The show started off this week in surprisingly-charming Iceland. I should know this by now though since Iceland is the pretty one and Greenland is the ugly one, right? A little geographical play on words. Iceland also lends itself to corny quotes:
"No one dreams of going to Iceland to find love."
"We're going to get Iceland-ed up."
"Iceland is the perfect place to show her my tattoo."
This was also the time in Iceland of the volcano eruption. Ali says it's an exciting time to be in Iceland. Thank you Captain Obvious.
Poetry - Root Beer Eyes and Caviar Dreams
The first solo date with Ali goes to the Bachelor who writes and performs the best poem. The highlight of the poetry reading was seeing the Riddler speak! Once again, we ask, "who is this guy?" Seems to be lots of love poem experience in this group. Attempting to hear Kasey read his poem makes me realize that I never want Kasey to leave my life. He's needs his own drama on Lifetime. I'd tune in.
Kirk narrowly wins the poetry challenge over Frank by slowly walking towards Ali while commenting on her "rich root beer eyes."
Solo Date #1: Kirk
The date kicks off by a trip to a clothing store. Turns out that Icelandic clothing stores are the best place to go for ugly sweater parties.
The theme of this date is that Kirk has a secret. Ali knows it. ABC tried to throw us off the trail by noting that he can't say a bad thing about any of his ex's. I was convinced that Kirk was going to tell her he was on the no-fly list for airlines. Sadly, Kirk had been sick from mold, asbestos, and fungus in his college house. How does this not happen more often? My Dad's college house at Notre Dame was condemned. No one lives in Dugan and my old college house (pictured below in all it's glory). This reveal seemed a little too serious for a Bachelorette theme. On the other hand, at least it wasn't a previous divorce. Needless to say, Kirk got a rose. He's a front-runner now.
713 Notre Dame Ave - Where Dugan once had a snowdrift in his bedroom. No joke.
Group Date
Horse ride. Cave repelling. Volcano surfing. If Liz told me we were going on this exact date, I would likely ask to stay at the lodge together. Hey! I know what you're thinking. I'm not a sissy. I camp (in beach houses).
Later in the date, the group did some romantic hot-tubbing in some natural springs. This sounds more fun than the outdoor date, but going on this type of date with four other dudes is just too much. Frank seemed to agree with me because he "knows that he has something special with her" and needs to be with her.
After Frank and Ali had a heart-to-heart, the camera cut to the Riddler. Shocking! It would have been so great if she had given the rose to the Riddler. Alas, horse wrangler Ty lassoed Ali's heart and got the rose.
Double Date to the Death: Rated R vs. Kasey the Tattoo!
Before the date started, I predicted that Ali would give neither of these guys a rose. They are both really weird guys.
The date started off with the third helicopter ride of the season by my calculation. The date got them up close and personal with the volcano that cost Europe an estimated $200 million per day (fun fact of the blog). After checking out the lava, they went to have a picnic in a cave. It looked as equally uncomfortable as having a picnic on top of a commercial building rooftop.
Ali gets some sweet alone time with Kasey. This was his chance to prove his "genuine heart" and show off his tattoo. As expected, Ali looked positively freaked out. I don't think she should be though because Kasey is there to guard and protect her heart.
After a hike through the -30 degree ice cavern, Ali ruins my prediction and sends Kasey home. ABC does it again and leaves Kasey behind in the ice cavern with his fuzzy hat while Rated R snaps into a slim jim and takes off in the helicopter with Ali.
Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony
Great moment #1: Droopy Dog makes fun of Kasey's tattoo. Liz says, "too soon."
Great moment #2: The Riddler informs Ali that his guilty pleasure is...wait for it...wait for it...MEXICAN FOOD. He should have gone with lasagna. Would have been a more solid answer.
Great moment #3: Chris L. will collect garbage in San Francisco if it will get Ali.
Speaking of guys named Chris, our favorite, Chris Harrison confronted Ali by telling her she's afraid to fall in love. Ali said she's afraid of someone breaking her heart. It's called karma. And it's for what she did to Jake!
In the least shocking rose ceremony in Bachelor/ette history, the Riddler is sent packing. I'm sad that we'll never get to know what kind of Mexican food is his guilty pleasure. I heard he loved, "yo momma" jokes, but we just never got to hear enough of them. I wonder what his first CD was. I guess some questions are better left unanswered.
Hey Turkeys, see you next week!
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My absolute favorite part of this episode was Ali saying she was "suposebly" going to the oldest city on earth, what are the oldest cities on earth you ask? I did that google search for you... any of them would be perfect settings to cultivate a budding romance, Kirkuk, Iraq anyone?
ReplyDeletehttp://blog.hotelclub.com/the-10-oldest-cities-on-earth/
In a more serious, yet highly intriguing story line is Kirk's prolonged exposure to asbestos and other air born molds which may or may not have caused lung damage. Now Kirk is 27 and was going through college the same time we were. I'm wondering why it took 18 months for his mom to do a webMD search for his symptoms (and why he didn't do it himself). I had a prolonged cold in 2001 and knew all different manifestations of anthrax exposure and the exact doses of ciprofloxacin needed to treat inhalation anthrax (the most dangerous). Type in: Shortness of Breath to the search bar of WebMD, and Lung Cancer is easily the scariest selection to pop up. Click. This no doubt should have exposed him to Mesothelioma and its causes.
http://www.webmd.com/lung/asbestos-exposure
Granted WebMD might not have been as robust as it is today and he could have had some bad doctors...all in all this, this is scary stuff and it put's his favorite book into perspective: It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life by Lance Armstrong
This show does some things well and some things extraordinarily well. Leaving Kasey on a Glacier was laugh-out-loud funny. When I wasn't cringing watching Kasey, I thought about how desperate a women would have to be to like Kasey. There are a lot of desperate women out there, so I would love to be a viewer in his new reality series - Kasey: Guarding and Protecting Your Heart.
ReplyDeleteHow many times did he say this during the season? Once WWT gets big and famous, and we can have interns, the first task I am asking them do is watch this season from the beginning and count the phrase "Guard and Protect your Heart".
Do we have early guesses? 30? 45?
Rated R is getting weirder by the episode. I think he is becoming less Justin and more Rated R as the season progresses.
Roberto still can't get his top button. Chris L. with a shout out to Casual Michael Phelps at the rose ceremony.
I had some issues with Kirk's big secret. To me, it seems like a bad cold blown out of proportion. And it was 9 years earlier. Hey, in the words of Kenny Powers: "Yeah, i hurt myself...i hurt my nose." Get tough, Kirk. Wags and I survived not only snow drifts in that haunted house pictured above that has remained empty since I left in late May, 2003, but also...its basement. The horror! The horror!
This week's episode was ok - better than anything else on tv, but overall not the drama that I tune in for on a weekly basis.
ReplyDeleteThe Good:
Kasey: Kasey on the Glacier, Kasey mumbling his poem, Kasey's tattoo reveal, last week's Kasey singing recap, really anything Kasey is gold. I will miss him dearly
Chris N's mexican food reveal
Chris Harrison: Casual Chris in Iceland - has he ever not been in a suit?, Chris' prodding of Ally to generate more drama, and his smug look of self-confidence that he was asking pertinent probing questions
The Bad:
-Kirk's "big" reveal - the may be an all-time Bachelor let-down for me. I was hoping for something really big, my guess was that he was a registered sex offender - no such luck.
-Kasey's ouster
-The least dramatic rose ceremony ever (didn't Chris N seemed confused about the whole thing? It's like he just realized he was on a dating show and people were getting kicked off - I can't help but wonder if he thought he was on some other show)
I look forward to next week's drama and still am on the look-out for any direct shot of Ally's ass - she must have some incredible contract with ABC.
Am I on an island here with Kirk's asbestos exposure being a huge deal !? If he was living in a house that made him that sick because for over a year its like 7:2 that this guy develops a highly aggressive untreatable form of lung cancer. Doesn't that weigh heavily into the decision Ali makes when you're talking about spending the rest of your life with someone?! Its not like this guy is Greece defender Avraam Papadopoulos and can just eat asbestos as a mid-game snack (http://www.flickr.com/photos/40796133@N03/4725538935/)
ReplyDelete