I will comment on Wags' excellent take on episode 3 below, but wanted to give a glimpse to fans who don't/won't dedicate 2 hours of their night to watch the show.
You can watch it all or skip to the 2:00 minute mark for some great Bachelor contrived drama...and possibly where Jake turns the corner at the 2:10 mark into a likable Bachelor.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Bachelor Episode 3: If She's What He Wants, Then He Won't Like Me
It seems appropriate to title this post with a Bachelor cliche. I commented last week that the episode was full of cliches such as chicken fights and the "reasons" someone is on the show. This week's lovegame really upped the cliche ante.
It all started out with Vienna's mysterious date with Jake. Was she going to fight forest fires in that helicopter? Was she go to go heli-snowboarding and drop into some wild backcountry? With Jake, anything is possible on the helicopter blades of love. Instead, Vienna and Jake got to take a helicopter to bungee jump. Not surprisingly, Jake was scared of heights and had to hold on to Vienna. The Jaker shed that motorcycle image pretty quickly. After this all-to-typical Bachelor date, I continue to think that Jake has no guy friends and only drinks wine coolers.
The group date was next and featured multiple Bachelor cliches. First, if you want to win the Bachelor's heart, you better be able to do some performance art. If you're shy and scared, but have the guts to get up there and perform, you will do even better (see: Ashleigh). By the way, did you know Jon Lovitz starred in Little Nicky? I'll bet he would have preferred to only the guy from SNL.
The group date continued with ANOTHER Bachelor tradition: the snitch. Every season of this show has at least one snitch who reveals which girl is hated by the others. Because they see the real side of the girl in the house. Vienna is the unlucky victim of the others' anger. It seems a bit unclear why the other girls dislike her so much. She seems as equally annoying as the other girls. ABC has kind of made her out to be the victim. This leads me to believe that the rumors that Vienna might win the whole thing could be true.
Crazy Michelle had another freak out session on the group date that proved to be her last. As we were watching, Liz commented that Jake "finally grew a pair" and kicked Michelle to the curb. After the weird kiss from Michelle and her threat to pack her bags, Jake clearly made the right decision. Though Jake is a total DB, he did become more likeable in the second half of this episode.
The last one-on-one date went to the Mom, Ella. Jake had a huge surprise for her of flying out her son for the date. Too bad it wasn't a surprise for the audience or Ella herself. We saw this one coming from two episodes away. There is no chance in hell she wins so I'm not spending any time discussing it.
The end was great. Elizabeth played the no kissing game and lost for it. I hate to admit it, but I actually liked Jake at the end for his decisions. Although there is no way he keeps it up.
It all started out with Vienna's mysterious date with Jake. Was she going to fight forest fires in that helicopter? Was she go to go heli-snowboarding and drop into some wild backcountry? With Jake, anything is possible on the helicopter blades of love. Instead, Vienna and Jake got to take a helicopter to bungee jump. Not surprisingly, Jake was scared of heights and had to hold on to Vienna. The Jaker shed that motorcycle image pretty quickly. After this all-to-typical Bachelor date, I continue to think that Jake has no guy friends and only drinks wine coolers.
The group date was next and featured multiple Bachelor cliches. First, if you want to win the Bachelor's heart, you better be able to do some performance art. If you're shy and scared, but have the guts to get up there and perform, you will do even better (see: Ashleigh). By the way, did you know Jon Lovitz starred in Little Nicky? I'll bet he would have preferred to only the guy from SNL.
The group date continued with ANOTHER Bachelor tradition: the snitch. Every season of this show has at least one snitch who reveals which girl is hated by the others. Because they see the real side of the girl in the house. Vienna is the unlucky victim of the others' anger. It seems a bit unclear why the other girls dislike her so much. She seems as equally annoying as the other girls. ABC has kind of made her out to be the victim. This leads me to believe that the rumors that Vienna might win the whole thing could be true.
Crazy Michelle had another freak out session on the group date that proved to be her last. As we were watching, Liz commented that Jake "finally grew a pair" and kicked Michelle to the curb. After the weird kiss from Michelle and her threat to pack her bags, Jake clearly made the right decision. Though Jake is a total DB, he did become more likeable in the second half of this episode.
The last one-on-one date went to the Mom, Ella. Jake had a huge surprise for her of flying out her son for the date. Too bad it wasn't a surprise for the audience or Ella herself. We saw this one coming from two episodes away. There is no chance in hell she wins so I'm not spending any time discussing it.
The end was great. Elizabeth played the no kissing game and lost for it. I hate to admit it, but I actually liked Jake at the end for his decisions. Although there is no way he keeps it up.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Larry Platt is the Man.
If you have spent any time looking at the news, the world is going to hell. If you have means, please try to do all you can for those suffering in Haiti. But we also know people come to WWTGTMALTM for a break and a smile. Thankfully, American Idol provided that last night:
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Episode II: We need shots.
Don't worry, devoted fans of the blog, we will get to all the Roz drama later, but I would like to give a run-down for those that have not seen the episode. As a side note, do not make bets re facts of the show with a person who has a blog about the show. As I type this, I am enjoying a delicious chicken grill lunch courtesy of a co-worker who swore that a pilot made it past episode 1. We all know that Jake cut his flying competition and kept the stewardess (or flight attendant) and teacher whose mom sends lingerie and slutty stewardess outfits.
The episode began with group dates. Roz (don't worry, we'll get there) was joined by the Bennigan's waitress (Christina), The Kissimmee Queen (Corrie), the Cougar (Valishia), Ashleigh, and the OctoJolie (Gia). Christina knocked back drinks trying to gain confidence as the other waif-thin women showed their modeling stuff and Roz did her best Britney Spears imitation. From the photoshoot, we got some pool time and bikinis. The Bachelor makes it seem like bikinis are a daily part of every twenty-something's life. We also learned that the Cougar leads women's bible studies free of charge - that could lead to a lot of fun depending on how the season progresses. As Gia explains she was shy and unpopular growing up, things were getting interesting back at the house. The date card came for the one-on-one and Crazy Eyes (as an aside, I have a friend whose dog I call "Crazy Eyes" even though his name is Spencer. For purposes of Dugan's blog entries, Spencer = "Crazy Eyes" = Michelle) likes diamonds as much as she likes Jake.
Moving on, Cristina was opening up about her insecurities as the best looking girl on set stole Jake away - leading to the line of the night: "we need shots!" I think Christina would have had a better chance if she put on her Bennigan's uniform, with as much flair as possible and served up some tasty apps to Jake. Nonetheless, Roz had her tongue to feed Jake and she received the group date rose even though he admits she is "mysterious" and "out of his comfort zone." Mrs. Dugan quickly claims she is the "Wes" of this season but Wes, as we will soon find out, lasted much longer.
The one-on-one had Mrs. Dugan's favorite, Ali, flying high. That was an appropriate start because it ended with the crash landing of the band Chicago's career. Ali and Jake's date went well, she only dates men whose name starts with J (Jim, Jason, Jared, Jordan...) and it had the best song of the season (listen here).
We had another group date which included Ashley (mom sends lingerie), "Tori Spelling" Elizabeth, Jessie, Vienna and Kathryn (flight attendant who wears wedding ring) at Wallyworld. If only John Candy could have been held at gunpoint by Jake as he brings his bevy of beauties around the carnival. Elizabeth Spelling drops a bombshell that she doesn't want a kiss until the end as the other girls lament her throwing herself at Jake - great editing by the staff at ABC (wait for it...). Vienna starts getting dramatic about her romantic past as Ashley brings fresh drinks...awesome timing.
Sadly, the best part of this group date was the fact that Crazy Eyes was not on it and threw a tantrum and threatened to leave. Tenley and Momma Ella, the only others to not receive one-on-one time seemed to cope fine and all ended the week with a rose, fwiw.
Drama Alert:
You hear a lot of catch phrases every week on the Bachelor that it gets pretty humorous or lame - depending on whether you have as much to drink as Christina while watching. Trust me, it helps. "Never before," "For the first time ever," "Hardest decision yet," "Most romantic ever," "Most dramatic..." blah blah blah.
But last night's episode lived up to it. Great drama. Roz gets booted off the show for an "inappropriate relationship" with a staffer. I think its funny that the leader of the free world can "Keep on Truckin'" but ABC takes itself so seriously that Roz has to go. Get a clue, ABC. She was the hottest contestant and would have kept more viewers. Chris Harrison did a great job in an uncomfortable moment as he feigned true feelings for the show's mission and its contestants' feelings. And Dugan has been forwarded many versions of what truly happened that night but is not believing some of the reports that picture Roz a victim of the vast ABC ratings conspiracy. Dugan's first issue with the reports are Roz's actual words. She was accused by Harrison and she did not deny it any way, shape or form. She claimed instead that other women have men at home. However, none of the women packed their men in their suitcases and are continuing their relationship while in the mansion. Dugan finds it hard to believe this is the first time this has happened in the many seasons, but we'll let Roz take the fall. The other issue I have is the same sites that paint Roz the victim also predict Vienna going far and perhaps winning the whole show.
This is not to say that Vienna doesn't or won't win. But I expected pilots to have better eyes. Sadly, the blog has not taken off and I still have to do some legal work in between blog posts and cannot hunt down all the Bachelor related posts on the internet to verify the posts.
When Roz got the boot, another lady was saved. Michelle didn't have enough flair and joined her along with the teacher whose mom sends lingerie, Ashley. Crazy Eyes is back for another week and Dugan's loving it.
Till next week fans.
The episode began with group dates. Roz (don't worry, we'll get there) was joined by the Bennigan's waitress (Christina), The Kissimmee Queen (Corrie), the Cougar (Valishia), Ashleigh, and the OctoJolie (Gia). Christina knocked back drinks trying to gain confidence as the other waif-thin women showed their modeling stuff and Roz did her best Britney Spears imitation. From the photoshoot, we got some pool time and bikinis. The Bachelor makes it seem like bikinis are a daily part of every twenty-something's life. We also learned that the Cougar leads women's bible studies free of charge - that could lead to a lot of fun depending on how the season progresses. As Gia explains she was shy and unpopular growing up, things were getting interesting back at the house. The date card came for the one-on-one and Crazy Eyes (as an aside, I have a friend whose dog I call "Crazy Eyes" even though his name is Spencer. For purposes of Dugan's blog entries, Spencer = "Crazy Eyes" = Michelle) likes diamonds as much as she likes Jake.
Moving on, Cristina was opening up about her insecurities as the best looking girl on set stole Jake away - leading to the line of the night: "we need shots!" I think Christina would have had a better chance if she put on her Bennigan's uniform, with as much flair as possible and served up some tasty apps to Jake. Nonetheless, Roz had her tongue to feed Jake and she received the group date rose even though he admits she is "mysterious" and "out of his comfort zone." Mrs. Dugan quickly claims she is the "Wes" of this season but Wes, as we will soon find out, lasted much longer.
The one-on-one had Mrs. Dugan's favorite, Ali, flying high. That was an appropriate start because it ended with the crash landing of the band Chicago's career. Ali and Jake's date went well, she only dates men whose name starts with J (Jim, Jason, Jared, Jordan...) and it had the best song of the season (listen here).
We had another group date which included Ashley (mom sends lingerie), "Tori Spelling" Elizabeth, Jessie, Vienna and Kathryn (flight attendant who wears wedding ring) at Wallyworld. If only John Candy could have been held at gunpoint by Jake as he brings his bevy of beauties around the carnival. Elizabeth Spelling drops a bombshell that she doesn't want a kiss until the end as the other girls lament her throwing herself at Jake - great editing by the staff at ABC (wait for it...). Vienna starts getting dramatic about her romantic past as Ashley brings fresh drinks...awesome timing.
Sadly, the best part of this group date was the fact that Crazy Eyes was not on it and threw a tantrum and threatened to leave. Tenley and Momma Ella, the only others to not receive one-on-one time seemed to cope fine and all ended the week with a rose, fwiw.
Drama Alert:
You hear a lot of catch phrases every week on the Bachelor that it gets pretty humorous or lame - depending on whether you have as much to drink as Christina while watching. Trust me, it helps. "Never before," "For the first time ever," "Hardest decision yet," "Most romantic ever," "Most dramatic..." blah blah blah.
But last night's episode lived up to it. Great drama. Roz gets booted off the show for an "inappropriate relationship" with a staffer. I think its funny that the leader of the free world can "Keep on Truckin'" but ABC takes itself so seriously that Roz has to go. Get a clue, ABC. She was the hottest contestant and would have kept more viewers. Chris Harrison did a great job in an uncomfortable moment as he feigned true feelings for the show's mission and its contestants' feelings. And Dugan has been forwarded many versions of what truly happened that night but is not believing some of the reports that picture Roz a victim of the vast ABC ratings conspiracy. Dugan's first issue with the reports are Roz's actual words. She was accused by Harrison and she did not deny it any way, shape or form. She claimed instead that other women have men at home. However, none of the women packed their men in their suitcases and are continuing their relationship while in the mansion. Dugan finds it hard to believe this is the first time this has happened in the many seasons, but we'll let Roz take the fall. The other issue I have is the same sites that paint Roz the victim also predict Vienna going far and perhaps winning the whole show.
This is not to say that Vienna doesn't or won't win. But I expected pilots to have better eyes. Sadly, the blog has not taken off and I still have to do some legal work in between blog posts and cannot hunt down all the Bachelor related posts on the internet to verify the posts.
When Roz got the boot, another lady was saved. Michelle didn't have enough flair and joined her along with the teacher whose mom sends lingerie, Ashley. Crazy Eyes is back for another week and Dugan's loving it.
Till next week fans.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Episode 1: Maybe Nice Guys Don't Finish Last
The Bachelor: Wings of Love premiered last night. Thankfully it started at 8 pm on the west coast. There were some nasty rumors at work that it might be airing at 9. Like Rozlyn, I need to get my beauty rest.
If you have followed the writing on this blog, you'd know that Dugan has frequently compared Jake the Bachelor to Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Bateman and Pavelka (Jake's real last name) share good looks, dirty blond hair, and a complete personality deficit. ABC knows this too. That is why ABC has tried to create who they want Jake to be. Jake on a motorcycle? Awkward. (Ever notice that the spelling of "awkward" is kind of awkward itself?). Jake talking about his office "being at 37,000 feet?" Sounds like a line out of a romantic comedy that no real pilot would ever say. Jake saying that "love is more powerful than flying." Of course it is. That's not romantic, it's obvious.
When the Trista the first Bachelorette picked Ryan the firefighter, I remember thinking that this guy will never be able to face his co-workers again. The same holds true for Jake. Aren't most pilots former military service people? Jake's co-pilots probably already made fun of him. This show surely isn't going to help.
Two parts of the season premiere really stood out for me: 1) Jake throwing a football and 2) overemotional contestant Michelle.
1) Jake's football throwing abilities were alarming. When one of the girls wanted to throw the football with Jake, I assumed he might be decent. A childhood Pop Warner football photo of Jake appeared earlier in the episode. He seems like an athletic guy. Alas, Jake throws EXACTLY like a famous movie character who is well versed in time travel and plastic sales:
2) Almost as equally alarming was the psychotic display of Michelle from Anaheim. Her serial killer tendencies shattered her normal facade. She cried because she was not getting one-on-one time and then when she had her alone time with Jake, she came off as completely crazy (kind of like Jake last season?). Even the two drunks with a history of bad judgment (Ed and Jillian) recommended getting rid of her. At the end, Michelle got the last rose. I am torn between blaming Jake or ABC for keeping her on the show. Since it's the first episode, I am going to give Jake the benefit of the doubt and blame ABC.
A few other tidbits from the premiere:
1) Cambodian sayings rule.
2) Best pickup line: "Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place? Now tell me. Right here, right now. What's yours? Snowboarding." Hmmmm.
3) I will never get tired of references to flying, flight attendants, co-pilots, the mile high club, and airplanes.
4) Jake let a lot of seemingly normal girls go home. I think at least one of them could have ended up as his wife.
5) Tenley the Disney girl is Liz's favorite for Jake. Though she's been married, the Disney factor pushes it over the top.
6) At the beginning of the rose ceremony, Jake said that if you don't get a rose, it's "nothing personal." Actually, nothing could be more personal.
Based on the "what's coming up this season on the Bachelor" segment, this season looks like it will be filled with the typical back-stabbing, lying, and eventually love.
Cheers!
If you have followed the writing on this blog, you'd know that Dugan has frequently compared Jake the Bachelor to Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Bateman and Pavelka (Jake's real last name) share good looks, dirty blond hair, and a complete personality deficit. ABC knows this too. That is why ABC has tried to create who they want Jake to be. Jake on a motorcycle? Awkward. (Ever notice that the spelling of "awkward" is kind of awkward itself?). Jake talking about his office "being at 37,000 feet?" Sounds like a line out of a romantic comedy that no real pilot would ever say. Jake saying that "love is more powerful than flying." Of course it is. That's not romantic, it's obvious.
When the Trista the first Bachelorette picked Ryan the firefighter, I remember thinking that this guy will never be able to face his co-workers again. The same holds true for Jake. Aren't most pilots former military service people? Jake's co-pilots probably already made fun of him. This show surely isn't going to help.
Two parts of the season premiere really stood out for me: 1) Jake throwing a football and 2) overemotional contestant Michelle.
1) Jake's football throwing abilities were alarming. When one of the girls wanted to throw the football with Jake, I assumed he might be decent. A childhood Pop Warner football photo of Jake appeared earlier in the episode. He seems like an athletic guy. Alas, Jake throws EXACTLY like a famous movie character who is well versed in time travel and plastic sales:
2) Almost as equally alarming was the psychotic display of Michelle from Anaheim. Her serial killer tendencies shattered her normal facade. She cried because she was not getting one-on-one time and then when she had her alone time with Jake, she came off as completely crazy (kind of like Jake last season?). Even the two drunks with a history of bad judgment (Ed and Jillian) recommended getting rid of her. At the end, Michelle got the last rose. I am torn between blaming Jake or ABC for keeping her on the show. Since it's the first episode, I am going to give Jake the benefit of the doubt and blame ABC.
A few other tidbits from the premiere:
1) Cambodian sayings rule.
2) Best pickup line: "Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place? Now tell me. Right here, right now. What's yours? Snowboarding." Hmmmm.
3) I will never get tired of references to flying, flight attendants, co-pilots, the mile high club, and airplanes.
4) Jake let a lot of seemingly normal girls go home. I think at least one of them could have ended up as his wife.
5) Tenley the Disney girl is Liz's favorite for Jake. Though she's been married, the Disney factor pushes it over the top.
6) At the beginning of the rose ceremony, Jake said that if you don't get a rose, it's "nothing personal." Actually, nothing could be more personal.
Based on the "what's coming up this season on the Bachelor" segment, this season looks like it will be filled with the typical back-stabbing, lying, and eventually love.
Cheers!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Jake TONIGHT
In preparation for tonight's two-hour season premiere of the Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, I have collected predictions from Liz and Dugan. I also have a few of my own. We have made our predictions for this season before ever having seen an episode or reading a spoiler. Our predictions are based on our knowledge of who Jake is and what he stands for. Based on the following predictions, we do not think very highly of Jake. Feel free to add your own predictions in the comment space. We will review our predictions as they inevitably come true.
My Predictions
1) Wes will make at least one appearance as an "evil guest" who is meant to sabotage Jake in some way.
2) At least two women will leave the show because they just aren't that interested in Jake.
3) When Jake takes the women on the hometown date, Jake's hometown friends will be all women.
4) We will hear that Jake has been criticized as "too perfect" at least 5 times on the dramatic 2 hour season premiere.
5) Jake will cry more than any other previous Bachelor, and more than any previous Bachelorette (not sure how we measure this one, but I think we'll know it when we see it).
Liz's Predictions
1) Jake's mom will have a large role this season and greatly influence his selection process.
2) At least one male contestant among the 25 eligibles (ok, maybe all 25).
3) One of the contestants will have a fear of flying that Jake will strive help him/her overcome.
4) Jake will end up with a cougar.
Dugan's Predictions
1) This season will be the most dramatic and romantic ever.
2) Each episode will be the increasingly most difficult choice Jake has "ever had to make."
3) Horseback shirtless Jake, Jake Flying a one-on-one date, and a hospital visit due to alcohol poisoning - these are a few of myfavorite things.
4) The blog becoming main stream due to our hilarious insights into the show leading to our fabulous wealth and hiatus of our stellarlegal/teaching/charitable careers.
5) Rose mishaps. I picture some roses used as weapons and/or some error. Like the show flies to mexico and the can only find yellowroses for the ceremony.
6) I'll take the over on Tim's plus/minus "too perfect" for Jake.
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