The episode started off with a local news station's report on how this season is going to draw attention to Charlotte. I know nothing about Charlotte so this should be grrrrreat.
Solo Date - Uncle Rico Ryan
As Uncle Rico prepared for his date, all of the men were around the pool. What do chest hair and minorities have in common? Neither of them are on the Bachelorette.
Uncle Rico struck out on his date theme when Emily drove him to her house and said that he had to make cookies for soccer practice. Some guys get bungee jumping in Interlaken, and some have to sit in the car as the Bachelorette drops off juice boxes.
At night, Uncle Rico got a date on the town in Charlotte at "Osso," one of Charlotte's most popular restaurants...but only because Emily went there.
At the end of the date, Uncle Rico said that Emily "looks best in the kitchen." Whoa Nellie. Emily found that charming. Maybe I just don't understand Southern charm, honey boo boo child.
Though maybe "too perfect," Uncle Rico took the date rose.
Group Date - Ollie Handro, Nate, Allesandro, Plywood Tony, Michael, SLC Jef, Trauma Charlie, Kyle, MC Stevie, Kalon Hilfiger, Mr. Aaron, Chris, Wolf
The massive group date was at a theater with the Muppets. The guys had the task of performing with the muppets for charity. Plywood Tony proceeded to do a shocking (in quality and pitch) impression of Miss Piggy.
Trauma Charlie feared his impending stand-up performance. Who can blame him? According to Uncle Rico, Trauma Charlie "fell off a balcony and smashed his face." Trauma Charlie then told Emily that he has a speech disability that he is working on, thus he would rather sing the Rainbow Connection. MC Stevie was wearing a newsboy hat, so he must also have some sort of impediment, but he made no excuses.
Overall, the show was predictably disappointing. The best part for the audience was that a portion of the ticket price is a tax write off.
Illogical side note: Emily wouldn't introduce Uncle Rico to her daughter Rickie, but she was in the audience at the Muppet show watching all these guys profess their love to her mom.
Later on in the night at the fireplace cocktail hour, the drama started with MC Stevie slow dancing with Emily. Kalon Hilfiger cut in, drawing MC Stevie's ire. Karma proved to be shrew (synonym of bitch) when Mr. Aaron cut off his date time. MC Stevie called out Kalon Hilfiger for his complaining, thus starting our first rivalry of guys that have no chance to win.
SLC Jef with one f got the rose.
Solo Date - Leprechaun Joe
This date put Uncle Rico's date to shame. Emily flew Joe to West Virginia where Emily used to "summer" at the Greenbrier. Here's a picture of it (no joke):
Back at the house, Kalon Hilfiger criticized Father Doug for "putting his father duties on hold." Fr. Doug told Kalon to watch his mouth and apologize because Doug only came on the show "once his son told him to." I'm calling Leprechaun Joe shenanigans on a 12-year-old asking his father to leave for three months. Ask Kevin McCallister how that worked out:
Back on the date, Leprechaun Joe made the early promise to pack up his bags and move wherever she wants him to move. I wonder what he is running from? Maybe his "Field Energy Advisor" job?
Unfortunately, Joe is only going to be running home to LA to continue offering advice to all of the fields with the most energy.
Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party
It's 10:37 pm. I'm fading quickly. Mrs. Wags has already headed to bed. Self pep talk: stay strong. You can finish this!
My favorite part of the cocktail party was when one of the guys said that Kalon "uses his vocabulary to show his dominance." I'm absolutely saying that line tomorrow at work.
Additional roses went to Kalon Hlifiger, Indy Arie, Michael Ponytail, Nate, Sean, Bobblehead Chris, Father Doug, Travis, Plywood Tony, Wolf, Alessandro, Trauma Charlie, Ollie Handro (she actually pronounced it pretty well tonight), and MC Stevie (no guy that goes by Stevie is ever going to win this).
Goodbye Mr. Aaron and Kyle.
Until next week with some country music superstars...
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I love this season. The name change for the blog was needed for the past two seasons (Dental Student and Ben) but I think Fleiss & Co. knew they had an ace up their sleeve with Emily.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I think the guys are genuinely interested in Emily. There were a lot of guys that competed for Ashley, but I believe it was more sport than fake love inspired by Harrison and Fleiss.
As for my thoughts about the episode - While Kalon Hilfiger was walking on a fine line criticizing the single fathers for coming on the show while not alienating the single mother, Father Doug needs to tone down the rhetoric. I don't want fathers to be lumped into this douchetastic category ala Kalon.
As for "being there for the right reasons," Kalon is the only one I can immediately peg as a fraud. That is pretty good two episodes in.
I like that the producers want us to believe Emily's season will be different. She's just a single mom dropping off orange slices. How many episodes until we are prancing around Europe or swimming in Bora Bora?