On to the show...
According to the preview, there will be a pickup basketball game. I can't wait to see who can play, and who looks like they played tennis growing up.
The Bachelorette tour continued in Connecticut (?) at the Mohegan Sun Hotel. Mrs. Wags was surprised to find out that it's not the (Last of) the Mohicans Sun Hotel.
Solo Date #1: Dylan
Nick Name Les Dylan (Maybe Les Dylan?) started his date with Andi on an Essex Train. This continues another trend of Bachelor/ette dates on trains. There's a long, mysterious history of train dates.
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| How Fleiss and Co. hope the train dates will go. |
Les Dylan was anxious about telling Andi that two of his siblings died of drug overdoses. For some reason, he felt obligated to reveal this information early in the season. Why now? Why not after the show? It's too serious for this show, and definitely too serious for this blog.
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| Train date reality. |
Les Dylan is actually from Connecticut, so when he revealed the untimely deaths of his siblings, it was even more heavy that being back in Connecticut reminded him of his deceased family. This is turning into a Lifetime drama. I need Herb, the pantsapreneur old man in makeup, to come back and lighten the mood.
Though it was a roller coaster, Les Dylan got the rose (and earned a nickname).
Group Date: JJ Dockers, John Deere, Frat Bro Andrew, Nick, Famous Amos, Dora, Albino Rhino, Tacos, Coach Brian, Frat Bro Patrick, and Josh Griffey Jr.
Andi took the guys to a basketball court so she can see manly, "sweaty" basketball. And then she brought out a bunch of WNBA superstars. That's not going to help them seem manly when they get whooped.
My favorite moment was when Elena Della Donne swatted the Albino Rhino...without jumping! All the HGH in the world can't help The Rhino's jump shot.
The guys then had to play each other for the evening date. Coach Brian led the "Rosebuds," and he was really in his element. The Rosebuds were challenged by the "Five of Hearts." (I think the Five Hearts would have been better).
Thankfully, Coach Brian could play a little bit. He didn't let his junior high team down. On the other hand, the halftime score was 6-6. But, alas, Coach Brian and his Rosebuds took control in the 2nd half. Famous Amos noted that the Rosebuds "breathe excellence." I told Mrs. Wags that I also breath excellence, but she said that is actually just the smell of Dewar's White Label.
The Rosebuds got to have a private after-party with Andi. Unfortunately for Dora, Andi pulled him aside to let him know that their relationship is stalling. Dora quickly got back in Andi's good graces by revealing that he loves his family and that he "gave up his religion" at age 26. Mrs. Wags started singing at this point:
Coach Brian took Andi to center court so they could listen to Endless Love in the dark. He took a half court shot, drained it, and then...blew it by not kissing Andi. Andi said she really wanted a kiss after seeing the half court shot, but since Coach Brian blew it, she went and made out with Hans.
Coach Brian appropriately earned the date rose.
Solo Date #2: Marcus Gosling
The always-serious Marcus Gosling got to help Andi get over her fear of heights. On the Bachelorette, if you can conquer a fear of heights, conquering love is no obstacle. They had to repel down a building in tornado-strength winds. It appeared to be the tallest building in all of Connecticut.
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| It looks taller when you repel down it. |
At dinner, Marcus Gosling predictably got the rose. But before the date was over, they got to go to a casino and hear some country singer perform. They said his name and I couldn't hear exactly what they said. It sounded like "John Carty," but I don't think that's the guy.
Rose Ceremony
Before the ceremony started, Andi got a special delivery in her hotel room. It was a love letter from a secret admirer. Please let it be Neil Lane or Chris Harrison!
Coach Brian took Andi back to center court and got the kiss he missed out on earlier. Wait a second. They're still near the basketball court for the rose ceremony? I don't understand how the production of this show works at all.
Dora made the mistake of accusing Andi of not being open with him. He then took it a step further and said he "came to meet a person, not a TV actress." Andi did not react kindly to being called a fraud and being told that she has a "poker face." She made it clear to Dora that he could go explore for a wife elsewhere. Andi told the other guys that she has tried so hard not to have a poker face.
When the show returned from commercials, Chris Harrison, our leader and spiritual guide, told us there would be no rose ceremony, but rather a sit-down discussion with Andi to celebrate Dora's life.
At the end of the episode, Chris Harrison held his own rose ceremony and revealed that Tacos went home. Needless to say, he won't be missed.
Until two weeks from now, when we finally go abroad.
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Great blog post Mr. Wags. Impressive and appropriate nickname for Les Dylan. I'm getting a little nickname-confusion since the "boys" all seem to have nicknames for each other, like sweet cheeks and honey bunny. Those dudes a in LOVE. They are there for the right reasons, but Andi has nothing to do with it.
ReplyDeleteOverall a pretty downer episode with Les Dylan's family story and Andi's fight with Dora. That's a tricky spot for Andi to be in ... I'm going to call that a lifetime of remorse and regret after that conflict on national television with a young, promising, religion-free guy who, only weeks later, faced a tragic and untimely death. She might be feeling a LITTLE bad right about now. Or, she could be totally over it .... (doubt it.)