A Hike, Skate and Pretty Woman Date
Sean enters the episode with only 13 women left. Chris tells the woman that Sean is confident that his wife is in the room. You know what else? This is the first season where Chris is single and hosting the show. Are there as many contestants hoping for a relationship with Chris as with Sean?
Hayak's Hike
Selma gets a one-on-one and Sean wants to test her ability to put up with a physically demanding date at Joshua Tree National Park. Side note. Selma is a real estate developer? Due to my actual job, I know a lot of real estate
developers. NONE look like Selma. Let's google image search for "real estate developer."
These guys are real estate developers.
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Same here.
And then we have Selma the Real Estate Developer?
In the Limo, Selma throws out that she weighs 110 pounds. I haven’t
known most girls to just give up that kind of info. In the private jet, Selma asks, “Is every date going to be like this from now
on?” Ummm, unless you stay on a reality dating show for the rest of your life or manage to marry Tim or I, NO!!!
Other date details bullet point style.
- She’s Iraqi and does not do well in the heat. Good thing she left.
- Sean picked her up and put her in the jeep. Seemed like a Pavelka move...foreshadowing
- Another cliffhanger inspired date allows me to post my favorite photoshop in WWT history
Jake & Selma continue their date in an Airstream graveyard where Selma drops some big info:
- Born in Baghdad.
- Muslim.
- Despite playing the non-kissing game, Selma gets the rose. If this continues much longer, Selma might become Burka in the blog.
Roller Derby Group Date
The General’s Daughter (Lindsey), Robyn, Jackie, Lennay, Fit
Model Amanda, AshLee, Righty, and Tierrable (Thank you for the nickname, Abramoff!) begin prepping for a Roller Derby. This date quickly devolves.
- AshLee is scared.
- Tierrable is excited to take her aggression out on the other girls
- Amanda lied about her roller derby skills to intimidate the other girls. Is that a believable lie?
- All the girls are falling. Robyn looks like she’s on ice skates which probably wouldn't be much better.
- Righty's in tears. Sean is explaining to Righty that she will have a "huge sense of accomplishment" if she competes. WHAT? Why?
- Amanda goes down. And everyone's initial reaction is to call 911!?! I want to do a new blog about how reality television shows are contributing to skyrocketing healthcare costs in this country. I have a 34 and 16 month old. If I called 911 every time they fell, they would be my most frequent called number. I would put 911 in my Fav 5.
- Sean shuts down the disaster group date and allows a Free Skate
- Right calls it "one of the most difficult days of my life” WHAT WHAT
WHAT?
After Party
- Tierrable wants a rose and is willing to throw a temper tantrum to get it. I have experience (see above).
- Amanda rises from the dead.
- Tierrable/Robyn are ready to go at it.
- General's Daughter gets her hot tub time cut off by Tierrable who gets the tantrum rose
Pretty? Woman
Mrs. Dugan is not a big fan of Leslie H. who gets diamond earrings before the date. I kind of want to keep Leslie H. because I don't know when we'll get another poker dealer on the show. It's bullet point review time:
- Rodeo Drive shopping spree at Badgley Mischka. While this means nothing to me, a quick wiki search says that the Olsen twins were former spokespersons. I don't know why that humors me.
- She calls herself a "Tan Julia Roberts"
- Sean's in a tux?
- One more thing…….. NEIL FUCKING LANE!!!
- 120 carat necklace? Cool ice. Not as cool as Neil Lane.
- No Spark = No Rose. Yes tears.
- Sean leans over the balcony and rose petals drop in slow motion. Most WWT readers can easily spot a "Mesnick," but the true loyalists know a "Flajnik" which is a Mesnick without tears.
Rose Ceremony
- AshLee and Tim's prediction are looking strong.
- Robyn really likes him and I foresee a crushing exit.
- Tierrable could be the most apropos nickname in blog history.
- This Lennay seems legit.
- 12 woman left.
- Tierrable and Burka have roses.
- 9 roses to go.
- One lady joining the other Leslie.
- Who else is safe?
- Lennay.
- Say Yes to the Des
- The Generals Daughter
- Leslie Abramoff
- Robyn
- AshLee
- Righty
- Jackie
- Daniella
Posts
Dugan, thank you for bringing your A-game to an A+ episode. I read your post in court and had to restrain myself from laughing a few times.
ReplyDeleteIf you told me to close my eyes and imagine what a real estate developer looks like, your photos you found would have been exactly what I would have thought. Possible father-son duos. Hard hats and suits. Serious faces. An Iraqi Muslim that looks like an MMA ring girl would not have been my first conjured image.
By the way, she’s Iraqi!? I had to rewind three times to make sure she said that. I thought for a second that she said she drives an IROC Z, but that seemed a little too 80s. Have you ever met an Iraqi? Maybe it’s just the circles I roll in, but I have never even talked to an Iraqi. The Bachelor Season 29: Meeting New People.
I really enjoyed the roller derby too. I’m going to miss the Fit Model. Anyone willing to so comfortably lie about roller derby experience is a great fit for the show. Unfortunately, ABC on has space for one villain a season. This year, it’s obviously Tierrable.
The pretty woman date was really strange. What kind of guy would end up with a girl with a personality like Leslie? She seemed like a total weirdo. And she’s a poker dealer. Where do these people come from!?
I also loved that Neil Lane upped the ante (get it…poker dealer) and showed up mid season. He deserves it.
Beautiful, accurate reporting on the Flajnik. You are a true professional Dugan.
4 hours next week! Whoa…dang.
Watched episode with Risa via text, couple of gems from Risa:
ReplyDelete"Tierra is like Courtney except butt ugly instead of gorgeous"
"I love how abc is making Sean pretend this black girl has a shot"
"What is 'high school pity stuff'?" (Tierrable quote).
"are they any white women named Robin?" - I had to run through 6 before I though of one...interesting insight that I would have never considered before.
I'm happy to know that Vinny is being exposed to these individuals in his formative years.
Oh, forgot to mention that I can't wait for Selma to go back on her no-kissing proclamation and Al-Jazeera reports her be-heading.
ReplyDeleteThe Poker Dealer should have stayed longer. Not because she was attractive or even fun, but when will we ever see another poker dealer on the show?
ReplyDeleteTim, I do not know any Iraqis.I know plenty of Iraqi neighbors - Persians, Saudis, Israelis and Lebanese. And while I don't know any Syrians, my abuela is named Siria. So that counts in my book.
Mike, Selma will def break down on the no-kissing. She's just holding out for a better date.
Great blog here! Also your website loads up
ReplyDeletefast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours
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I actually have met an Iraqi. She was hot like Selma. Also did anyone else think they were buying off the black chick with the Poker Dealer's date? It was my first thought.
ReplyDelete