The Bacherlorette: The Doublemint Episodes Are Over? Or Not.

We have eliminated Britt but the Bachelorette hasn’t officially become the Kaitlyn show just yet. We still have the Brady situation to deal with. Britt’s emotional call to mom was immediately followed by Brady’s visit. It’s incredibly fortunate that a camera crew was there to capture the moment. And the rest of the episode showed brief glimpses of the budding Brady/Britt romance. It’s odd that by failing to become the Bachelorette, Britt has a much better chance of a normal relationship. Sadly, it’s with a former baseball player turned singer. Which coincidentally significantly lowers your chance for a normal relationship.

Anyways, back to Kaitlyn’s search for true love.

Bachelorette Boxing

• Fashion Designer Daniel
• Justin
• Chris Quinn Jared
• One of the Two Coreys
• Tanner Dog
• King Kupah
• Role Models Ben
• Trainer Ben

Laila Ali impresses the guys and gives them some tips. Here’s the training highlights:

• Trainer Ben is a monster and I fear for anyone stepping into the ring with him.
• Role Models Ben breaks a window jumping rope and shows he has no chance.
• King Kupah spends more time with a rugged trainer than Kaitlyn.
• Kaitlyn’s offered up a QOTN nominee: “I forgot he was even on this date”
• Tanner Dog, while concerned about his face, is also worried his first ever fight is happening on national television. 
• Do you think fights happen less often today? 
• I know they happened more frequently in the 60s and I have evidence.

 Final Thoughts

• After scrappy Chris Quinn Jared tells Trainer Ben not to take it easy on him, Trainer Ben obliges. It was ugly and CQJ went to the hospital.
• CQJ still managed some one on one time and a kiss. Side note – You should not feel special if this Bachelorette kisses you.
• CQJ reads the cue cards: “My head may hurt, but my heart never felt better.” Gag.
• Trainer Ben deservedly gets the rose.

This took far too long to create.

Underwater Thor

Thor gets the year’s first one-on-one and here’s what we need to know about the date:

• He’s an architectural engineer from Chicago.
• He gave the Chris Harrison Triceratops
• After meeting the photographer, he gets a little handsy. I asked Mrs. Dugan if I saw what I thought I saw.

I did. I did.

• Kaitlyn is a nose holder when jumping into the water.
• Rose Secured

Stand-Up Bachelor Men

• Federal Prisoner JJ
• Detroit Jonathan
• Welder Josh
• Dr. Harris DDS
• Hit n Run Ian
• American Pharaoh
• The Dude

There isn’t much to say about the performances other than comedienne Amy Schumer taking apart JJ.

JJ and The Dude

There’s a story developing throughout the episode pitting the Federal Prisoner JJ against The Dude. We have the over-confident villain and the healing preacher. JJ gives updates why he is better than all the guys. The Dude gives a soliloquy on love. He also calls Kaitlyn “Britt” so this love doctor better learn the girl’s name or he isn’t going to last long. JJ and The Dude reminds me of BJ and the Bear. I don’t know why, but I do know that Photoshop would only ruin this masterpiece.

Date highlights

• The Dude’s stand-up performance was bizarre.
• Federal Prisoner JJ’s review: “I couldn’t even hear him because my own brain is shutting down.”
• Welder drops a QOTN nominee: “I’m a love virgin.” Damn, these guys practiced their lines tonight. He’s obviously HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.
• The Dude refuses to be lapped in the cheesy line off: “I’m not here for her. I’m here for us.”
• There are so many quotes coming out of The Dude that I simply can’t/refuse to list them. He’s approaching Hippie Guard and Protect Your Heart territory.
• Confident Federal Prisoner JJ turns into Prescient JJ and gets the rose.

Rose Ceremony Party

Federal Prisoner JJ, Trainer Ben and Thor are safe and the guys agree to give those without a date some time with the Bachelorette. Fed Prisoner JJ grabs her first instead cementing the villain role.

King Kupah is concerned things aren’t moving fast enough and doesn’t want to be a token cast member here for his race. When confronting Kaitlyn, she gently reminds him that he was the only guy that didn’t come up to her during training for the boxing group date. Knocked on his heels, King Kupah never recovers and a meltdown ensues. Before becoming fully engulfed, he delivers my QOTN: “I don’t want to go home. I think you’re hot.”

The King Kupah tire fire continues next week.