The Bachelor: Sonoma Ben Vintage VIII - Hometowns

Final Four Ho-down Showdown

Seabiscuit v. Kacie B. v. Nicky Top Three v. House Bitch

Ocala Gala

Seabiscuit continues to be a fast starter and is first out the gate. Incidentally, we probably should have named her Seattle Slew. Dugan and Mrs. D's friend Lindsey thinks we should have named her moron for butchering the spelling of her own name. But we know that's her parents fault - maybe they have their own name issues to deal with (foreshadowing greatest name EVER). The Biscuit lives a few (3058) miles away from her family in Ocala, Florida, where Ben starts the hometowns.

View Larger Map

Dugan actually has some familiarity with Ocala having camped at Ocala National Forest during summers growing up in the Sunshine State. I remember the forest and beautiful natural springs very well. However, times have changed and Ocala now calls itself the Horse Capital of the World  - mind you, no one else calls it that. Seabicuit & Family were eager to test Ben in the Cox Family Tradition of carriage racing.

Mr. Cox tells Ben there is only one rule - that you have to trash talk. Ben responds, "I don't know Harry, I just met you." Innocent enough. Wait a second. Oh. Wow. Oh WOW. Cox Family Tradition. Mr. Cox. Harry. SEABISCUIT HAS A DAD NAMED HARRY COX. 

Nothing else matters on this date. Harry Cox must advance. I mean Seabiscuit. Whatever. Harry Cox. I'm 14 years old again and can't help it. The date ended with a nice campfire and smores. After Mrs. Dugan ran to the kitchen to check if we had the ingredients to make our own smores, she noticed the Mason Jar wineglasses that Harry Cox and Ben were using around the campfire. For those so inclined to pick up a pair of Redneck Wineglasses - click here.

Last Date in Clarksville

Despite the great Monkeys hit, this was/will be the Bachelor/ette's first and last date in Clarksville, TN. The youngest contestant remaining shows her maturity by marching with a high school band. Kacie B. knows her family - the teetotaler father and bible belt mother - will be tough on Ben. 

Kacie's Dad

Winemaker v. Teetotaler

The interaction between Ben and the Fed Father provided my other (see Cox, Harry) favorite moments of the night. You can tell Kacie's dad had zero faith in Ben, The Bacherlor/ette, Harrison, Fleiss, Neil Lane or anyone else for that matter. He leans in and asks Ben, "What made you choose Kacie to get this far?" If Ben answered, "her ass," we would have had our first murder on the Bachelor. Kacie's dad was looking out for his little girl, but he may be wound a little tight. Kacie's mom was very concerned about the prospect of them living together before marriage. As long as Kacie looked at things "prayerfully and carefully"...did they really say that? 

Kacie's parents view of California girls:

Nicky does Fort Worth


Nicky likes Ben. Ben likes Nicky. They both like Fort Worth. And ugly hats. She's been married before but things feel different this time around. The L word is thrown around. Nicky has to advance, right? She's Nicky Top Three? Has to. Right?


Scottsdale with HB


Ben intros the date with some questions about HB that he wants answered - about how she relates to people, her friends, relationships. Is she human? HB's dad reminded me of a TV/Movie character but its late and when you google "white haired dad movie," it did not provide the results needed - get on that Sergey and Larry. Mr. HB calls marriage "life's greatest gamble" instilling a lot of confidence in Ben. Ben said that grandkids could be arranged and sealed Mr. HB's approval (odd family). Her mother on the other hand was played by Magda from Something About Mary.

HB's Mom

After witnessing the HB/Mrs. HB interaction, it actually shed a lot of light on why HB is HB.

Rose Ceremony

Courtney receives the first rose. Then Seabiscuit. Nicky Top Three v. Kacie? Nicky Top Three gets to keep the name and strive for Nicky Top Two next week. Kacie B.'s tears began rolling slow and graceful. I was proud of the way she initially held up. But that limo kept driving and the camera kept rolling...

“Why am I not good enough…this is why I don’t love. I loved him and I don’t know what to do now...How does this happen?...What the fuck happened???...What the fuck happened?"

Thank you Fleiss & Co. Until next week.