a bunch of dudes.”

Digging himself deeper, Ian calls Kaitlyn “shallow.” He then laments the loss of vulnerable Kaitlyn who Farmer Chris left in shambles. He’s not interested in a self confidant and funny woman. This little window into his criticisms revealed a lot about our friend Hit & Run Ian. Ian doesn’t think humor is important. He’s also still single. Perhaps it’s more important than Ian realizes.

Ian calls himself the following:

“Too deep a thinker” 

“Too self aware” 

“Interesting” 

“Punished for being an intellectual”

“Destined to be the Bachelor”

Hold on there, Baba Looey. 

You went too far with that last one. Let’s check in with fellow Princeton alumni for their reaction?

Sorry Ian, You Tiger Now

As for the rest of the roses, we already know that Hans, Ugly Gosling, and Role Models Ben are safe.

Dr. Harris DDS, who the show calls Cupcake, dropped the oddest QOTN: “There’s a reason they call Texas the Wild West because things are getting out of hand.”

Do they call Texas the Wild West? Ummm. Ok. Joining them in rose safety?

• Chris Quinn
• Dr. Harris DDS
• Federal JJ
• American Pharoah
• Trainer Ben
• Tanner Dog

Goodbye Other Trainer Justin and Welder Josh – The two men most in need of a haircut are given the close shave and try to catch up with Ian’s limo on its way to Bachelor in Paradise.

We’re off to Dublin

In Dublin's fair city,

Where the girls are so pretty,

I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone,

As she wheeled her wheel-barrow,

Through streets broad and narrow,

Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

"Alive, alive, oh,

Alive, alive, oh,"

Crying "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh".

She was a fishmonger,

But sure 'twas no wonder,

For so were her father and mother before,

And they wheeled their barrows,

Through the streets broad and narrow,

Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

(chorus)

She died of a fever,

And no one could save her,

And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone.

But her ghost wheels her barrow,

Through streets broad and narrow,

Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

Nick’s Overnight Date

Kaitlyn and Nick wear matching yoga pants and enjoy some of Dublin’s famous sites and sounds including St. Stephen’s Green, Grafton Street, river dance and pubs. Matching Claddagh rings were purchased as Hans settles in as the favorite. We have a lot of kissing and Jameson’s. Dugan’s going to go on record here: Irish Whiskey does not help you make good decisions.

Not designed by Neil Lane

I question why this handsy couple is in a church. I assume it must be a Protestant church but later Hans reports it was one of our friends headed by the Bishop of Rome.

The rest of the date goes like this:

The next morning, we get a Mesnick from Kaitlyn. She’s fluctuating between and not for her night spent with Hans. "I felt like we deserved that time together”

Chemistry. Check.

Emotions. Check. 

Passion. Check.

Favorite. Check.

In Kaitlyn’s defense, she offers a pretty strong defense: “I’ve never dated this many guys.”

Group Wake with Tanner Dog, Trainer Ben, Ugly Gosling, Role Models, Dr. Harris, and Chris Quinn.

The men arrive to find Kaitlyn in a coffin and they most offer eulogies. 

Morbid. Check.

Weird. Check.

Other things to do in Dublin. Might have us here, Fleiss & Co.

Some notes for the rest of this group date.

• Tanner Dog goes self-deprecating.
• Chris Quinn grabs a kiss.
• Dr. Harris sings Danny Boy.
• Role Models Ben went for humor.
• Ugly Gosling goes after Hans.
• Trainer Ben kicks the guys out and gets too serious.
• The Guinness Storehouse serves as the Wake After Party
• Jared gets the rose.
• Gosling is starting to crack under the pressure. 
• Fleiss & Co. let us behind the scenes and show Gosling talking to his show handler.
• The Cranberries are Kaitlyn’s favorite band. The Cranberries are anyone’s favorite band? Let me google them….they’ve sold over 40 MILLION ALBUMS?
• Gosling wants to have his Hans moment and we have to wait until next week to find out.

Mrs. Dugan drops my quote of the night: “There’s more to Ireland than churches and booze.”

Oh really?