Monday, March 9, 2015

The Bachelor Finale...with NEIL LANE!!!

Cool your jets, fellow Bachelor/ette fans…we have quite a while to wait for Neil Lane. We first have to spend some quality time with our finalists: Ambivalent Becca and All-In Whitney. And we have our heartsick Faux Farmer falling in love with both. This season has disappointed but the finale did not. We have drama, tears of joy, sadness, Neil Lane, Vin Diesel, and the most amazing garage I have ever seen.

The girls settled in Dubuque, Iowa as the closest city of any import. Distance from Arlington? One hour and fifteen minutes. Arlinton, YOU KEEP GETTING WORSE!

All-In Whitney

Whitney is leaving no stone unturned. Within the first five minutes, Whitney has expressed her love for farmers, farms, the Hawkeyes, the Cyclones (kidding, no one roots for the Cyclones), Dan Gable, John Denver, the movie Son-in-Law, etc etc etc



 Sister Act



The Sisters' Act interrogation begins. Basically, it boils down to one topic. Arlington, Iowa.

Whitney has all the right answers.
“Love is more important”
“Can be a nurse anywhere”
“Excited to also have parents again”

Yikes, just give her the final rose already. As much as the sisters approved, Chris’ mom was even more on board. Mrs. Dugan and I wonder if this is the best family meeting ever?

My personal highlight? DID YOU SEE HIS GARAGE?!?!? His garage is bigger than my home. Inside said Garage Mahal, an interesting discussion was taking place between Chris and the male members of his family. Chris' brothers-in-law urged he make the safe pick with Whitney instead of hard-to-get Becca.

Ambivalent Becca

You know, it’s funny having your own blog about the Bachelor/ette. You remember little details that make your spouse question why certain grocery or honey do list items are forgotten but the smallest Bachelor/ette details get remembered. Becca pops out of the SUV and the infographic at the bottom shows age 26, chiropractic assistant from San Diego. This is odd. I remember she was 25 when the show began. I checked the opening blog entry and confirmed my suspicion.

Regardless, it’s time to meet the family and the Soules Sisters all have children on their lap (HINT HINT, Hugs Becca!) THIS IS WHAT WE DO HERE!

  
The sisters want to know where Becca’s head is at. And Becca didn’t hold back. She isn’t willing to move to Arlington. She wants to proceed long distance. She also appears to not fully understand at what point we are at in the season: “If Whitney’s further ahead, does our relationship have to end?”

UMMM….YES! That’s exactly what happens. Fleiss & Co. demand roses and marriage.

Chris One on One Time with Becca

As some of you may remember, I thoroughly enjoyed when Juan Pablo would go off scrip. Becca goes full Juan Pablo in the finale: “I can’t make any promises on when I could be ready to move and pick up my life…”

Chris is distraught. He is thinking this is NOT how this was supposed to go. God forbid Becca wanting to get married and have kids on her own schedule. Then comes, not the QOTN, but the Quote of the Series from Chris. QOTS!

“Why don’t you love me?” I stopped listening here because I was laughing out loud for the rest of their time together…I love you Bachelor/ette.

Date with Whitney

Whitney continues to bring a strong commitment game. She is discussing “our kids” and how beautiful Arlington is. She is seriously all in. She loves being domestic and prefers Arlington to Bali. We get in, Whitney, we get it.



Neil Lane Comes To Heat Up Arlington

NEIL FUCKING LANE!!!


Becca’s weird style continues with the red velvet dress and Chris lets her down easy. He simply states that its not fair for either to take a leap of faith at this point.

Commercial update: Did I just see Vin Diesel? Yes. Yes I did. The Bachelor finale included a trailer for Furious 7. Seriously. What a night! 

What’s going to happen when Chris proposes? Whitney’s head might explode! He does. It doesn’t. Still…what a night! 

2 comments:

  1. What a season. Overall, rather enjoyable I'd say. I think this might be one of the first times I can remember being pretty happy for the girl that got picked and for the guy that picked her. I constantly joke to our blog detractors that this show is the "search for true love." This season may actually soften my cynical heart.

    Dugan, what a finale post! You open up the season with panache and close it down in hilarious style. I read your post out loud to Mrs. Wags. You had us rolling.

    My QOTN was when Chris asked Neil Lane how he likes Iowa. With a wry smile, Neil replied, "Well...it's cold."

    I enjoyed how every panoramic view of Arlington looked like the snow scenes from Empire Strikes Back.

    I want to be friends with Chris's mom and his brother-in-law Jason. They both seem pretty cool.

    I still can't believe that Chris made the right choice.

    I also can't believe how much Whitney won me over in the final episode. I almost didn't care about her annoying voice. Almost.

    If that garage is bigger than your house, it might be bigger than my entire block.

    Is 800 acres of farm really that much farm? Chris and Whitney might be livin' on love.

    Just looked upland saw "neil lane can do quantum physics." I might need that on a t shirt.

    Becca was NEVER moving to Iowa. She proved that when she shed no tears upon exit. I think I might have actually seen her crack a smile.

    Great season. It's been fun. I'm having a pretty hard time getting excited about a Bachelorette duo, unless Britt gets axed in the first episode. That needs to happen.

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  2. By the way, I still don't know which one is Big and which one is Rich.

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